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Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!
Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:21 pm
by lafemmeriante
I feel like it's a little lacking in voice, and I don't know how to end it. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!
[EDIT: removed Addendum]
Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!
Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:42 pm
by bjc314
I think the biggest problem is that you take no responsibility whatsoever. Regardless of whether or not you feel you were guilty of any wrongdoing, you plead guilty, and I don't think it will go over well to use the phrase "allegedly" and to treat the incident in such a perfunctory manner. You need to explain why you regret what you "allegedly" did, what you learned from it, and why it will not happen again.
Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!
Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:40 pm
by lafemmeriante
(bump)
Anyone else?
Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!
Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 1:44 pm
by asoli
Yeah, I read this as "Here's what I got caught doing, but hey I have not been caught since." They want to read why it was a mistake and that it won't happen again. Maybe take about the experience of rehab and how you've changed for the better?
Re: Critique my Criminal Addendum, please!
Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:52 pm
by lafemmeriante
XXX