How to Dress For a Law School Visit and Using "Ma'am" Forum

justonemoregame · Post by **justonemoregame** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:57 pm

No one in the NE gets offended at being called sir or ma'am, they just think you're a doe-eyed retarded fuck from the south, which is a fair enough reason not to say it.

PoopyPants · Post by **PoopyPants** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:28 am

A. Nony Mouse wrote:It doesn't make northeasterners douches.

It's the winters. #nycwinterscanlickmyballs

Generally · Post by **Generally** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:30 pm

Post removed.

rnoodles · Post by **rnoodles** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 2:54 pm

I use sir and ma'am out of respect, no matter where I am. If it makes the person uncomfortable, they kindly ask me to call them something else. In most cases, it leads to a nice little talk of where I'm from and breaks any overhanging tension (e.g. "No, no please call me Bob. My father's name is sir/Mr. X"). Most people are not so ignorant as to ding you for trying to be respectful.

Concerning clothes, I wore a suit whenever I visited and had an interview set up or business casual otherwise. It's still a professional school, and you're going to be interacting with people that will know you and your file. If you're a guy, just hold off the roshes and hoodies for the school year.

chuckbass · Post by **chuckbass** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 2:58 pm

The OP said nothing about an interview though

rnoodles · Post by **rnoodles** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:02 pm

Honestly didn't read the OP. Also mentioned what scenarios I thought it was appropriate to wear something formal like a suit and when it was fine to be business casual.

If it's just a tour, don't overkill it with the outfit. Business casual should be fine.

hdunlop · Post by **hdunlop** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:08 pm

justonemoregame wrote:No one in the NE gets offended at being called sir or ma'am, they just think you're a doe-eyed retarded fuck from the south, which is a fair enough reason not to say it.

Why would anyone think you're a douche

PoopNpants · Post by **PoopNpants** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:09 pm

I think you should use "Ma'am" only if you have a nice Savannah accent that is like molasses just sort of spilling out of your mouth

Caesar Salad · Post by **Caesar Salad** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 8:09 pm

kartelite wrote: Um, of course. But you'd have to be pretty ignant not to know that ma'am is a commonly used salutation in a significant part of our country, so it seems to me it's more of a case of yanks being all uppity rather than actually misunderstanding.

Lol the south is not significant

Generally · Post by **Generally** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 9:22 pm

Post removed.

hdunlop · Post by **hdunlop** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 1:37 am

Not nearly enough trash on the streets tho nyc 4ever

xRON MEXiCOx · Post by **xRON MEXiCOx** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 2:00 am

Pretty sure the south is the only region that says sir/mam.

PoopyPants · Post by **PoopyPants** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:38 pm

Ron Mexico wrote:Pretty sure the south is the only region that says sir/mam.

Texas. Small town, at least.

victory · Post by **victory** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:35 pm

I grew up in the Mid Atlantic and picked up calling most people Sir/Ma'am if responding to a request (provided that you're not familiar with them/unsure how to address them). Is this the context we're talking about? Or do you walk into a store and greet the cashier with a "Good morning, sir"? Former seems fine, latter seems strange.

Or is using sir/ma'am in any context seen as a negative in the NE? How about Miss if the woman looks young?

anyriotgirl · Post by **anyriotgirl** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:40 pm

victory wrote:I grew up in the Mid Atlantic and picked up calling most people Sir/Ma'am if responding to a request (provided that you're not familiar with them/unsure how to address them). Is this the context we're talking about? Or do you walk into a store and greet the cashier with a "Good morning, sir"? Former seems fine, latter seems strange.

Or is using sir/ma'am in any context seen as a negative in the NE? How about Miss if the woman looks young?

EVEN WORSE

Instinctive · Post by **Instinctive** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:43 pm

I say ma'am to all women I am not already on a first-name basis with, and sir to men who I am not on a first-name basis with (both these rules don't apply during, say, pickup basketball).

If someone gets snarky or acts upset or pulls that "I'm not a ma'am!" indignity bs, I just apologize, let a little drawl back into my voice, and go with, "Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."

chuckbass · Post by **chuckbass** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:59 pm

Instinctive wrote:I say ma'am to all women I am not already on a first-name basis with, and sir to men who I am not on a first-name basis with (both these rules don't apply during, say, pickup basketball).

If someone gets snarky or acts upset or pulls that "I'm not a ma'am!" indignity bs, I just apologize, let a little drawl back into my voice, and go with, "Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."

And then they hopefully respond "but you're not in Texas"

The Mixed Tape · Post by **The Mixed Tape** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:05 pm

"Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."

I'm from Texas and don't appriciate you spreading these lies

kristaann_vt · Post by **kristaann_vt** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:37 pm

Thank you all for your advice.

The visit today went well. I was mindful not to use "ma'am" as much as possible, but I slipped up in the beginning. The woman conducting the tour was very friendly, and didn't seem to notice. I think it went very well.

Several of you mentioned not attending UConn solely for the clinic. I completely agree. I had mentioned this because this was one of the programs I had hoped to learn more about during my visit. One of the reasons I was interested in learning more about UConn was for the cost. My aunt lives nearby and she has offered to allow me to live with her rent free. Additionally, I'm currently eligible for New England resident tuition, and would be eligible for state tuition my second year.

Obviously, there are other important factors to consider when looking at law schools, such as job placement rates, where students find jobs, ext. However, tuition and costs are also important, so given my aunt's offer, I wanted to look further into this school.

Thank you all for your help!
Krista

Instinctive · Post by **Instinctive** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:29 am

The Mixed Tape wrote:
"Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."
I'm from Texas and don't appriciate you spreading these lies

I am from Texas, and everyone I'm not on familiar terms with is absolutely a ma'am or sir, until they say otherwise. Most of the people I grew up with would say the same. And it's not like I'm from the backwoods or anything...grew up in Houston and Dallas.

I'm sure not everyone feels the same way, but I'm proud of my culture. If someone is gonna be a dick rather than make a joke or request another salutation and laugh it off, I don't particularly want to spend a lot of time around them anyway...

PoopyPants · Post by **PoopyPants** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:14 am

chuckbass wrote:
Instinctive wrote:I say ma'am to all women I am not already on a first-name basis with, and sir to men who I am not on a first-name basis with (both these rules don't apply during, say, pickup basketball).

If someone gets snarky or acts upset or pulls that "I'm not a ma'am!" indignity bs, I just apologize, let a little drawl back into my voice, and go with, "Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."
And then they hopefully respond "but you're not in Texas"

Or they respond like reasonable adults and say, "Oh, you were just raised to be respectful. Thanks, but it makes me feel old."

To which the Texan would reply, "I'll try not to let it slip out."

And everyone would be amicable, because that is how adults (should) act.

PoopyPants · Post by **PoopyPants** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:18 am

Instinctive wrote:
The Mixed Tape wrote:
"Oh, well I'm from Texas, so everyone is a ma'am or a sir."
I'm from Texas and don't appriciate you spreading these lies
I am from Texas, and everyone I'm not on familiar terms with is absolutely a ma'am or sir, until they say otherwise. Most of the people I grew up with would say the same. And it's not like I'm from the backwoods or anything...grew up in Houston and Dallas.

I'm sure not everyone feels the same way, but I'm proud of my culture. If someone is gonna be a dick rather than make a joke or request another salutation and laugh it off, I don't particularly want to spend a lot of time around them anyway...

Never lived in a big city in Texas, but in Lee County, anyway, sir/ma'am is very common when addressing someone not on familiar terms.

radio1nowhere · Post by **radio1nowhere** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 1:20 pm

I'll be living outside the Deep South for the first time when I leave for LS in a few days, and I didn't even consider the possibility of my manners not being, you know, manners. Hm. I think at this point I'm not going to try to change anything; if anyone does have an issue with how I address them, it shouldn't be a big deal for them to politely notify me, at which point I will politely accommodate them. If it turns out to be an issue for a lot of people, I'll get to work on it. Though the one time I remember talking an older stranger who asked me not to call him "sir," I obligingly and unthinkingly responded "yes sir!" Whoops.

The Mixed Tape · Post by **The Mixed Tape** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 3:08 pm

radio1nowhere wrote:Though the one time I remember talking an older stranger who asked me not to call him "sir," I obligingly and unthinkingly responded "yes sir!" Whoops.