Hows 1L Living With a S.O. Forum

[rundoxierun]

It looks like it... but I kicked ass in the big leagues, the only one I'm worried about is losing her to Tom Emanski...



IRL there won't be any roomates, two of us, her working, me studying.

Have you two discussed schools yet?? My gf and I have been having some major arguments over this.. she is the idealistic music major and wants to live in a big city, preferably out East. I, on the other hand, like colleges with actual campuses and want to avoid NYC like the plague. Basically we came to the conclusion that unless I go to Harvard, NYU, Columbia, UChicago, or UPenn we will be looking at a nasty breakup talk.

[Rocketman11]

Have you two discussed schools yet?? My gf and I have been having some major arguments over this.. she is the idealistic music major and wants to live in a big city, preferably out East. I, on the other hand, like colleges with actual campuses and want to avoid NYC like the plague. Basically we came to the conclusion that unless I go to Harvard, NYU, Columbia, UChicago, or UPenn we will be looking at a nasty breakup talk.

music/theater majors are never worth it anyway.

[romothesavior]

*Srs advice alert*

OP, only do this if you have made it VERY VERY clear to your SO that you are going to have to make a huge time commitment to LS and that she may feel neglected. Make sure she has other people to hang out with and other outlets for entertainment and socialization. If she is sitting around the apartment bored all day by herself, she may turn into one of those so called "loose women" or break things off with you.

[rundoxierun]

Have you two discussed schools yet?? My gf and I have been having some major arguments over this.. she is the idealistic music major and wants to live in a big city, preferably out East. I, on the other hand, like colleges with actual campuses and want to avoid NYC like the plague. Basically we came to the conclusion that unless I go to Harvard, NYU, Columbia, UChicago, or UPenn we will be looking at a nasty breakup talk.

music/theater majors are never worth it anyway.

Well they are when their dad works in an actual growing field(venture capital in medical devices/technology) and has the connections to get u a job..

[Fred_McGriff]

*Srs advice alert*

OP, only do this if you have made it VERY VERY clear to your SO that you are going to have to make a huge time commitment to LS and that she may feel neglected. Make sure she has other people to hang out with and other outlets for entertainment and socialization. If she is sitting around the apartment bored all day by herself, she may turn into one of those so called "loose women" or break things off with you.

Great advice, I really appreciate it. She's not the type that I worry about having too much time on her hands, she's got a great degree / job prospects anywhere in the country and has a sweet hobby that connects her to lots of local people. I think erring on the side of clarity is my best bet.

[Rocketman11]

has a sweet hobby that connects her to lots of local people.

you're going to move in with a craigslist hooker?

[DoubleChecks]

has a sweet hobby that connects her to lots of local people.

you're going to move in with a craigslist hooker?

i think they liked to be addressed by the title "Masseuse"

[dresden doll]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

[dominkay]

I'll be living with my S.O., but we've already spent a year living together. It's been really great, but there was definitely some adjusting involved at first. I would be wary about moving in with someone for the first time as you start 1L, because you'll have enough on your mind/plate anyhow. Just my two cents.

I completely agree. This is a terrible idea. The stress of 1L combined with the stress of living with someone for the first time might ruin both your relationship and your law school GPA.

Personally, my boyfriend and I have been living together for a few years, and I completely adore him. I suspect that we're probably going to be doing the long-distance thing during 1L, and I actually think that will be a good thing, because I will get to concentrate more on work.

[dominkay]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

[paratactical]

.

[BriaTharen]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

Because people actually do this- don't combine bank accounts. That is a terrible idea. Settle money (housekeeping responsibilities, utilities, etc) like you would with a roommate. You just happen to bang said roommate.

[romothesavior]

*Srs advice alert*

OP, only do this if you have made it VERY VERY clear to your SO that you are going to have to make a huge time commitment to LS and that she may feel neglected. Make sure she has other people to hang out with and other outlets for entertainment and socialization. If she is sitting around the apartment bored all day by herself, she may turn into one of those so called "loose women" or break things off with you.

Great advice, I really appreciate it. She's not the type that I worry about having too much time on her hands, she's got a great degree / job prospects anywhere in the country and has a sweet hobby that connects her to lots of local people. I think erring on the side of clarity is my best bet.

Sounds like it is a fine plan then. Bolded is very true. Just be clear and up front, and I think you'll be fine.

[dominkay]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

Because people actually do this- don't combine bank accounts. That is a terrible idea. Settle money (housekeeping responsibilities, utilities, etc) like you would with a roommate. You just happen to bang said roommate.

Sometimes people fight about money with their roommates. Banging your roommate makes those fights more complicated.

[dominkay]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

I've lived with two of my SOs and the arguments have never been about money or housekeeping.

Well, aren't you special! What were the arguments about?

[Rocketman11]

dominkay are you physically attractive? and where are you going to LS this fall?

thanks

[HBK]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

Because people actually do this- don't combine bank accounts. That is a terrible idea. Settle money (housekeeping responsibilities, utilities, etc) like you would with a roommate. You just happen to bang said roommate.

A full combination of finances is definitely bad. My fiancee and I make about the same amount of money, so we direct deposit the same amount each pay check into an operating account. Operating account pays for groceries, rent, utilities, and miscellaneous things.

We maintain our own separate accounts for meals, clothes, etc. Works like a charm.

For LS, I'll have to figure out my monthly contribution, and will probably keep that in a separate account and set monthly auto transfers to my personal bank account and the operating account.

Lessons learned from years in business.

[legalease9]

So long as she's happy living where you are going to law school, do it! Look at it this way, if you and your SO can still tolerate eachother after Law school, you will know she's the one!

I don't know why people are saying long distance is the answer. While long distance could slightly help your GPA by increasing focus, it will become exponentially more likely that your relationship burns in flames. More temptation to cheat (because you aren't getting any), combined with much less interaction = disaster!

And at the end of your life, which will matter more? Your loved ones, or your GPA.

[dresden doll]

Awesome, if the relationship is in a good place and your SO is supportive and understanding.

Horrible, if the relationship in in a bad place and your SO is emotionally unstable and needy.

Breaking news at 11, I know.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Moving in together can be rough even if your relationship is awesome, especially if you do it after the initial OMG SO IN LOVE OMG period has passed. 1L is not the time to be fighting about money or each other's odd housekeeping habits.

Since my personal experience - which, ftr, took place right after I graduated from UG as opposed to during 1L - confirms this fully, I can't argue with your counterpoint.

[romothesavior]

dominkay are you physically attractive? and where are you going to LS this fall?

thanks

That's a self-tar, I think.

[iShotFirst]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

[kalvano]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

To be fair, there is a big difference between maintaining a relationship during 1L and moving in together for the first time during 1L.

[Rocketman11]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

[legalease9]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

[12262010]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

getting this as a rug