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Takes too long to get to the point. Doesn't really say much about you other than that you are a first gen high school graduate and college student. You don't show the reader how that is personal to you.

HopefullyLaw wrote:I realize how great my chances for success truly are. I wish to utilize a law degree to show all children how determination and joy in learning translates into overcoming any legacy of hardship.

This shows why you want to be a teacher, not a lawyer. Which is my main problem. The evidence does not support a law path, it supports an education path so that you can "show all children" and convey "joy in learning."

I agree with bk187. It does not do a good job of showing how you would add to the diversity of the school. I think being gay is a much better topic for the diversity statement.

I think a DS about SES and/or first gen high school and college grad has potential, it just needs to be written well. You don't necessarily need to write about being gay, though either are options for you.

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SES = socioeconomic status

You realize most DS's are about a page in length?

bk187 wrote:You realize most DS's are about a page in length?

What he said.

Also, you make a weird transition for no reason from 1st generation college student to gay. This isn't a personal statement about gay rights activism... It's a diversity statement to explain how being a 1st gen, and a homosexual, has had an effect on you and your life.

Look into the length recommendation for whatever law school your applying to. If it really is a paragraph, just choose one thing and stick to it... otherwise it just looks very odd... "I was underprivileged! Did I mention this had something to do with me being gay? I'm diverse!"

You're making a good step by focusing less on your parents though. It's more about how their circumstances affect you.

You realize most DS's are about a page in length?

Sorry in advance for a dumb question, but is the one page single spaced or double spaced? Thanks

tbldc2009 wrote:

You realize most DS's are about a page in length?

Sorry in advance for a dumb question, but is the one page single spaced or double spaced? Thanks

Double spaced generally, but read the instructions on each of the application forms for specifics.