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After LeBron James signs with the New York Knickerbockers tomorrow night, many fans will be celebrating in the streets of New York City. Not I. I have suffered many years and have had my heart and passion taken from me over the last decade of total suckiness. So many night I could not perform the duties of passionate love making because i was too devastated from the evenings collapse by the New York Knicks. This organization has taken too much from me, and while other fans will be rejoicing in the streets, I will start taking back. Yes, I will be strategizing. LeBron James is coming to the Mecca of basketball, NYC. And I also happen to be an incoming 1L at St. Johns in that Mecca. I have a three stage plan, and while I do not want to disclose too much information it includes the fact that NYC also happens to be the Mecca of women, the Mecca of HUSTLIN' (which I do Evrrry Day!), and endless opportunities for networking.

I plan on becoming the personal lawyer to Sir King LeBron James.

TLS, I know my ambitions are grand. However, I ask for your cooperation in giving me success stories of the past, where lawyers have become personal servants of the law to the elite human beings which roam our dear earth. I expect this information to come in mostly article form, from magazines such as Life and Time, but anecdoctes are also welcome, as brainstorming of any kind.

Thank you, future magistrates and noblemen, for your suggestions.

Google Gerry Spence.

computers on the psych ward, who knew?

Eh, I cracked a smile.

plus

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then go back 20 years and befriend a bunch of elite human beings. Oh yeah, and then....retake

I did, that's why I recommend he familiarize himself with Gerry Spence. He might need him some day.

You can have LeBron.

LeBron has a lawyer. His name is Fred Nance. He has an impressive resume. Harvard then Michigan law, a senior partner at Squire, Sanders and Dempsey (V100, one of the biggest/most respected Cleveland firms), finalist for NFL commissioner at one point, has acted as counsel to the city of Cleveland and the Cleveland Browns.