Need feedback on PS
Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:27 pm
Hi everyone. Can I get some feedback on my personal statement?
My life changed in June of 2008 when I was awoken by a phone call with an Ohio area code. I first began my political career in February of 2008 with volunteering with the Barack Obama team during the Texas Primary. Little did I know, my hard work to organize Austin had gotten me recognized by the national team.
I picked up the phone; "This is Katy" I answered a bit confused as to who was on the other side. "Good Morning Katy, this is Brynne from the Ohio for Obama Campaign. I'd like to offer you a position on Senator Barack Obama's field team here in Ohio." And like that, I took the plunge into a new world I had never been in before. At 20 years old, I hugged my mom and dad goodbye and drove up to Cleveland, Ohio to work for then Senator Barack Obama's campaign for President.
It wasn't that I was living outside Texas for the first time and jumping into a tireless work environment or staying up late doing homework to send to my professor so I could receive college credit, but it was the characteristics that working on a campaign brought out that existed inside me my whole life. Three words: adaptability, independence and perseverance became the characteristics that defined who I was. Since 2008, I have applied these three characteristics to every aspect of my life; whether it be in my professional and academic career or in my personal life, I have done what I can to become fiercely independent and show tireless endurance to any challenge presented to me.
When I returned to Texas in November of 2008, I came back renewed, ready to face anything in front of me and correct weaknesses that could hold me back, such as my first year as an undergraduate. In my first year as an undergraduate, I found myself lost in the classroom, as the grades which have left their visible scars on my transcript. But as someone who is unwavering in her dedication to hard work, I joined many study groups, attended every test review, and drove my professors crazy by visiting every office hours opportunity available. In fact, I'm convinced there was at least one professor who reduced his office hours schedule to avoid me going over yet another assignment. And as a result of my endurance and dedication, I graduated with a GPA I could be proud of, as my GPA improved from a 1.33 my first semester to a 3.1.
Upon graduation, 2010, like so many other undergraduates, I found myself yet again thrown out into real world, waiting tables at the local Chili's Bar and Grill but hopeful that a job opportunity was around the corner. I had stuffed my resume full of internships and extracurricular so I would be a viable candidate in the jobs market. So of course, regardless of the economy, I would get a job with no problem. Over 150 applications, resumes and cover letters later, I was offered my first position as a Legislative Director with a State Representative within the Texas House; even though I had very little training in drafting and vetting legislation. Regardless of my lack of experience, I learned to adapt and pick up the legislative process as quickly as possible. In a matter of weeks, I put a team in place and established new systems that allowed us to pass more bills than any other of the 150 members of the Legislature and while facing the challenges of billions in budgets cuts and political stalemate.
As a candidate to your law school, I could tell you about my resume and why that makes me a viable candidate to your law school, or I could write about what kind of law I would like to practice. But you have seen my resume, and let's be honest, the chances of me knowing what type of law I'm going to practice will probably change over the course of law school.
The truth is and what I hope you will walk away with is that I've been training for law school since I was able to say, "Mom it's just not fair"; which is why she's told me throughout the years I would make a great lawyer. My experiences in college and my career choices have helped me hone the skills I need to get through law school; but more importantly my experiences have proven and sharpened the characteristics I have which are necessary for survival in law school. It is my endurance, my refusal to give up and ability to adapt to any situation which makes me a viable candidate to your law school; for it is these characteristics that (blank law school) not only teach but possess as well.
My life changed in June of 2008 when I was awoken by a phone call with an Ohio area code. I first began my political career in February of 2008 with volunteering with the Barack Obama team during the Texas Primary. Little did I know, my hard work to organize Austin had gotten me recognized by the national team.
I picked up the phone; "This is Katy" I answered a bit confused as to who was on the other side. "Good Morning Katy, this is Brynne from the Ohio for Obama Campaign. I'd like to offer you a position on Senator Barack Obama's field team here in Ohio." And like that, I took the plunge into a new world I had never been in before. At 20 years old, I hugged my mom and dad goodbye and drove up to Cleveland, Ohio to work for then Senator Barack Obama's campaign for President.
It wasn't that I was living outside Texas for the first time and jumping into a tireless work environment or staying up late doing homework to send to my professor so I could receive college credit, but it was the characteristics that working on a campaign brought out that existed inside me my whole life. Three words: adaptability, independence and perseverance became the characteristics that defined who I was. Since 2008, I have applied these three characteristics to every aspect of my life; whether it be in my professional and academic career or in my personal life, I have done what I can to become fiercely independent and show tireless endurance to any challenge presented to me.
When I returned to Texas in November of 2008, I came back renewed, ready to face anything in front of me and correct weaknesses that could hold me back, such as my first year as an undergraduate. In my first year as an undergraduate, I found myself lost in the classroom, as the grades which have left their visible scars on my transcript. But as someone who is unwavering in her dedication to hard work, I joined many study groups, attended every test review, and drove my professors crazy by visiting every office hours opportunity available. In fact, I'm convinced there was at least one professor who reduced his office hours schedule to avoid me going over yet another assignment. And as a result of my endurance and dedication, I graduated with a GPA I could be proud of, as my GPA improved from a 1.33 my first semester to a 3.1.
Upon graduation, 2010, like so many other undergraduates, I found myself yet again thrown out into real world, waiting tables at the local Chili's Bar and Grill but hopeful that a job opportunity was around the corner. I had stuffed my resume full of internships and extracurricular so I would be a viable candidate in the jobs market. So of course, regardless of the economy, I would get a job with no problem. Over 150 applications, resumes and cover letters later, I was offered my first position as a Legislative Director with a State Representative within the Texas House; even though I had very little training in drafting and vetting legislation. Regardless of my lack of experience, I learned to adapt and pick up the legislative process as quickly as possible. In a matter of weeks, I put a team in place and established new systems that allowed us to pass more bills than any other of the 150 members of the Legislature and while facing the challenges of billions in budgets cuts and political stalemate.
As a candidate to your law school, I could tell you about my resume and why that makes me a viable candidate to your law school, or I could write about what kind of law I would like to practice. But you have seen my resume, and let's be honest, the chances of me knowing what type of law I'm going to practice will probably change over the course of law school.
The truth is and what I hope you will walk away with is that I've been training for law school since I was able to say, "Mom it's just not fair"; which is why she's told me throughout the years I would make a great lawyer. My experiences in college and my career choices have helped me hone the skills I need to get through law school; but more importantly my experiences have proven and sharpened the characteristics I have which are necessary for survival in law school. It is my endurance, my refusal to give up and ability to adapt to any situation which makes me a viable candidate to your law school; for it is these characteristics that (blank law school) not only teach but possess as well.