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During the fall semester of my junior year I studied abroad in Europe. Although I was of legal drinking age in the countries I was residing in, I was living in the dormitories of my undergraduate university, so the dry campus rule was in effect. During my stay I received two alcohol violations. After my first violation on August 31, 2012, I plead guilty and received a warning that if a future violation occurred I would be subject to further discipline. Unfortunately I repeated my mistake. On October 11, 2012 I received a second alcohol violation. These disciplinary actions were a result of my immaturity but I did learn from the situation. After my second offense I was placed on a strict curfew and had to abide by travel restrictions for three weeks. I also completed an alcohol edu course. I sincerely regret my actions and take full responsibility. I believe I learned from the incident and since then have not had any disciplinary issues.

I think it's fine. You took responsibility, and that's really all they care about, especially for something as minor as alcohol on campus.

seems like you could shorten this up: "I received violation 1 on X date, and a violation 2 on X date, after which I was put on curfew." Its minor, but why include the warning if you don't have to?

I took out the warning part.. would this be better?

During the fall semester of my junior year I studied abroad in Europe. Although I was of legal drinking age in the countries I was residing in, I was living in the dormitories of my undergraduate university, so the dry campus rule was in effect. During my stay I received two alcohol violations. I received my first violation on August 31, 2012 and plead guilty. Unfortunately I repeated my mistake. On October 11, 2012 I received a second alcohol violation. These disciplinary actions were a result of my immaturity but I did learn from the situation. After my second offense I was placed on a strict curfew and had to abide by travel restrictions for three weeks. I also completed an alcohol edu course. I sincerely regret my actions and take full responsibility. I believe I learned from the incident and since then have not had any disciplinary issues.

looks good. the more concise the better.

I would drop the I was warned and did it anyway structure entirely. I Received two alcohol violations on xx , and xxx. I learned blah blah

Also drop the bit about being of legal drinking age, makes it sound like you're trying to justify it. You weren't charge with MIP, so as long as you say you we're violating a dry campus rule, they won't assume it was also illegal.

"These disciplinary actions were a result of my immaturity"

This sounds weird. The disciplinary actions were a result of your breaking the rules (which may itself be a result of immaturity, but still.) I'd just cut it out. The stuff at the end about taking responsibility does the job.

Would it really be a bad idea to include the fact that I was of legal drinking age? I think the fact that I wasn't breaking any real laws makes it a different situation than if I was underage, and also breaking a school law on top of that.

pandorasbox92 wrote:Would it really be a bad idea to include the fact that I was of legal drinking age? I think the fact that I wasn't breaking any real laws makes it a different situation than if I was underage, and also breaking a school law on top of that.

As I said, I don't think they'll assume it was illegal (based on the combination of "junior year" and "Europe,") but if you're going to leave it in I'd at least rephrase it. Something like "I violated a dry-campus rule that applied to all students regardless of age."

But it's not a major issue.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but plead in the past tense should be "pleaded"

Chrysogonus wrote:Correct me if I'm wrong, but plead in the past tense should be "pleaded"

Its either "pled" or "pleaded", pleaded being technically correct, "Pled" being far more common.

Clearly wrote:

Chrysogonus wrote:Correct me if I'm wrong, but plead in the past tense should be "pleaded"

Its either "pled" or "pleaded", pleaded being technically correct, "Pled" being far more common.

right on

my point being, of course, that OP should probably use either one of these and not "I received my first violation on August 31, 2012 and plead guilty"

Chrysogonus wrote:

Clearly wrote:

Chrysogonus wrote:Correct me if I'm wrong, but plead in the past tense should be "pleaded"

Its either "pled" or "pleaded", pleaded being technically correct, "Pled" being far more common.

right on

my point being, of course, that OP should probably use either one of these and not "I received my first violation on August 31, 2012 and plead guilty"

I'll just note that "pleading guilty" sounds legal. So if you're going to take out the fact that your drinking was legal, (not advice I think agree with) I would avoid saying "pleaded guilty" or anything else that might make it sound like you committed a crime rather than violated university policy.