Critique my Resume PLEASE! Forum

[rbarcelo9]

Obviously the formatting is a little off because its not in the original Word doc. but as far as content is this okay? Should I include more, take anything off? Thanks in advance!




EDUCATION
Florida State University, Tallahassee, FL
Bachelor of Science, May 2010
Double Major: Criminology, Political Science
Overall GPA: 3.76

WORK EXPERIENCE
Intern, Innocence Project of Florida May 2009 – Present Tallahassee, FL
- Contact inmates and locate evidence, evidence lists, police reports, lab reports, and trial transcripts
- Review trial transcripts, and compose a transcript summary
- Draft memorandums and prepare presentations for legal staff

Video Technician, Florida State University Athletics October 2007 – Present Tallahassee, FL
- Assist coaches with audio/video problems or malfunctions
- Record and edit video from practice/games for FSU football, baseball, softball, and soccer

Customer Service/ Data Entry Clerk, ADPI Intermedix Summers 2006, 2007, 2008 Miami, FL
- Review customer accounts regarding medical and health insurance
- Assist in training new employees
- Perform basic duties for and personally assist regional manager

HONORS
Member of National Society of Collegiate Scholars, 2007 – Present
Member of Golden Key International Honor Society, 2008 – Present
Presidents List, Summer 2009, Spring 2010
Dean’s List, 6 semesters

LANGUAGES
Proficient in Spanish

EXTRA CURRICULAR
Florida State University Ultimate Frisbee Club
Member 2006 – 2011
Vice President 2008 – 2011

- Attend Sport Club Council meetings monthly
- Attend weekly team meetings, discussing budgeting, fundraising, tournaments, sponsorship and community service
- Practice four times weekly for a total of 15 hours a week
- Run and coordinate events involving up to 32 collegiate teams

[slamp]

After briefly scanning, you should:
change to past tense for everything under Customer Service/Data Entry Clerk

expand on "Proficient" in regards to Spanish (sounds like you can read/speak some Spanish currently)

correct spelling "President's" List

[Snoring Meatball]

Intern, Innocence Project of Florida May 2009 – Present Tallahassee, FL
- Contact inmates and locate evidence, evidence lists, police reports, lab reports, and trial transcripts
- Review trial transcripts, and compose a transcript summary
- Draft memorandums and prepare presentations for legal staff


I would try to expand a bit on that section and list any accomplishments instead of duties. What type of memoranda? What goes into drafting them? Just a little more since it's your most recent experience.

[Wannabelawyer101]

I think you need to emphasize your achievements more. For example, you reviewed trial transcripts and composed a summary? That's great, but what impact did the finished product have? Show the results. You have some great stuff on your resume and I think you can amplify it just a little bit more. Feel free to PM me if you have more specific ?s.