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Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:55 pm
by emmbar53
Okay, I am bored, so here is my prediction/explanation for where Zack Morris would have gone to law school had he decided to do so.

Vital facts:

UG Institution: Cal U. Seems to be roughly equivalent to Cal-Berkeley, though this is certainly up for debate. Some may argue that Zack would have been unable to get in at Berkeley given his low high school GPA. So, this might just be a different Cal school.

LSAT: Well, he got a 1502 on the SAT with little to no preparation. Assuming he got serious and studied a bit for the LSAT, I trust he could have performed exceptionally. I am tentatively putting him at a 172.

UG GPA: This is a tough one. It seems that Zack took college more seriously than he did high school. We know he got an 'A' in his Ethics class (taught by Benson), because he wouldn't cheat on the exam. I also gotta assume he leveraged his knowledge of Professor Laskey's affair with Kelly ( a student) to a guaranteed A in any anthropology course Zack took with him. So, I am going to throw an estimate of 3.60 out there. Even though Zack took UG more seriously than HS, he still kept quite a social life. I mean he was willing to take an impromptu ski trip one weekend in the hopes of gaining carnal knowledge of Leslie.

Extracurriculars: It seems that most of Zack's EC's came from high school, and he had minimal participation in UG. This is gonna hurt his application. He is not going to be able to list all of his HS involvement. A partial list would have included basketball team, baseball team, cross country team, track team, swimming team, school plays, school ballet, school radio, carnival planner, school dance coordinator, Junior ROTC, yearbook, temporary president of student council, glee club, manager of school store, manager of Miss Bayside (Screech), manager of Hot Sundae, quiz bowl participant, Miss Liberty Pageant judge, and appeared in an anti-drug commercial for NBC.

Work experience: Malibu Sands Beach Club. Also, countless start-up businesses, including selling zit cream, spaghetti sauce, swimsuit calendars, friendship bracelets, and advice through Teen Line. Furthermore, Zack won a few Grammies as the lead singer of Zack Attack (though this may have been a dream).

URM status: Zack is part Native American.

Personal Statement fodder: delivered his principal's wife's baby in a broken elevator, comes from a broken home, helped end a teacher's strike, participates in a sit-down protest in support of Latin American studies at Cal U, helped stopped Bayside from turning into a site for oil drilling.

LOR's: I'm thinking he gets one from Benson and one from Laskey.

Addenda: Zack would seemingly need many addenda to cover all of his residence hall violations during UG. For example, he hosted a rave, he ran a poker game, and he hid a monkey in his room. He also posed as a professor to date the dean's daughter. Because of this, I am going to rule out any school that requires a dean's certification (goodbye Yale and Stanford).

Geographic concerns: Would probably want to stay on the west coast, as he is married and both he and his wife have the bulk of their families in California.

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Cliff Notes version:
GPA: 3.60
LSAT: 172
URM: Yes, Native American


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With all this in mind, I am putting Zack in at Cal-Berkeley with a 1/2 scholarship. The GPA is a bit low, BUT his URM status and work experience/EC's more than make up for that.

Any thoughts?

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:56 pm
by lolschool2011
law.pepperdine.edu

/thread

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:56 pm
by bk1
There is this thing called the Lounge. It's where shit threads like this are supposed to go.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:57 pm
by Bildungsroman

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:59 pm
by ausoccer19

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:00 pm
by Kilpatrick
Since 1502 was an impossible to get SAT score I think it's obvious Zack would've gotten a 181 on the LSAT.

IBmovetothelounge

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:01 pm
by Verity
Zack wouldn't just go to law school. He would forge a Yale transcript and leapfrog from M&A at Skadden to I-banking at Goldman.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:09 pm
by 2011Law
I mean, I watched Saved by the Bell as much as the next guy back in the day, but Jesus. Did you buy the series on dvd and watch it annually so as not to forget any of it?

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:10 pm
by cinephile
I feel like Zack's been arrested at least once as well.

Also, very impressed by your SBTB knowledge. Did you just come off a SBTB marathon?

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:43 pm
by gens1tb
Princeton law.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:05 pm
by Verity
This thread is pointless. Zack would never go to law school, or want to be a lawyer. You have to follow too many rules as a lawyer, you have to be too ethical. Plus, it's not that exciting. Zack is a natural B-school candidate. He'd go into I-banking or venture capital (he even tries to network with I-bankers at that party thrown during that college-years episode). He's a wheeler-dealer. He's a schemer, an entrepreneur. He's always trying to turn a profit, to turn a seemingly disconnected set of events into a huge payday. He's meant for Wall Street.

Now only if he could rid himself of that plague of a friend Screech.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:26 pm
by 8ballistic
But Screech would have been a dot-com millionaire.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:50 pm
by ryegye87
Vital Information:

Firstly, although Zack went to Cal U, let's not forget that he actually got admitted to Yale for undergrad. Thus, I would likely raise that GPA substantially. It's never discussed on why he ended up going to Cal U after being admitted to Yale, but I'm likely guessing it had something to do with Kelly.

Also, Zack Morris would definitely become a lawyer. How do I know this? Because he DID: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001558/

My guess: Zack has Professor Lasky contact a friend of his in admissions at YLS, gets in, and makes up for never going there for undergrad. Also, because he goes to Yale, he likely gets out and goes into academia/teaching only to run into a young scallion by the name of Mack Zorris, thus completing the circle of SBTB.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:37 am
by Verity
ryegye87 wrote:Also, Zack Morris would definitely become a lawyer. How do I know this? Because he DID: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001558/
Mark-Paul Gosselaar is probably fucking sick of people like you confusing him with Zack, let alone Zack with every character he'll ever play.
ryegye87 wrote:Also, because he goes to Yale, he likely gets out and goes into academia/teaching only to run into a young scallion by the name of Mack Zorris, thus completing the circle of SBTB.
We better call on Brandon Tartikoff to turn this musing into a sitcom.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:33 am
by parsi
Kilpatrick wrote:Since 1502 was an impossible to get SAT score I think it's obvious Zack would've gotten a 181 on the LSAT.

IBmovetothelounge
......I think you are mistaken.

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:38 am
by Kilpatrick
parsi wrote:
Kilpatrick wrote:Since 1502 was an impossible to get SAT score I think it's obvious Zack would've gotten a 181 on the LSAT.

IBmovetothelounge
......I think you are mistaken.
About this going to the lounge? I guess so

Re: Where would Zack Morris have gone to law school?

Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:35 pm
by Verity
bumped

ZACK IS BACK:



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