How not to sound like a prick when mentioning my firm? Forum

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:19 pm

Whenever people ask what I'm doing next year, I always just say that I'm working for a firm in (major market). Usually that ends it, but sometimes they will follow up and ask where. After I say the firm (it's well known), I always get a weird comment where it sounds like they think I'm bragging.

Is there any other way to approach the question? Don't change my answer?

apparentlynew · Post by **apparentlynew** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:22 pm

What firm are you working at?

ben4847 · Post by **ben4847** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:23 pm

Yes, like this:

Parent's friend: So, what are you doing this summer?
Non-socially awkward law student: I'll be working at Wachtell Lipton; it's a law firm in New York.

ETA: Not that any non-socially awkward student would ever end up in Wachtell...

fraught · Post by **fraught** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:24 pm

Seems like you're overthinking it. I don't see how there's anything wrong with saying "I'll be at a firm in NYC next summer" and then giving the name if they push you on it. I mean...what else can you really say?

r6_philly · Post by **r6_philly** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:25 pm

Why are you talking to people who ask factual questions but are unhappy with an accurate answer?

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:31 pm

r6_philly wrote:Why are you talking to people who ask factual questions but are unhappy with an accurate answer?

If you're actually handling it the way you say and don't do so in a douchetastic tone, any resentment on their part is only indicative of their own jealousy/insecurities. If they can't be happy for you, they can go fuck themselves.

Old Gregg · Post by **Old Gregg** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:06 pm

You should just say something like this:

1: where are you working?
2: oh just at a law firm in new York.
1: which firm?
2: it's just a firm in manhattan
1: which firm in manhattan?
2: it's in midtown
1: which firm in midtown?
2: just across the street from the moma
1: orrick?
2: no, wachtell.

Works like a fuckin charm for those harvard kids

imchuckbass58 · Post by **imchuckbass58** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:29 pm

Some people may be put off since saying you're working for "a firm in New York" (or wherever) then saying "Wachtell" (or whichever firm) when pressed is a bit like saying you went to college "in Connecticut" when you went to Yale.

Most people just say the name of the firm (or college), if it's a firm/college that people would know. Just saying the city is mildly evasive, which some people perceive as condescending (i.e., you don't want to tell them the name of the firm because they'll feel bad).

ben4847 wrote: Non-socially awkward law student: I'll be working at Wachtell Lipton; it's a law firm in New York.

This is what you should say.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:50 pm

If they comment, they are being nice. If you try to hide it, I feel like it will draw more attention to the fact that you think it's prestigious.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:53 pm

imchuckbass58 wrote:Some people may be put off since saying you're working for "a firm in New York" (or wherever) then saying "Wachtell" (or whichever firm) when pressed is a bit like saying you went to college "in Connecticut" when you went to Yale.

Most people just say the name of the firm (or college), if it's a firm/college that people would know. Just saying the city is mildly evasive, which some people perceive as condescending (i.e., you don't want to tell them the name of the firm because they'll feel bad).

I agree. I worked for a NYC V5 this summer, and I don't think I ever came across as a prick when people asked where I was going. The conversations usually went like this: "Figure out where you're going to be next summer?" "Yeah" "Where?" "[V5 firm]" "Ah, congrats." Or maybe like this: "Which firm where you at this summer?" "[V5 firm]" "Ah, okay. I've heard good things about them."

Never any real awkwardness. Never any weird attempt to hide my summer firm. Worked out okay for me.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:59 pm

Sounds like they are just being jealous. As long as you aren't baiting them into asking you, there is nothing wrong with being honest when they actually question you. I know one kid who baited in every conservation, and you could not be in the same room as him and not hear from him about how he is going to Cravath this summer. It was so obnoxious and insufferable, because no one was asking him (since we all knew 1000x over). You aren't being that guy at all.

Just make sure to not do the flipside. There was one douche in my class who refused to say where he was working since he "didn't want to make things awkward", which is something he actually said. To me, thats even worse than baiting and telling all the time. So just be honest if asked, and its no big deal.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:02 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Sounds like they are just being jealous. As long as you aren't baiting them into asking you, there is nothing wrong with being honest when they actually question you. I know one kid who baited in every conservation, and you could not be in the same room as him and not hear from him about how he is going to Cravath this summer. It was so obnoxious and insufferable, because no one was asking him (since we all knew 1000x over). You aren't being that guy at all.

Is it just my imagination, or does Cravath attract more of these types than any other firm?

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:04 pm

I asked someone this question the other day. He pulled the "firm in NY" followed by "it's called Sullivan & Cromwell." I immediately thought "this kid is a douche bag."

Richie Tenenbaum · Post by **Richie Tenenbaum** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:14 pm

"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be at 'X firm' in 'Y city.' How about yourself?"
"Congrats! I'll be at . . . ."

How is basic human interaction skills beyond some law students? I'm not Mr. Social Butterfly, but I thought most people figured out basic communication skills by college.

ETA:
1. "Hiding" what firm you'll be at can come off as condescending--like you think you're better than that person, but you're "graciously" trying to hide it.
2. If they ask you where you'll be, you should reciprocate, and ask about their plans. This allows the conversion to actually continue naturally, and it shows you actually care about other people.
3. Showing enthusiasm about where you're going shows sincerity and excitement (and potentially even some humility, since it's like "I'm so happy to been given the chance to work at X firm"). Trying to "play it cool" when saying where you're going gives the impression that you know how awesome you are and you're trying to play it cool like a big douche bag.

071816 · Post by **071816** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:16 pm

A little ASS BURGERS action

IAFG · Post by **IAFG** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:17 pm

Is this a problem that actual people have?

simpletimes · Post by **simpletimes** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:18 pm

Richie Tenenbaum wrote:"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be at 'X firm' in 'Y city.' How about yourself?"
"Congrats! I'll be at . . . ."

How is basic human interaction skills beyond some law students? I'm not Mr. Social Butterfly, but I thought most people figured out basic communication skills by college.

+1, this isn't complicated.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:20 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Sounds like they are just being jealous. As long as you aren't baiting them into asking you, there is nothing wrong with being honest when they actually question you. I know one kid who baited in every conservation, and you could not be in the same room as him and not hear from him about how he is going to Cravath this summer. It was so obnoxious and insufferable, because no one was asking him (since we all knew 1000x over). You aren't being that guy at all.
Is it just my imagination, or does Cravath attract more of these types than any other firm?

Agreed. Unfortunately, many students pick this firm not because its the right fit, but because its the highest ranked and most prestigious. One usually doesn't prestige-whore in a vacuum. It only serves its purpose if you can air it out to others.

r6_philly · Post by **r6_philly** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:20 pm

Richie Tenenbaum wrote:"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be at 'X firm' in 'Y city.' How about yourself?"
"Congrats! I'll be at . . . ."

How is basic human interaction skills beyond some law students? I'm not Mr. Social Butterfly, but I thought most people figured out basic communication skills by college.

And what's wrong with

"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be going to New York!"
"Congrats! Which firm?"
"Watchell ..."

Hey, if this simple conversation turns weird, both parties are at fault.

Richie Tenenbaum · Post by **Richie Tenenbaum** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:23 pm

r6_philly wrote:
Richie Tenenbaum wrote:"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be at 'X firm' in 'Y city.' How about yourself?"
"Congrats! I'll be at . . . ."

How is basic human interaction skills beyond some law students? I'm not Mr. Social Butterfly, but I thought most people figured out basic communication skills by college.
And what's wrong with

"Have you figured out what you're doing after graduation?"
"Yeah! I'll be going to New York!"
"Congrats! Which firm?"
"Watchell ..."

Hey, if this simple conversation turns weird, both parties are at fault.

That works too. I was just trying to provide "The Idiot's Guide to Basic Human Interaction Skills." Your example might get too complicated for some apparently (like OP) if they are overly nonchalant (when saying the city) and appear to be elusive about saying the firm's name.

EvilClinton · Post by **EvilClinton** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:23 pm

I have the opposite problem.

When I talk to non-law students they always ask where I am working. I tell them the name of my firm (a V100) and since they have not heard of it they assume it sucks. They say things like "oh well you can always transfer" or "well at least you aren't one of those ambulance chasers". In reality my firm is one of the top in this market but non-lawyers never hear about it.

071816 · Post by **071816** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:25 pm

EvilClinton wrote:I have the opposite problem.

When I talk to non-law students they always ask where I am working. I tell them the name of my firm (a V100) and since they have not heard of it they assume it sucks. They say things like "oh well you can always transfer" or "well at least you aren't one of those ambulance chasers". In reality my firm is one of the top in this market but non-lawyers never hear about it.

k

Richie Tenenbaum · Post by **Richie Tenenbaum** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:25 pm

EvilClinton wrote:I have the opposite problem.

When I talk to non-law students they always ask where I am working. I tell them the name of my firm (a V100) and since they have not heard of it they assume it sucks. They say things like "oh well you can always transfer" or "well at least you aren't one of those ambulance chasers". In reality my firm is one of the top in this market but non-lawyers never hear about it.

You're either 1) a douche bag prestige whore or 2) you've surrounded yourself with douche bag prestige whores. I think your problem is harder to fix than OP's.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:26 pm

EvilClinton wrote:I have the opposite problem.

When I talk to non-law students they always ask where I am working. I tell them the name of my firm (a V100) and since they have not heard of it they assume it sucks. They say things like "oh well you can always transfer" or "well at least you aren't one of those ambulance chasers". In reality my firm is one of the top in this market but non-lawyers never hear about it.

Why is this a problem? If I go to the University of Chicago and some people think it's a crappy state school, who cares? My self-confidence is not built upon what other people think.

IAFG · Post by **IAFG** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:26 pm

No one has asked me what I will be doing (except professors: super fun when they ask people in front of the entire class). Maybe the people who ask are also the people who are going to get butthurt about it.

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