Page 1 of 1
Please read my addendum!
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:29 pm
by screechypeachy
During my time in the military I took a number of classes including some online business classes as well as Oracle database classes that were a non-optional job requirement. In regards to my Colorado Technical University classes, I feel that the stress of coming back from a recent deployment coupled with training exercises and more than full-time employment led to my low GPA for that period. It was a mistake to undertake classes at that period in my life as I quickly found that I did not have the time necessary to dedicate to them. I hope that the 4.0 GPA that I have achieved at the University of Illinois at Chicago in over 90 credit hours of study is what is considered when deciding on my application. Additionally, at the end of this term my cumulative GPA should be at over 3.7 and I would gladly send evidence of this at a later date if necessary.
Re: Please read my addendum!
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:26 pm
by ahduth
Please add at least a half a dozen commas and repost.
Re: Please read my addendum!
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:35 pm
by CanadianWolf
Too long.
CONSIDER: While in the military, I took several online business courses as well as some Oracle database classes. My coursework at Colorado Technical University was undertaken during a stressful readjustment period after returning from combat duty. Please note that I currently have a 4.0 GPA for over 90 credit hours earned at the University of Illinois at Chicago resulting in a cumulative GPA in excess of 3.7.
(Although my suggested revision is not perfect, it should be an improvement. It is not clear as to whether or not the online courses, the
Oracle courses & the Colorado Tech courses are included in your cumulative GPA. Were the Colorado Tech courses the "online business courses" referred to in your first sentence ?)
Re: Please read my addendum!
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:55 pm
by Spinozist21
CanadianWolf wrote:Too long.
CONSIDER: While in the military, I took several online business courses as well as some Oracle database classes. My coursework at Colorado Technical University was undertaken during a stressful readjustment period after returning from combat duty. Please note that I currently have a 4.0 GPA for over 90 credit hours earned at the University of Illinois at Chicago resulting in a cumulative GPA in excess of 3.7.
(Although my suggested revision is not perfect, it should be an improvement. It is not clear as to whether or not the online courses, the
Oracle courses & the Colorado Tech courses are included in your cumulative GPA. Were the Colorado Tech courses the "online business courses" referred to in your first sentence ?)
This.
Re: Please read my addendum!
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:14 pm
by nihilism is key
CanadianWolf wrote:Too long.
CONSIDER: While in the military, I took several online business courses as well as some Oracle database classes. My coursework at Colorado Technical University was undertaken during a stressful readjustment period after returning from combat duty. Please note that I currently have a 4.0 GPA for over 90 credit hours earned at the University of Illinois at Chicago resulting in a cumulative GPA in excess of 3.7.
(Although my suggested revision is not perfect, it should be an improvement. It is not clear as to whether or not the online courses, the
Oracle courses & the Colorado Tech courses are included in your cumulative GPA. Were the Colorado Tech courses the "online business courses" referred to in your first sentence ?)
I would include the part about the Oracle courses being a non-optional job requirement.