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I'm sure there's probably a thread for this already, but my professor asked me for an outline of what I wanted to her say and I wanted see if people had some ideas or if this is even ethical.

It's certainly ethical to tell her what topics you would like her to cover.

There are samples of good letters of recommendation in the Anna Ivey book. Why not give her copies of those and try to get her to produce something similar? They seemed like very good LORs to me.