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polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:15 pm
by Anonymous User
My friend did this during 1L year, and he is starting to do this now as a rising 2L.

He sends me g-chat messages, really frequently, about every minor update in his "employment" search.

What's happning 2L year though - is that people other than him are starting to do the same thing.

I have a two-part question:
1) Is it my insecurity in feeling irritated at these messages? I concede, this could be part of it, but another part me of me thinks this is slightly abnoxious behavior - I would love to get you guys take on it (mainly because a part of me says I should suck it up and celebrate other peoples' success)

2) Regardless of whether this is my insecurity, or their lack of social awareness - this really disrupts my focus because I start worrying about my own job prospects when I hear about everybody else getting early callbacks, and in general interest from firms that I would love to work for. What should I tell this person/s about my desire to not hear about their job stuff? I've already blocked this "friend" from gchat, but I know I'm going to run into him every single day in law school, and I don't really want to isolate myself from these guys because they're a good set of kids. For whatever reason, conversations they should be having with their spouse/parents are conversations they want to have with me, maybe I come off as someone who can handle it - but I'm pretty nervous about my employment stuff and your thoughtful responses will be appreciated.

3) A tech question: can this friend figure out that I've blocked him from g-chat?
Anonymous for really obvious reasons.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:18 pm
by Pearalegal
I believe the only answer here is to be mature and try to talk to a few of the people who are making you more anxious and just say, "listen, I'm incredibly nervous about job stuff, could we just talk about something else?"

Or, be mature and get over it.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:19 pm
by bigben
Punch in the nuts.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:23 pm
by Anonymous User
last thing - this "friend" is about to become my 2L room mate - so, yikes.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:25 pm
by MrKappus
Better make sure you're never on gchat when he's in the apartment...unless you're in love with awkwardness.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:25 pm
by Pearalegal
Uh, if your friend isn't an idiot and realizes he never sees you online but knows you still use gchat/gmail then....uh, yeah.

I understand why its irritating, but I really think its time to just get over it.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:27 pm
by Anonymous User
MrKappus wrote:Better make sure you're never on gchat when he's in the apartment...unless you're in love with awkwardness.
oh yeah, good call, lol - thank you sir.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:33 pm
by 270910
There's bragging and then there's bragging. It's good manners not to just randomly blurt it out to people, but for people with whom you have a close relationship or know you have similar credentials then it's a perfectly acceptable conversation topic. My guess is few rising 2Ls are thinking about much else these days. During OCI, you're going to be wandering the halls with people interviewing and talking about interviewing. The best solution here is probably to grow a thick skin - not because what they're doing isn't douchey (it certainly probably is) but because you're going to be completely immersed in it soon enough.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:36 pm
by rayiner
It's douchey behavior, but calling him out on it will be more distraction than it's worth.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:36 pm
by Kohinoor
Anonymous User wrote:My friend did this during 1L year, and he is starting to do this now as a rising 2L.

He sends me g-chat messages, really frequently, about every minor update in his "employment" search.

What's happning 2L year though - is that people other than him are starting to do the same thing.

I have a two-part question:
1) Is it my insecurity in feeling irritated at these messages? I concede, this could be part of it, but another part me of me thinks this is slightly abnoxious behavior - I would love to get you guys take on it (mainly because a part of me says I should suck it up and celebrate other peoples' success)

2) Regardless of whether this is my insecurity, or their lack of social awareness - this really disrupts my focus because I start worrying about my own job prospects when I hear about everybody else getting early callbacks, and in general interest from firms that I would love to work for. What should I tell this person/s about my desire to not hear about their job stuff? I've already blocked this "friend" from gchat, but I know I'm going to run into him every single day in law school, and I don't really want to isolate myself from these guys because they're a good set of kids. For whatever reason, conversations they should be having with their spouse/parents are conversations they want to have with me, maybe I come off as someone who can handle it - but I'm pretty nervous about my employment stuff and your thoughtful responses will be appreciated.

3) A tech question: can this friend figure out that I've blocked him from g-chat?
Anonymous for really obvious reasons.
lol. Tell him you don't care about his shit. What's this "can this friend figure out that I've blocked him from g-chat?" Are you holding out for a date or something?

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:39 pm
by Kohinoor
Anonymous User wrote: 1) Is it my insecurity in feeling irritated at these messages? I concede, this could be part of it, but another part me of me thinks this is slightly abnoxious behavior - I would love to get you guys take on it (mainly because a part of me says I should suck it up and celebrate other peoples' success)
Pre-ITE, everyone was getting jobs and it was fine to discuss how awesome your life was. ITE, it seems like it would be the height of inconsiderateness to do so without knowing that the person you're talking to isn't spinning in the wind.

Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 8:18 pm
by NYAssociate
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Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:06 pm
by bwv812
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Re: polite way to deal with callback show offs

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:16 pm
by 20121109
bwv812 wrote:I hear at HLS the credited approach to such situations is to encourage your "friend" to make racist statements and then forward these comments to their employer (and the world). And the Shirley Sherrod debacle has shown us that even if they don't make racist statements, then you edit their responses so that they sound racist.
This approach is actually more appropriate when a so-called friend gets with your ex behind your back and you're looking for revenge. Vindictive HLS students FTL.