Check out my LOCI
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:28 pm
Hey guys, I got waitlisted at my top school, does anyone wanna check out my LOCI and give me some feedback?? Thanks for the help!!
Law School Discussion Forums
https://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/
https://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=227815
I was lazy editing this, i have to admit. However, I believe the flow could really be cleaned up a lot, and the length could be chopped in half. If you unequivocally state that you'll attend that school if admitted, that's about as strong as your language in this letter could be. Don't waste the adcom's time. They are extremely busy. Just tell them you'd definitely attend if admitted and a reason or two why.karmaman wrote:Maybe it's easier if I just post it here, looking for any input, comments, critques, etc...Thanks a lot guys!
Dear Dean X,
I write to you today to reinforce my unwavering commitment to attending the Gould School of Law this coming Fall. "X's School" top-notch faculty and staff, coupled with their wide variety of clinical programs clearly demonstrate that X is the right choice for me. Having worked in my father’s own small business for much of my life, the Small Business Clinic truly specificallypeakedpiquedmy interest. I understand the difficulties and complexities involved when running your own business, and as such it would be such a rewarding experience to pass on some of my personal experiences as well as to my new found legal knowledge to those that are facing similar situations that we have faced in the past. I am a firm believer that the best way to obtain a fully developed education is to incorporate classroom training with hands-on training, and X's School clinical approach perfectly fits this criteria.
Furthermore, my previous work and life experiences allow me to bring a unique perspective to the classroom. Having traveled five of the world’s seven continents, I have had the opportunity to engage with from all walks of life, faiths, and beliefs. From donating soccer supplies to a favela in Sao Paolo to serving men, women, and children hot meals at the X Mission, these encounters have taught me the importance of compassion, empathy, and understanding. In no profession are these traits more desirable then that of a lawyer, for as a lawyer people look up to you, depend on you, lean on you in often the times of greatest hardships in their life. I believe that it is essential when working as a lawyer to view every client as a human being first, with real issues, problems, and feelings, then as a client second. These attributes coupled with my diverse cultural background and language skills allow me to connect with people of all backgrounds, ethnicities and races to garner their trust, thus allowing me to better to do my job as an attorney.
As an Angelino, I take great pride in my city; X is my home, my life, and my love. For this reason, I am assured that attending law school at X is the only choice for me. I am so convinced of this point, that I have declined to begin my law school education at any other school for the previous two years because Iknewknow that there is no better way tobegin my journey to change my city than X. With the aid of my X degree, I want to continue to develop and transform our great city into the industrial, intellectual, and societal mecca that it is destined to be.
I think it's too long and a little overly dramatic. I don't think you need to wax philosophical about what being a lawyer means, the smiling faces of children, etc etc. It comes off as naive and the language is just so extreme: the societal mecca, etc.karmaman wrote:Bump? Looking to send this in in the next day or two, is the content ok just needs to be shortened or what do you think?