So...who's planning a wedding and going to law school? Forum

[as stars burn]

When the time is right (which will be WELL past the age of 30) and I find the right girl, I'm eloping.

Forget the bickering over the size of the ceremony, invite list, cost of the reception, and the long, 300 page list of other things you have to bicker over.

sorry to break it to you, but it will be her choice whether to elope or not. she may well want to, but shes going to have the final say. believe me. but for your sake, hopefully the right girl wants to elope.

There's no way in hell I'm footing the $30k+ bill for a 3 hour wedding at the end of which everyone's going to be too drunk to remember. If she wants to foot the entire bill, that's fine by me. Plus, weddings are overrated.

I'll go along with anything she wants......as long as she's paying. Golden Rule #1: He (or she) who shall be stuck with the bill shall at all times have the final say.

I'm doing a lot of things myself: like invitations, save-the-dates, ect. and our wedding is going to be WAY UNDER (and I mean a lot under) $30k. If you're on the same page there should be minimal bickering. I'm pretty much planning most of the wedding and my fiance puts in his two cents when he feels like it, lol. It's really personal preference though--a lot of people elope nowadays. I've been with my fiance for almost 6 years (it'll be 7 by the time we get married) and to be surrounded by family and friends on one of the most important days of my life means a lot to me, which is how I justified a nice, intimate wedding.

[Shot007]

I seriously wonder though, is it better to get married in Law School or after Law School especially if you are considering BigLaw and everything that comes with that?

[kalvano]

For all of you planning this, keep this in mind. I was trying to plan and pay for our wedding. It got so frustrating that we semi-eloped.

It was cheaper to go to Vail, Colorado and have the damned Ritz-Carlton plan and host our wedding than it was to have it here in Dallas.

So if you get frustrated and want to escape, it may not be as expensive as you think.

[panadera]

I seriously wonder though, is it better to get married in Law School or after Law School especially if you are considering BigLaw and everything that comes with that?

Not even biglaw, any firm job is my wonder. Would a firm let me take off a week (without pay of course) right at the start, or six months after the hire date? What if I have a case, or a big client? Do you just move the wedding then?
*This is assuming I have a job (the obligatory ITE acknowledgment).

[sarahd]

Not a wedding, but will be planning my middle son's Bar Mitzvah. He becomes a Bar Mitzvah the first weekend in December this year, right at the beginning of finals. I get overwhelmed thinking about it, so I don't. I have a ton of stuff to do this summer to be sure everything is done, but I have already told family that they must help. I am getting a hotel room in town for finals so I can have a cave away from home, so that will be starting the Sunday after thanksgiving. For those who have not planned or had a bar or bat mitzvah, the planning is similar to a wedding, except instead of a bride, there is a hormonal, whiney 13 year old boy involved with planning a party for hundreds of guests while memorizing a 2 hour service in hebrew and writing a sermon. Fun!:P

[jks289]

I seriously wonder though, is it better to get married in Law School or after Law School especially if you are considering BigLaw and everything that comes with that?

Not even biglaw, any firm job is my wonder. Would a firm let me take off a week (without pay of course) right at the start, or six months after the hire date? What if I have a case, or a big client? Do you just move the wedding then?
*This is assuming I have a job (the obligatory ITE acknowledgment).

I work in a relatively demanding field now. You just set priorities and work life around it. I took a small amount of vacation for the wedding and while my employer was understanding, client deadlines didn't care about my personal life. So we had to defer our honeymoon for six months until things calmed down a bit. I'd imagine it is much the same way in a law firm. You just need to find a balance. You won't be the first or last person getting married, having children, needing to care for a sick relative etc. It isn't always pleasant and requires some compromise (My husband was not amused by me taking business calls on our two day "mini-moon") but it is doable.

[sky7]

I just finished my 2L year, and I'm getting married twice this summer. I think I win.

[094320]

..

[as stars burn]

I seriously wonder though, is it better to get married in Law School or after Law School especially if you are considering BigLaw and everything that comes with that?

I'm getting married IN law school. We've be planning for over a year...and it just worked out this way :)

[Mr. Pablo]

Not a wedding, but will be planning my middle son's Bar Mitzvah. He becomes a Bar Mitzvah the first weekend in December this year, right at the beginning of finals. I get overwhelmed thinking about it, so I don't. I have a ton of stuff to do this summer to be sure everything is done, but I have already told family that they must help. I am getting a hotel room in town for finals so I can have a cave away from home, so that will be starting the Sunday after thanksgiving. For those who have not planned or had a bar or bat mitzvah, the planning is similar to a wedding, except instead of a bride, there is a hormonal, whiney 13 year old boy involved with planning a party for hundreds of guests while memorizing a 2 hour service in hebrew and writing a sermon. Fun!:P

Does your kid's BM have a theme? Because if you're out on L.I. and your kid doesn't have a theme, I don't have to be Rabbi Gelmann to know its not going to go well. Keepin' up with the Feldmans.
/been to plenty of those.

[hannah87]

Not a wedding, but will be planning my middle son's Bar Mitzvah. He becomes a Bar Mitzvah the first weekend in December this year, right at the beginning of finals. I get overwhelmed thinking about it, so I don't. I have a ton of stuff to do this summer to be sure everything is done, but I have already told family that they must help. I am getting a hotel room in town for finals so I can have a cave away from home, so that will be starting the Sunday after thanksgiving. For those who have not planned or had a bar or bat mitzvah, the planning is similar to a wedding, except instead of a bride, there is a hormonal, whiney 13 year old boy involved with planning a party for hundreds of guests while memorizing a 2 hour service in hebrew and writing a sermon. Fun!:P

Does your kid's BM have a theme? Because if you're out on L.I. and your kid doesn't have a theme, I don't have to be Rabbi Gelmann to know its not going to go well. Keepin' up with the Feldmans.
/been to plenty of those.

haha. my brother's bar mitzvah theme was "jewish boy comes of age." it was really nice

good luck/mazel tov!

[SandyC877]

How can you guys afford a wedding, honeymoon, and housing on top of living a student life as 1L? I can see this happening if your parents forked up all your bills, but to an average middle class American, it seems financially impossible. Any tips?

[panadera]

How can you guys afford a wedding, honeymoon, and housing on top of living a student life as 1L? I can see this happening if your parents forked up all your bills, but to an average middle class American, it seems financially impossible. Any tips?

For the record, I haven't actually planned (and subsequently paid for) the wedding yet.

But like as stars burn said, lots of DYI (do-it-yourself), take a mini-moon (not a full-blown honeymoon) and really the smaller the guestlist, the smaller the budget. At least that's what the ladies at --LinkRemoved-- say. You could get money saving tips there. (There are some women who planned their weddings/honeymoons on a $1000 budget.)
I have some money in savings that I'm planning on not touching during law school to pay for what comes up.

(And for me, theknot is as addictive as tls, just be warned. )

[motiontodismiss]

How can you guys afford a wedding, honeymoon, and housing on top of living a student life as 1L? I can see this happening if your parents forked up all your bills, but to an average middle class American, it seems financially impossible. Any tips?

Debt, debt, and more debt. Especially of the credit card kind.

[as stars burn]

How can you guys afford a wedding, honeymoon, and housing on top of living a student life as 1L? I can see this happening if your parents forked up all your bills, but to an average middle class American, it seems financially impossible. Any tips?

We're avid savers! We don't even have cable right now! Not that I really care what's on TV anymore. My fiance has been able to put away more than half of his 55k/yr. salary in savings, and I've been able to save quite a bit of money too. I've done a lot of do-it-yourself projects as far as the wedding is concerned and we'll be able to keep the wedding below 14k with strategic planning and a small guest list. My parents are helping me with my dress and hair, but that's it. No credit card debt here. We're paying everything up front as it comes. I'm going to law school on a small scholarship, savings and some loans. My fiance will continue to work while I'm in school so it will ease the COL. I'm only taking out enough loans to pay for the rest of my tuition and books--the rest is coming from our savings and my fiance's salary.

Oh, and we're NOT going on a honeymoon. That's going to have wait a few years.

Also, theknot.com is addicting and it has helped me a lot. All of my vendors came from recommendations there.

[SandyC877]

Some of you girls are amazing. You'd postpone honeymoon vacation?? That's something unheard of around here. Girls dump their bfs if they can't get pampered.

[wizoz]

I'm already married (just a few months) but we didn't have a wedding yet. So, I'm planning
for the wedding. I'm not a girly girl so I don't want a wedding and I actually think it's a waste of money but he wants it. I don't even wear my engagement or wedding band. I like things really, really simple.

@sandyc877: we've yet to have our honeymoon! lol so i bailed on the wedding + the honeymoon. he spoils me rotten though and i think it's cause I ask him for nothing.

Edit: We married at the courthouse for free...a judge did it.

[pollaclc]

starting to plan the wedding - thinking the summer after 2L might be a good time

sure hope this MRS degree plan works out

congrats everyone

180. i've had an account on theknot.com since i was 13.

[clarinettedn06]

Hey! Gooluck to your wedding and Best wishes! anniversary invitations 50th

[0L Hoping for 1]

.

[hellokitty]

Jealous. Jealous. Jealous.

Not planning a wedding here obv. But I just thought I'd chime in and say congrats guys. And that I'm so jealous...

[ladyjane]

Planning a January 2012 wedding and a early summer 2012 honeymoon. Decided to delay the honeymoon so we could have an actual vacation not just a weekend trip. Delayed the wedding so I wasn't planning it my first year. He's a Ph.d student and I'm starting law school so school runs our lives right now.

As for how you pay for it, saving and budgeting and a long timeline to save some more...

[ozarkhack]

This seems like a good place to ask this (since my half-assed searches on TLS have turned up nothing) ...

After 5 years on foot-dragging, I'm proposing on Friday. SO's quitting her job (we've been out of UG for 5-7 years) to come with me across the country. If we hustled up and got married in the coming weeks, would SO qualify for unemployment benefits when she quits her job to follow me across the country?? We really hope it's a non-issue. But ... man. Anybody try to get a job lately? In California?!?

I know UI rules vary by state. But our state changed its UI law in 2009 to cover people who quit their jobs "because of a change in the location of the spouse's employment that makes it impractical to commute."

I'm re-locating for employment only in the very broadest sense (and not any sense, of course, that includes actually having a job). Is this too much of a stretch?? Can this work?

[ladyjane]

Ozark - Does she know the plan? Does she know that you are looking to get hitched ASAP or does she have her sights set on a larger wedding. Don't sacrifice your wedding for unemployment. And be prepared that she may not want to rush after five years of foot dragging.

[cardinalandgold]

We'll be getting married in early June. Hard to believe it's only a month away! After we get married, we're going to Italy for our honeymoon, and then moving across the country for law school. Good times!