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How bad is to tell a hiring partner who interviewed you that they were your #1 choice and then reject or take a really long time to accept after an offer?

My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

Anonymous User wrote:My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

THIS.

Anonymous User wrote:My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

That's what I'm afraid of... I said it to one firm because they were at the time but now I may choose another firm over them simply because I liked the other one more after my callbacks. However, I don't want to be perceived as a liar and I'm not sure if there will be negative consequences (bad reputation or what not). At the same time, I don't want to end up choosing a firm simply because I was stupid enough to tell them they were my first choice at the time of the callbacks.

Anonymous User wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

That's what I'm afraid of... I said it to one firm because they were at the time but now I may choose another firm over them simply because I liked the other one more after my callbacks. However, I don't want to be perceived as a liar and I'm not sure if there will be negative consequences (bad reputation or what not). At the same time, I don't want to end up choosing a firm simply because I was stupid enough to tell them they were my first choice at the time of the callbacks.

Do you have an offer from either?

You had not been on callbacks at that point, so as long as you only told it to one place, I think you are find ethically. As far as your reputation is concerned, it is a little tougher. Very hard call.

Person wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

That's what I'm afraid of... I said it to one firm because they were at the time but now I may choose another firm over them simply because I liked the other one more after my callbacks. However, I don't want to be perceived as a liar and I'm not sure if there will be negative consequences (bad reputation or what not). At the same time, I don't want to end up choosing a firm simply because I was stupid enough to tell them they were my first choice at the time of the callbacks.

Do you have an offer from either?

You had not been on callbacks at that point, so as long as you only told it to one place, I think you are find ethically. As far as your reputation is concerned, it is a little tougher. Very hard call.

Sry if I wasn't clear. I've received offers at both firms. At this point, I'm almost guilted into taking the firm that I've told was my first choice... the lesson here is probably don't say it unless you mean it. I just didn't think I would like the other firm so much during my callback interviews.

they were your first choice at the time. You have new info now. Go with the firm you like best, no worries. There won't be any problem here, and you'll be doing yourself a disservice if you don't. No firm expects you to know exactly what you want before actually going and seeing the place. Lots of things can change your feelings. You were honest at the time, don't worry about it. They won't even notice.

Anonymous User wrote:

Person wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:My take: you only have one professional reputation - guard it scrupulously

That's what I'm afraid of... I said it to one firm because they were at the time but now I may choose another firm over them simply because I liked the other one more after my callbacks. However, I don't want to be perceived as a liar and I'm not sure if there will be negative consequences (bad reputation or what not). At the same time, I don't want to end up choosing a firm simply because I was stupid enough to tell them they were my first choice at the time of the callbacks.

Do you have an offer from either?

You had not been on callbacks at that point, so as long as you only told it to one place, I think you are find ethically. As far as your reputation is concerned, it is a little tougher. Very hard call.

Sry if I wasn't clear. I've received offers at both firms. At this point, I'm almost guilted into taking the firm that I've told was my first choice... the lesson here is probably don't say it unless you mean it. I just didn't think I would like the other firm so much during my callback interviews.

I'd just be honest about it - say what you said here - you didn't expect to like the other firm as much as you did, you just think it's a better fit for you, you really appreciated the offer from #1 etc. It's not the best of situations but it's hardly going to end your career.

kurla88 wrote:I'd just be honest about it - say what you said here - you didn't expect to like the other firm as much as you did, you just think it's a better fit for you, you really appreciated the offer from #1 etc. It's not the best of situations but it's hardly going to end your career.

I agree with this recommendation however I would further recommend trying to divert attention away from the specific quote "you are my number one choice" to something more generic like you were one of my top selections however as I continued through the process and another firm rose to the top.

I think the prevailing view on recruiting/hiring is that it is a one way street but that is not reality. The firms are just as accountable for ensuring you will accept an offer as you are to ensure that you receive an offer. The obviously missed someting if they were your #1 selection and you ended up selecting an offer from another firm.

If you handle the offer rejection in a professional way I don't think this will hurt you in the long run. Regardless, I certainly would not recommend accepting an offer out of guilt. Just be up front, be firm and be professional.

Whoo saaa. Okay, this sounds like the best recourse. Who should I talk to? The recruiter or the hiring partner? Please say recruiter, please say recruiter.

These firms have highly qualified candidates beating down their doors. They don't care. Enjoy firm 2. Also, just my $0.02, but the "didn't think I'd like them so much until I had my CB" line sounds like complete BS. What's more likely? Option 1: under a very acceptable game theory rationale, you told the firm at which you thought you had the best shot that they were your first choice, and then received an unexpected offer from a better-ranked firm. Option 2: you met 5 people over the course of a couple hours that drastically altered your outlook on two fairly fungible providers of the same service. Ockham's Razor. Just sayin'.

Pick the firm that you feel like will best serve your needs. Decline all offers with sincerity. At the end of the day this is a business - do what's best for you.

Just say that if he'd wanted an enforceable option, he should've given consideration.

kurla88 wrote:I'd just be honest about it - say what you said here - you didn't expect to like the other firm as much as you did, you just think it's a better fit for you, you really appreciated the offer from #1 etc. It's not the best of situations but it's hardly going to end your career.

+1. I think if you are sympathetic and explain, that will probably smooth things over. I'm guessing (and im no expert, obviously) that as long as you don't straight up cold reject them, the hiring partner is not going to be telling everyone what a liar you are.

Anonymous User wrote:Whoo saaa. Okay, this sounds like the best recourse. Who should I talk to? The recruiter or the hiring partner? Please say recruiter, please say recruiter.

Who have you been communicating with about the offer? (If there was communication after the initial offering?) I'd check with your career services about this, but I'd guess you contact whoever made you the offer.