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To Whom It May Concern:
In 2002, upon graduating high school, I was given the classic ultimatum by my father—go to school or get a job. At that time, I did not want to go to school, but I dreaded the idea of getting a real job. Reluctantly, I chose the former and enrolled in a local community college. From 2002 to 2005 I hid in the community college system, until I got sick of pretending and stopped going to class all together. It wasn’t until 2008 that I decided I actually wanted an education and enrolled at the University of Phoenix, it took a struggling economy and a few life lessons to mature and realize what I wanted for myself. I attended University of Phoenix from 2008 to 2011 and earned a 3.4 in Accounting; therefore, I do not believe my 2.93 GPA is indicative of my abilities or commitment to my academic career. In addition, in 2009 I started my own business and became a father. Further, in my final semester at the University my GPA dropped below 3.0 for the first time since 2005. Due to the fact I doubled up my course load in order to graduate in spring of 2011, and was working close to 12 hours a day during income tax season. I am thankful for the events that have occurred in my life so far, as I have been taught many great, humbling life lessons that cannot be expressed by any grade format. Naturally, there has been an acclimation period, and I have since learned to better manage my many responsibilities and can confidently say these items will not be of any issue in law school. By no means do I wish to excuse myself for my GPA; rather, I would like to take the opportunity to make the committee aware of the extenuating circumstances in order to properly portray my true academic potential.

No. Dial back the drama.

I'm not sure saying you hated community college, so you enrolled at a for-profit 'college', is a great excuse. Say something else.

2LT_CPG wrote:I'm not sure saying you hated community college, so you enrolled at a for-profit 'college', is a great excuse. Say something else.

I'm trying to bring attention to the fact my 2.93 is not a good indicator of my abilities. I did earn a 3.4 during my 4 years at UoP, just want them to understand my GPA is dropping due to 2 early years at a junior college. You think I shouldn't write anything and let the academic report speak for itself? They should see the gap in time and gpa between the two schools.

richalvarez wrote:

2LT_CPG wrote:I'm not sure saying you hated community college, so you enrolled at a for-profit 'college', is a great excuse. Say something else.

I'm trying to bring attention to the fact my 2.93 is not a good indicator of my abilities. I did earn a 3.4 during my 4 years at UoP, just want them to understand my GPA is dropping due to 2 early years at a junior college. You think I shouldn't write anything and let the academic report speak for itself? They should see the gap in time and gpa between the two schools.

Not what I was saying. Instead of indelicately saying you 'got sick of community college' you should carefully explain why those grades were low - working full time, family obligations, etc. Because the way you have it written now, it comes off as this: "My dad made me stay at home against my will, so I begrudgingly went to junior college, which I hated and where skipped class all the time. So instead of dealing with my academic issues, I dropped out of real college and enrolled at a for-profit degree mill that would give me a degree and a high GPA regardless of the work I produced."

Not saying that's what happened, but that's how it could be read as. I'd drop all references to University of Phoenix. Focus on explaining the low GPA at junior college and make the admissions committees make the cognitive leap.

I wouldn't write anything. you'll be admitted to a school that accepts people with your GPA/LSAT and any other pertinent characteristics, but nothing you write is going to change your GPA or what they think of your academic ability.

2LT_CPG wrote:

richalvarez wrote:

2LT_CPG wrote:I'm not sure saying you hated community college, so you enrolled at a for-profit 'college', is a great excuse. Say something else.

I'm trying to bring attention to the fact my 2.93 is not a good indicator of my abilities. I did earn a 3.4 during my 4 years at UoP, just want them to understand my GPA is dropping due to 2 early years at a junior college. You think I shouldn't write anything and let the academic report speak for itself? They should see the gap in time and gpa between the two schools.

Not what I was saying. Instead of indelicately saying you 'got sick of community college' you should carefully explain why those grades were low - working full time, family obligations, etc. Because the way you have it written now, it comes off as this: "My dad made me stay at home against my will, so I begrudgingly went to junior college, which I hated and where skipped class all the time. So instead of dealing with my academic issues, I dropped out of real college and enrolled at a for-profit degree mill that would give me a degree and a high GPA regardless of the work I produced."

Not saying that's what happened, but that's how it could be read as. I'd drop all references to University of Phoenix. Focus on explaining the low GPA at junior college and make the admissions committees make the cognitive leap.

+1

And by University of Phoenix do you mean the online school?

Flips88 wrote:And by University of Phoenix do you mean the online school?

no. I attended a ground campus.

/

richalvarez wrote:

Flips88 wrote:And by University of Phoenix do you mean the online school?

no. I attended a ground campus.

But is it the same entity? If so, that doesn't make it sound much better than a community college.

Flips88 wrote:

richalvarez wrote:

Flips88 wrote:And by University of Phoenix do you mean the online school?

no. I attended a ground campus.

But is it the same entity? If so, that doesn't make it sound much better than a community college.

At this point, that doesn't matter much - he's graduated from the school, so he'll have to deal with any consequences that come from obtaining a degree from University of Phoenix.

As far as the addendum goes, you'll have to explain two things:
1) Why your GPA from CC was so low, and why that won't happen again.
2) Why your last semester was lower than the others, and why that won't happen again.

Your explanation for (1) might be difficult, as it sounds that you don't really have an excuse other than you were a poor/unmotivated student at the time. However, it has been several years since that experience, and you also have a record of a higher GPA. Focus on the time, but don't spend much time on this.

For (2), you definitely have mitigating circumstances (double course load, full-time work, new father); however, you should focus on why this won't happen again in law school. I guarantee you the course work at law school will be at least equivalent (if not more) than the double course load. Will you be working full-time while at law school? Presumably you'll still be a father. Convince me those won't be an issue for you at law school.

Also, while this addendum might help a bit, don't expect miracles. The time since the poor grades and your demonstrable maturity since then (father, full-time job) will help, but your GPA is still your GPA.

nope, nope, nope.

I wouldn't make an addendum at all. All of these things hint at immaturity, lack of ambition/focus, or inability to balance competing priorities. I'm not saying you have these things... I'm saying that it sounds like you do.

I don't see this helping.

stick to the facts, make it shorter and less flowery. it's already an interesting story. let it tell itself

Most important edit, in my mind, is to get rid of these sentences:
"In 2002, upon graduating high school, I was given the classic ultimatum by my father—go to school or get a job. At that time, I did not want to go to school, but I dreaded the idea of getting a real job."

An ultimatum is usually a fairly extreme decision that someone forces upon you, like, "Go to college or I will disown you." By calling your father's request that you do anything at all with your life an "ultimatum," you risk them thinking you still consider it an unreasonable/extreme request on his part. And I really do not think the fact that you were once so set on sitting around for a few years is going to reflect well on you, no matter how far in the past it is.

Also, have someone edit it for grammar and style.

too much. Especially by starting off by saying "you dreaded actually getting a real job" on the beginning just comes off weird imo.