Top Law Schools

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Not bad.

Watch this semicolon:

"...; understanding that with every “A” I added to my transcript there was the hope that financial aid would be waiting for me when the journey was over."

Borderline, but not irredeemable:

"Then, in late 2006, my dad purchased the first home my family had owned in almost eight years. The suburban house in the quaint [Pleasantville] neighborhood seemed like the American Dream in brick and mortar form; but when the housing bubble burst in late 2007, it became apparent that the only thing that defines a dream is the moment that you are forced to wake up."

Far too general:

"As a student at Penn Law, I believe that the experiences that I have overcome have given me a strong perspective and developed both my convictions and drive."

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I really like it. I echo the semicolon comment.

I would definitely use this for UCLA. This is why they have these essays in place. This essay tells me something that would not be apparent on the rest of your application.

I dig it.

This was really well-written and interesting to read. I'm not sure if you were restricted by a word limit, but it'd be good if you could provide more details about challenges created by your family's economic situation that you faced while you were trying to succeed in high school & college (ex. study environment, transportation to school).

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