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thanks

Professor LORs are preferred. An employer LOR is a nice addition, but if they aren't willing to write one for you, don't do it. I don't know how, but people claim they can tell when an LOR is written by the candidate, and it's frowned upon.

Tough call. I would let him know that adcomms can tell a lot of times when it is written by the applicant. TBH, if he really liked you (as he should since you're asking him for a LOR), then he shouldn't have a problem writing the letter himself.

Standard advice is to find someone else if they don't want to write it.

If your selling your work experience and maturity as part of your application package, then I would include an LOR from either that employer or one of your previous employers along with (read: not instead of) an academic LOR.

For schools that called for three LOR's, I used two academic ones (from former profs who knew me well) and one from my current employer. I felt it helped bridge the gap since I have been out of school for five years. All told, I had a pretty good cycle, so I it seems my approach worked well.