Tell them I'm married? Forum

[jessemllr]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

[Anonymous User]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

[LawIdiot86]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

I wouldn't mention it or hide it. I would think they would view it positively as evidence you aren't a completely anti-social psychopath if you can maintain a marital relationship, but their positive view would end if they thought it would in any way deter you from working 90 hours a week.

[Aqualibrium]

Why do you think it even matters?

If it comes up organically in conversation, it's fair game. You shouldn't enter an interview room with a strategy of playing the marriage card to gain some benefit or avoiding it so as not to be given some negative mark.

Just be a normal, tactful, engaging person.

[uk4220]

it can be helpful to show ties to a region (i.e. — my husband is also an attorney here so I'm less likely to bail anytime soon)

[alex.feuerman]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

OMYGOD this is so messed up but so true.

[A. Nony Mouse]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

[Myself]

.

[kalvano]

My general sense about it is that larger firms, maybe leave it out. They want associates they can work to death and then send on their way. Anything that might interfere with billing is red flag to them.

If it's a smaller / midsize firm, bring it up. They typically want to hire someone and retain them, and they like signs that you're a normal, stable person.

[84651846190]

Biglaw firms want robots, not normal human beings. I would not mention that you're married.

[Renzo]

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

OMYGOD this is so messed up but so true.

Every part of every layer of this is true.

[Anonymous User]

You do not want to work for a firm that doesn't want to hire married people (if such exists).

[Anonymous User]

I say, be yourself. You'll do more damage if you try to hide it, as it will come out. Like, how are you going to hide the fact that maybe you wear a ring? I'm a married female, and I still got a big law job. It was impossible for me to hide (my married name is Asian, and I'm Caucasian). I couldn't explain why I changed geographic locations without mentioning my husband. If I didn't get a callback or offer, I doubt it was because I was married.

[r6_philly]

I mentioned in every interview that I am married with kids. If they feel like that's a concern for them, I will go to one that it won't be.

[kryptix]

The married thing kind of gives itself away from the ring, but I found that female partners in particular seemed happy to talk about kids with me, so YMMV. I am a guy though so if your a girl that might also be an issue.

[prs362]

I'm a male and usually mentioned it, and I think it actually helped stimulate organic conversations. The mention of the wife would usually be followed by something like "Oh, what does your wife do," etc. If nothing else, it's a time filler in an otherwise awkward setting.

[Anonymous User]

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

OMYGOD this is so messed up but so true.

Every part of every layer of this is true.

I'm torn on this - I'm engaged and my fiancé is back in my (notoriously insular) home market. Does the advantage of that strong tie outweigh the bias against married women, or should I take the ring off and not mention it? (I also have some work experience and family in the area as well.)

[Lwoods]

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

OMYGOD this is so messed up but so true.

Every part of every layer of this is true.

I'm torn on this - I'm engaged and my fiancé is back in my (notoriously insular) home market. Does the advantage of that strong tie outweigh the bias against married women, or should I take the ring off and not mention it? (I also have some work experience and family in the area as well.)

The ties definitely outweigh (though I'm not entirely convinced there is any bias against married women). I would actually lead with that when applying to your home market. However, don't mention your fiancé in interviews not in your hometown. Ties matter to nearly every employer (particularly outside of NY). A bias against married women is far more speculative.

[Torney12]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

This is correct. If you are a female law student and already married, people are going eye you warily as a maternity leave risk. Politics are such that firms have to pay you during your maternity leave instead of firing you as they'd very often prefer, but providing full checks and benefits to people who aren't generating billable hours isn't a firm's idea of a smart expenditure.

If you are a male law student and married, on the other hand, then you are actually more attractive because we (firms) will probably have you by the balls. I have found that it really is true that married men put up with the most abuse and bill the most of any demographic because they are almost always their families' primary or even sole breadwinners.

[kryptix]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

This is correct. If you are a female law student and already married, people are going eye you warily as a maternity leave risk. Politics are such that firms have to pay you during your maternity leave instead of firing you as they'd very often prefer, but providing full checks and benefits to people who aren't generating billable hours isn't a firm's idea of a smart expenditure.

If you are a male law student and married, on the other hand, then you are actually more attractive because we (firms) will probably have you by the balls. I have found that it really is true that married men put up with the most abuse and bill the most of any demographic because they are almost always their families' primary or even sole breadwinners.

Yeah nothing like thinking about the little one at home to keep you going when you think your going to collapse . I do prefer to put in extended overtime from home though, whats the point of making more if you never get to see the kids...

[Torney12]

How do potential employers view law student that are married? Better to not mention it at all?

Are you female? If so, keep it to yourself. If you're male, on the other hand, it's a plus (makes you seem stable).

This is correct. If you are a female law student and already married, people are going eye you warily as a maternity leave risk. Politics are such that firms have to pay you during your maternity leave instead of firing you as they'd very often prefer, but providing full checks and benefits to people who aren't generating billable hours isn't a firm's idea of a smart expenditure.

If you are a male law student and married, on the other hand, then you are actually more attractive because we (firms) will probably have you by the balls. I have found that it really is true that married men put up with the most abuse and bill the most of any demographic because they are almost always their families' primary or even sole breadwinners.

I should clarify that I'm not saying that the original poster shouldn't tell firms that s/he is married. Unless you're planning to get divorced, it's better to be frank about your marital status and weed out firms where that might be a problem.