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Hey TLS. Quick advice needed on a follow-up email to a hiring partner at a small firm. The interview was held yesterday and it was clear from the interview that the firm is looking to grow beyond a group of unaffiliated contract attorneys to firm with partnership-track positions. Here is the email:

Dear HIRING PARTNER,

Thank you very much for your time yesterday. I very much enjoyed speaking with you about your firm and its practice areas. After talking with you, it is clear that you have high expectations for business opportunities and future growth at your firm. I feel like I could offer assistance in helping you grow your practice by bringing additional skills that you and your clients may find attractive. Moreover, I would love the opportunity to be a part of a growing practice in a very high-demand field.

I look forward to speaking with you soon about any opportunities at your firm.

Sincerely,
ME

Does this sound good as a follow-up?

Be more specific and try to tie back to your interview: your follow-up right now is rather generic and sounds canned. Also, try not to use "very much" back to back.

Thanks for the feedback. Here's a second draft:

Thank you very much for your time yesterday. I enjoyed speaking with you about your firm and its practice areas. After talking with you, it is clear that you have high expectations for business opportunities and future growth at your firm especially in trademark prosecutions and enforcement. I feel like I could offer assistance in helping you grow your practice by bringing additional skills that you and your clients may find attractive including the prosecution of UDRP proceedings, the ability to help clients realize additional long-term brand value through licensing, and finding niche ways to enforce trademarks. Moreover, I would love the opportunity to be a part of a growing practice in a very high-demand field.