Personal Statement Samples Forum

[ShelleyVA]

I feel like I know more about your grandmother than I do about you. It makes me want to admit her postumously. Nice ending para, but bythen I had forgotten we were talking about you.

Ya, I realize that is an issue. I have just run out of topic matter. I'm avoiding the 'traumatic event that changed my life' approach and trying to go with something different. I will work on putting more about myself into it.

Thank you for your input.

[JustDude]

I feel like I know more about your grandmother than I do about you. It makes me want to admit her postumously. Nice ending para, but bythen I had forgotten we were talking about you.

Ya, I realize that is an issue. I have just run out of topic matter. I'm avoiding the 'traumatic event that changed my life' approach and trying to go with something different. I will work on putting more about myself into it.

Thank you for your input.

Its a good idea to avoid "event that changed my life' approach"


Its a tough call. But If you describe her fine qualities in the middle of PS, and then have a strong ending paragraph about how you respect those qualities and want to live up to them, I think it could be OK. You will beasically claim all that as your own. It should be nicely written though. I think it will show a lot about you: to truely understand compassion could be as important as to display your own compassion (or other qualities), etc. Plus you will admit your mistake of not "appreciating" her, etc. It can show that you have a growth potential, since you are learning on mistakes.

[hefferlump]

GPA: 3.89
LSAT: 166

In: Northwestern, American ($)
Out: NYU
WL/Accepted: Georgetown (attending)
WL/Rejected: Columbia

"On the Road with Non-Stateapalooza"

On the flight from Cyprus, I found my mind whirring. Some people were sporting tans from the beach, but I’d left the divided island with a bottle of olive oil, a passport stamp from crossing into the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus (TRNC) and a new understanding of the past and future of the conflict between the internationally-recognized, wealthy Greek South and the underdeveloped, unrecognized (except by Turkey) Turkish North. I was happy, because I love travel that makes me think and I had just completed the first leg of my “Non-Stateapalooza 2007” tour. On to Kosovo!

Non-Stateapalooza was named because both of its stops were in political entities that function as de facto states, but have not been recognized as sovereign by the international community. My travels lasted just two weeks, but were also part of a much longer journey. It has been a journey of personal and intellectual discovery and one that I hope to continue in law school and throughout the rest of my life.

It began six years ago at Earlham College, a small Quaker institution in Indiana, whose motto “Engaging the World” is reflected in the international character of both the curriculum and the student body. Days after the events of September 11, 2001, one student told us about his experience as a survivor of the Rwandan genocide. He told us how his mother held him to the seat of the car during their escape and how the UN Peacekeepers accompanying the convoy ran into the forest to try and draw fire away from the diplomats and their families. I don’t know how to write about the effect this had on me on me without it sounding horribly clichéd, but I don’t think that I have looked at the world the same way since. For me, refugees and those affected by violence suddenly stopped being numbers on paper or pictures on the news and became real people and my friends.

My classmates opened my eyes to the impact of international law on the lives of ordinary people. Living in the United States, it is easy to forget that the United Nations and the international laws of war, refugees, and human rights have been a positive, but not perfect, force in the lives of millions around the world. I see it in South Africa, where I’m currently serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer, when AIDS patients receive free anti-retroviral treatment because of litigation brought under the Constitution’s economic, social and cultural right guarantees. I saw it in Kosovo in the presence of NATO soldiers guarding ancient Serbian Orthodox monasteries, in the graves of Kosovars whose remains are slowly being repatriated from dumping grounds in Serbia, and in the teary eyes of the imam who thanked me personally for saving his country. It was visible in peeling, tri-lingual UN signs that mark the entrance to the Green Zone buffer that has helped maintain peace between the two halves of Cyprus for more than thirty years and in partnerships with international aid agencies to develop cultural and ecotourism for economic growth and job creation in the TRNC.

It has been difficult to be a budding international law aficionado during the so-called “war on terror.” When President Bush “unsigned” the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, I cried. I struggled to understand the administration’s decidedly un-legal justifications for the invasion of Iraq and ran straight for a law library to investigate the precedent used to justify the creation of an “enemy non-combatant” status. The more I learned about the Geneva Conventions, the more I was convinced that they were violated by policies on interrogation and the treatment of prisoners. It was a confusing time that left me with many questions about the rule of law and the role of the hegemon in international society.

In college, I was able to channel my questions into action and study. I was fortunate to be able to take courses in international and Constitutional law, as well as international and American politics. Desperate to change the political situation at home and abroad, I volunteered for political campaigns in the US and the UK, knocked on doors, canvassed voters and helped on polling days. I organized our college’s regional Model United Nations Conference for two years and remain intensely proud of our efforts to help students think about the world from the perspective of others. I still draw inspiration from the high school girl who came up after a guest speech by our Palestinian Arabic Professor and told her, near tears, that she had never before realized the impact of the Middle East conflict on the lives of ordinary people.

After graduation, my journey took me back to London, where I had previously spent a semester abroad, to study for a Master’s degree in Human Rights at the London School of Economics. I wanted to be able to answer my fundamental questions about these rights, their origins, purposes and power, before I studied their law. As it turned out, my year at the LSE was a wonderful opportunity to explore my legal, as well as theoretical, interests. As the only non-lawyer in a course on the theory of international law, I was challenged by and relished extraordinary and difficult ideas about the efficacy, purposes, usefulness and problems associated with international law. I also explored my long-standing interests in international criminal law with a course on that subject. Ideas about state and non-state “outlaws” ran through both of these classes. I continued with this theme in my dissertation, exploring the “criminalization” of stateless persons for political purposes. It was an idea directly inspired by my stateless Kosovar friend, who I have watched struggle to have his UN-issued travel document recognized and accepted every time he wanted to visit a new country.

Now that journey has brought me to South Africa, where I am a capacity building volunteer assigned to a local municipality in a rural and desperately poor area that is struggling to reverse the effects of nearly 40 years of government neglect. I have seen first-hand the challenges of building a new society out of the Apartheid past and been able to talk to people about the effects that the regime, the struggle and the reconciliation movement have had on their lives.

I am excited that this journey will bring me back to the US and law school, but I am still hoping to return to the places that have fostered my interests in international law. I hope that Kosovo, with its beautiful mountains and countless mosques, will be a state by the time that I return. I hope that Cypriots will exercise their new freedom to cross the Green Line, and get to know each other as individuals in spite of the barriers that make a political settlement seem unlikely. Most of all, I hope that I will return as a lawyer, better equipped to help non-states, new states and stateless persons use international law to resolve their conflicts and develop societies where the human rights of all citizens are respected, protected and fulfilled.

[MCBarger]

I love it. I guess my opinion doesn't matter too much though, because you got into G-town.

I'm trying this style, playing against the "save the world" type but in a personal introspection piece. First draft... well I have my opinions but I'll keep them close to the chest. Could use some help, though.

“What can you do for us?”

The question was a last-ditch effort to get us doing something. The sweltering December heat at Kakuma Refugee Camp, a short drive south of southern Sudan in Kenya, was making our international volunteer group restless. In December 2006, the Kenyan Volunteer Development Association had lured twenty internationals into an international crisis zone for a three-week work-camp with non-governmental organizations. But the KVDA was supposed to give the United Nations’ Kakuma office six months’ notice with our résumés, forgot to do so, and leaving us stranded without work, so they put up a list to find out we could do for them. Little did I know that this list would ignite a deep, soul-searching introspection that would help define the rest of my undergraduate career.

I stared at the list. It stared back at me, daring me to respond. My aspirations, desires, and passions were siphoned into this dirty piece of notebook paper, with one line reserved for my expertise. I thought of what the camp needed: the camp was a makeshift city in the southern tip of the Sahara. The UN had made its impact with public services for their refugees: health care, food distribution, education, and vocational training, but seemingly could not be bothered for much else. Sadly, I learned that groups of refugees have been in the camp for decades, and set up businesses and cafes in their communities, seemingly in recognition of the fact that they will not be returning to their home any time soon, if their home still even exists. Despite the welcome arms with which we were received by our refugee counterparts, despair and hunger prevailed as they rifled through our garbage for their evening meal. And I was being asked what I could do to solve all of their problems. In three weeks.

Perhaps I was over-dramatizing the situation, not surprising given my most recent world-saving success. Four months before, I assumed the role of trade diplomat extraordinaire in a University of Cape Town economics course that helped focus my long academic infatuation with international affairs: Applied International Trade Bargaining. Students were asked to represent World Trade Organization delegations and advance their country’s trade interests from the current Doha Agenda, which is currently stalling trade initiatives in the developed and developing world. A disproportionate voting structure stacked the odds against my country, Argentina, as four industrialized delegations could force a majority and impose their trade interests so long as they voted together. I was tasked with both uniting my developing world partners and forcing forward issues that would break apart the industrialized power bloc.

But I had done this so many times before. With six years of Model United Nations behind me, I confidently charged the battlefield that was our plenary room, discussion board, and any other place in which two or more of us happened to be sitting. I was motivated by social justice: my success could bring parity to an unbalanced economic system, and provide market access and employment for millions of people in developing countries. I was focused through experience and enthusiasm: my competitive edge owned the floor with every motion I put forward, earning the respect and allegiance of my allies, and striking fear, self-doubt, and resignation in the hearts of my opponents. By November, I put motivation and focus together and formed the largest developing-country trade agreement conceived. This group removed unfair agricultural subsidies and created market access for developing countries. Class had ended, and I found new confidence in my abilities to change my world and a new niche for my studies: international development. Kakuma, to me, was the breeding ground for these abilities.

But what could I do for them? The list, the all-powerful reality check, exposed the niche for what it was: just another dabbling interest for which I was not yet qualified. What could I do to help? It might as well have been “What gives you the right to think you can help?” Instead of feeling empowered, I looked at the list and saw what I lacked: training as a doctor, teacher, or other craft to which this community needed volunteers to contribute. I, like this list, lacked the motivation and focus to find a role within my community, but I could still do something. I had talent, but to help my outside world, I would have to look inward, find a motivation and focus for my talent, and work hard to develop that focus into a reality. Like the café-owning refugees, I stopped worrying about what I could not professionally do and decided that I would learn my role in this community the way I knew best: applying my strengths where possible, learning what I did not know, and not worrying about my limits and making mistakes.

With that, I decided to write “ANYTHING YOU NEED” on the list, called a team meeting, and helped arrange work with the Kakuma Refugee Youth Festival. With the festival came other small successes, as I found places for my rhetorical talent in peace discussions and poetry readings, but my stay at Kakuma was cut short after I contracted malaria. Despite this, I returned to the States with a new agenda: take my new passion for international economic development and use it to find my professional focus.

From that dirty piece of notebook paper, a new Matt Barger came forward. Motivated by my introspection in Kakuma, I used my last undergraduate years to focus on my role in the greater community, adding a second economics degree and taking classes and internships that explored my interests. After two years of fine-tuning, I found my professional focus, and I will apply my rhetorical and argumentative skills, my enthusiasm for international economics and diplomacy, and to a problem-solving attitude to a career in international economic law and policy.

[hefferlump]

Thank you for your complement.

I think you've got a good start. There are some editing things that definitely need to be done, but I don't think you're really looking for that advice right now?

I think a couple of things:
1) Maybe less about the stuff in Cape Town? As another hard-core addict, I'm pretty sure MUN-ers are a dime a dozen among law school applicants and I don't think it's something that's too important to bring up with that much detail (even though this was M-Doha, instead). I think it's better to mention, but focus primarily on what you've done in the "real" world. I did, however, wonder why you were in CT? Were you studying abroad? Did living in and seeing SA have any effect on your desire to do development?

2) This kind of goes along with the above, but I really wanted to hear more about your experiences. Can you tell more about the things you did in the camp? What about the internships you mention? Any classes that you decided to take as a result? Did they have an effect that's worth mentioning?

3) More description. Without going overboard on the OMG!Poverty, can you "show" more about the camp, the people you worked with, etc. Details like "the grubby piece of notebook paper" really make the essay sing and I'd love to see more of them.

4) Put more emphasis on "ANYTHING YOU NEED." Can you start with that, rather than getting there after quite a few paragraphs of explanation? That's the key message, I think: you're willing to do whatever it takes and show a great deal of initiative.

Ok, I think that's my view for now. I hope that helps!

[B5A2D1]

So I'm thinking about using this as a diversity statement. Its been through a couple of drafts, but I think its needs at least one more draft, but I think I've done all that I can with it.
I'm looking for opinions about the topic as a whole...is it a good statement of my diversity?
Also, I think I got what I need to say in there, but I'm worried about the organization of the statement...
I hate the last sentence and am still looking for something else to say there to close it off better...
Thanks for any help

I hate to admit this, but my father used to embarrass me. He didn’t do it in the standard father-daughter ways; in fact, it was nothing he did that caused me to turn my head away uncomfortably. It was, however, the questions his mere presence presented that made such moments completely awkward for me. I vividly remember one day in elementary school after care that that my father picked me up instead of my mother. There he stood at the front door, in a simple suit and a bright tie looking entirely out of place. Upon seeing him, I rushed to gather my things hoping to avoid the inevitable questions. With my reaction time too slow; my peers had already made the connection between the mystery man standing at the door and me. “Is that your dad?” someone asked. Lacking the gall to deny my dad in front of his face, I was forced to reply affirmatively. And then came the expected, “Oh so you’re white?”
Too young to understand that being different wasn’t something to be ashamed of, I often denied my father. Changing the subject when he came up became like second nature to me. If my mind was not quick enough to deter my friends from the topic, I had an inventory of half-truths already prepared like my standard answer, “My dad is just light-skinned.” In the black community, being of a lighter complexion is regarded as advantageous, while being partially white leaves one uncategorized, and society loves nothing more than to be able to categorize people. Wanting to be grouped with those who I saw around me, I would have never been caught admitting to the fact that half my family is white. Though interracial relationships are more accepted and present now, in my Memphis neighborhood it was uncommon and regarded with unsympathetic eyes. Whenever I was out with my father, no matter where we were, there were always questioning eyes following us that seemed to ask, “why is this white man with this little black girl?” Not yet mature enough to withstand the gazes, I often refused to go places alone my dad, selfishly preferring to hurt him rather than endure the uncomfortable stares. The insecurity of always being watched made me feel constantly out of place as if society was trying to tell me that we were mismatched, that my father and I did not belong together.
Divorce and my teenage years created a physical and emotional distance between my father and I. Him being around less eased my discomfort about having to answer questions about my heritage. Now a part of a single-family home, I was more like those around me than ever. In my society, two parents are only preferable if those two parents are alike; my mixed family was deemed more unconventional than my single-parent home, which was becoming more standard in the black community. The transition to not having my dad around was easy because I was already seasoned at pretending he wasn’t a part of my life. I never really felt ashamed of this until one day I reluctantly visited him at work. His job in hospital administration at the XXX Hospital required him to know not only the ins-and-outs of the hospital, but also every employee he supervised. Upon arriving at the hospital, my dad greeted me with a big hug and kiss, displaying his fatherly affection for everyone to see. He introduced me to everyone we passed, proudly smiling when saying, and “this is my daughter”. He bragged about my grades, about my mediocre tennis career, and any other minute detail about me that came up in conversation. With every word he spoke about me, I could feel his love for me resonate through to them, and at the same time, his proud embracement of me emphasized my own selfish behavior of denying him.
There was no “ta-da” moment, no moment when I magically matured. The uncomfortable years of embarrassment did not disappear over night, but it started to lessen when I felt the shameless guilt that day in the hospital. To see the man whom I vehemently denied over the years show so much pride in me forced me to realize how immature I had been acting. To denounce my dad was to negate what makes me who I am. From him I have inherited some of my most prized qualities: my determination, my outgoing nature, and my confidence. I am now able to say that I am proud to call XXX my father, no longer mortified by his fair skin, grey eyes, and reddish-brown hair, but honored by his accomplishments as a person and a father. Dealing with the issue surrounding my father’s heritage forced me to take a deeper look at myself. No longer willing to hide who I am, I have grown immensely from that embarrassed little girl in afterschool care into a young woman honored by her unique ancestry. Believing that a lot of my success in life stems from this self-discovery, I am thankful for this struggle with my identity because it allowed me to truly find myself.

[postingaps]

I'm a frequent poster here, but I created the alt cause people can find out who I am on my other SN. But I think my PS is good enough that others will find it helpful.

In: Every school that I applied
WL/Rejected: None - Probably should have applied to more, but I got into the school that I wanted to go to.

_________________________

One afternoon early in the spring of my sophomore year in high school, I eagerly jumped off the school bus when I saw my dad’s blue Volvo parked in the driveway. I ran past his car and into the garage, where he was inexplicably lying on his back. I screamed as I crept closer and saw his bloodshot eyes rolled completely back and ooze coming from his mouth. It is an image that was burned into my memory forever. I had come home to find my father overdosed from a heroin injection. Over the next year and a half, I witnessed drugs destroy my father, tear my family apart, and lead to a painful divorce that left my mom crying and my dad high. These horrid events devastated me, though I could not have become the man I am today without them. For that, I am thankful.

During this time, I received a crash course in crisis management. My father finally left us by Christmas of my junior year. I was my mother’s only child and her only family within 2,000 miles. I had to deal with her emotions, while finding some way to deal with my own. I learned to manage seemingly intolerable amounts of stress. Once I accepted that dwelling on the past only made matters worse, I moved on by forcing myself to stay motivated in school. I was starting to think about college and I couldn’t let my grades slip. Furthermore, I could not allow my issues at home to affect my work or my relationships with friends. This is how I got through high school.

Once I started college, though, I found it easy to ignore the truth about my father to my new friends. I even told my close friends that my dad died when I was in high school, which wasn’t entirely untrue. I had not seen or heard from him for over a year and a half. However, late in my second year I decided not to lie to myself or others anymore. I started to look beyond the hatred and confusion and remember the loving father I grew up with. This guy was more than a drug addict. Somewhere deep inside of him was my old, loving father – the one who pushed and watched me ride a bike for the first time.

I began by telling my close friends. I told them one by one that my loving father had become a dead-beat dad. I realized that I still loved my dad, in spite of all the pain he had inflicted on me and my mom. As Christmas approached, I made an effort through my father’s mother to see my dad during the winter break. When I did, it was the first time in over four years I’d seen him. He had been sober for a few months and resembled my old dad. Yes, he’d made bad choices. But when he’s sober, he becomes the loving, generous person as he once was.

My relationship with my father continues to evolve though successes as well as setbacks. Recently I learned that my dad was sentenced to jail again a few months after I saw him. I am not surprised, though I remain hopeful that one day he will stop using drugs for good. My optimism and determination will always help get me through how I feel about my dad’s difficulties. If I give up hope on him, then he will have one less reason to get better. I have matured to discover that the small battles don’t count as nearly as much as the larger on-going war. These continuing challenges brought on by my dad’s drug addiction are far from simple. Whether he gets better is ultimately up to him. I will continue to love my father and provide him moral support when he seeks it. As horrible as this all has been, his actions have at the same time helped me develop into a mature, optimistic, and determined person.

[JustDude]

B5A2D1 You are a little bitch yourng lady. Just Kidding Just kidding.

Kinda long though

Divorce and my teenage years created a physical and emotional distance between my father and I. Him being around less eased my discomfort about having to answer questions about my heritage.

Between my father and me. His being abound

With my reaction time too slow; my peers had already made the connection between the mystery man standing at the door and me. “Is that your dad?” someone asked.

semicolon?

I often refused to go places alone my dad,

Alone???

[B5A2D1]

Thanks JustDude, as if I didn't feel bad enough about it
Do you think I really come off bitchy (I def don't want to give that impression)

[JustDude]

Thanks JustDude, as if I didn't feel bad enough about it
Do you think I really come off bitchy (I def don't want to give that impression)

No, I was kidding. More like repentant. I mean its was pretty difficult after all.

[hefferlump]

I hate to admit this, but my father used to embarrass me. He didn’t do it in the standard father-daughter ways; in fact, it was nothing he did that caused me to turn my head away uncomfortably....

My fundamental advice is this: it takes faaaaaar too long to figure out why you were embarrassed about your dad. It just sounds like you don't like your dad until quite a few paragraphs in when you realize that you're biracial and that he's white. As it's a diversity statement, I think you should make it very, very easy for the reader to know what kind of diversity you're talking about and not make them read for so long. As it is, I wondered to myself: what's diverse about not liking your parents in some period of life? I really hope this comes off as helpful, rather than rude, and I apologize if it doesn't!

[B5A2D1]

As it is, I wondered to myself: what's diverse about not liking your parents in some period of life?

what I was trying to convey, which I guess I didn't, was that it wasn't me not liking my dad, I love him, it was me not liking how society viewed us as a father-daughter pair. I was never uncomfortable until we were in public or when I was questioned about it. Thanks for the comment, I'll def work on the intro and better conveying why i think its diverse.

[lotus]

I think this one might be more useful for people going to law school after doing something else for a few years like I did. I was specifically told I had to write about why I was going to law school after doing a master's and Ph.D. so choosing a topic was pretty easy. I've fudged a few things to make my actual identity a little less obvious.

GPA: Undergrad 3.87, Master's 4.0, Ph.D. 3.96
LSAT: 172
Undergrad major: Horticulture: Master's - Plant Genetics ; Ph.D. Microbiology
In: Boalt, Chicago, Georgetown, Michigan, Northwestern, Penn
WL: Harvard, Stanford
Scholarships: Darrow, Levy, Wigmore, 50K at Chicago
Softs: Nothing extraordinary. A Congressional internship in agricultural policy and a bunch of student leadership positions but nothing that jumps off the page. Really, I think the scholarships were just a result of not too many people being masochistic enough to do more school after the Ph.D.

PS:

“Law school. Why?”

Any time I announce my intention to apply to law school I can inevitably expect some variant of this response. After a decade spent on the altar of genetic research, it is an obvious question.

I cannot with any authenticity claim that I have been striding towards a career in law since I first set foot on a university campus. My academic career instead began with an eye on medical research. I quickly realized, however, that I was far happier unearthing the mysteries of the universe rooting about in the muck of a bean field than in perusing frog entrails. Agricultural research represented the perfect marriage of my desire to pursue basic questions and my need to devote myself to a field with tangible applicability. After switching my major, I met Dr. ---, a man of profound generosity and great passion, whether that passion be for partying outside the back of a trailer before a football game or for granting a group of skeptical undergraduates an appreciation for the Latin basis of scientific names. Dr. --- became my mentor and my inspiration, and as I witnessed the joy of discovery his long career in applied plant breeding had given him I thought—this is it, here is my path.

That path ultimately led me deeper into the halls of academic research, a pursuit that came with deeper rewards. In contrast to my undergraduate course work, where generalized information was presented predigested in textbook form, in graduate school our professors encouraged us to instead look to original papers and the leading edge of research. While we were taught to respect the canon of scientific tradition that provided the groundwork for present day theory, we were also pushed to always question, to go back to the original data presented in each paper and scrutinize the authors’ assumptions and conclusions for ourselves. Learning became increasingly hands on; instead of simply reading the twentieth paper on why genomics was the future, I worked in one of the largest genomics labs on campus in developing resources to facilitate exploration of underexploited perennial tree fruit genomes.

Although my work in genomics provided important tools for future research, I grew vaguely dissatisfied with genomics as a pure pursuit because it took me away from getting my hands dirty in the field. In moving on to my Ph.D. research at school x, I decided to reapply myself to my original goals of finding a way to bridge basic research and practical application. I found that bridge in my present project, which attempts to create a novel strategy for disease control of an important fungal pathogen of wine grapes by manipulating developmental stages within the fungus that are critical for disease spread. This work satisfied me far more than my master’s work had, but at the same time I became increasingly frustrated with academia’s lack of interest in questioning itself. I grew wary of where we might be headed and if we even had the ability to brake along the way. While individual faculty might comment on the ethics of their investigations and how they might change the agricultural landscape, as an institution we seemed unprepared to meet these issues.

Biological science, particularly genetics, has come a long way and at a rapidly accelerating pace in the last century. A century ago, the idea that DNA, a ridiculous molecule of almost childish simplicity, could form the basis of inheritance was ludicrous, something of a scientific inside joke. Fifty years later, DNA’s place as life’s blue-print firmly established, scientists still struggled to create even a basic model for its form. Now, after another fifty year jump, the double helix stands so firmly embedded in the psyche of pop culture that it crops up everywhere from tattoos to the opening credits of summer blockbusters. In the lab, we have taken the reins of evolution into our own hands, shuttling genes across species and even kingdom divisions that not so long ago seemed inviolate.

These abilities and our similarly expanding knowledge in areas like proteomics are amazing, praise-worthy, necessary things. I firmly believe that these technologies will prove absolutely critical to meeting the challenges of the 21st century. With all of the magician’s dazzle of what we can accomplish in the lab, however, I fear our ability to create is rapidly outstripping our ability to manage our creations. While post-apocalyptic visions of Skynet or Cylons returning to plague their creators remain purely the domain of sci-fi programming, I do believe there is real cause for concern. Already, our ability to constrain our technologies is slipping; the New York Times reported recently that transgenic grass created in the lab is now being found in the wild. On a more concerning scale, widespread use of antibiotics, one of the twentieth century’s great life savers, has led to the evolution of super-bugs which not only contain resistance to nearly every known medicine, but also have the ability to transmit that resistance to other susceptible strains or even to different species.

If we cannot even at present foresee the complete ramifications of our investigations, I think the future prospects can only become more complex. As our investigations take us into new worlds and those discoveries spill over into implications for how we practice medicine, grow our food, or produce our energy, I believe society will demand greater involvement in deciding how our knowledge is used. In the post 9/11 world, concerns about bio-warfare and food security have already led to increasing involvement of government policy in the life sciences. As policy and scientific research become further intertwined, I think there will be a critical need for people trained in not only scientific fact and culture, but also in the ethics and practice of law to take part in both the public policy debate and in increasingly complex areas such as patent law.

This, I believe, is the answer to “Law school. Why?”. While I remain committed to the promise of science, I have come to realize that I am far more invigorated by questions of politics than of DNA polymorphisms. I want to take part in deciding how we, as a society, deal with questions like the ethics of gene patents. I want to be engaged in balancing the need for careful application with the fear of stifling innovation. I think these are exciting questions that will have huge impact for both how we practice science in the future and how we implement it. I think the study of the Law will prove absolutely critical to my ability to play a role in the intersection of policy and science and I look forward to being able to explore the many opportunities that this study will afford.

[weezy23]

So this is a revised version of a revised version of a....you get the point. Worse, better, or the same (for those who remember)? For those who don't: good, bad, or eh? Thanks.

I cannot remember meeting the doctor. In fact, my only memory of the appointment is the joy I derived from watching Cartoon Network in the upstairs portion of the office—a rare treat for an eight year-old whose parents were stuck in the six-channel world of network television. However, despite what I recall, there was an examination and it ended in a diagnosis.
Back at home, my mother and father calmly explained that I had Tourette’s syndrome. Initially, the terminology did not mean much to me. Yet, even as a child, I was able to glean two things from our conversation: 1) There was a name for my unusual behavior and 2) I had a problem that normal people did not. While I always knew that my shtiks (as my family euphemistically called them)—moments of incessant blinking, skipping sporadically while walking, and touching almost everything I passed on the street—set me apart from my friends, it was not until Tourette’s entered my vocabulary that I viewed myself as fundamentally different.
During the next few months, my parents walked a fine line between being proactive and pretending nothing had changed. Most importantly, however, they decided to disclose my Tourette’s on a strictly need-to-know basis. By keeping school administrators, friends, and even extended family members in the dark, they prevented my condition from acquiring an unnecessary prominence in others’ perceptions of me. As a result, most people embraced the overarching image I had of myself—an energetic, occasionally troublemaking boy who did funny things from time to time.
Despite a constant awareness of my Tourette’s while growing up, it was only when my tics were at their worst that feelings of frustration, futility, and self-consciousness surfaced. Yet, with time, I also noticed a positive pattern. Whenever I engaged in a task requiring focus—tackling particularly challenging homework assignments, playing sports, or even finishing a difficult level in a new video game—my symptoms would dissipate. To this day, I am not sure if my attentiveness in school evolved as a coincidence or as an instinctive response to what I observed. However, as I passed through high school, a growing commitment to academic success coincided with the gradual reduction of my Tourette’s. Becoming less obvious with each passing year, the “funny things” I did from time to time were mere memories by the time I entered college.
Although dealing with my symptoms helped shape me into a more resilient, accepting, and focused person, I harbor no romantic illusions about the syndrome. As I grew older, the facility with which I once shrugged off my Tourette’s gave way to increased efforts to hide my tics from peers and teachers. Even as my symptoms gradually subsided, my teenage years brought with them a greater fear of a future limited by Tourette’s. Therefore, while my time at X University has been positive from an academic standpoint, I consider my true successes to be the choices I made early on to consistently lead in-class discussions, to try acting and theater, and to develop into a more extroverted student. In these ways, I have been able to celebrate, on a personal level, a newfound control over my Tourette’s. Though I found fulfillment in the schoolwork and research I completed over the last three years, I am most proud of those moments in which I quietly pursued avenues that I once considered closed.
Thus, my desire to attend law school is more than an outgrowth of my intellectual interests. It is also an extension of my past. My aspiration to be a lawyer, and more specifically a litigator, reflects a determination to achieve what once seemed improbable for the eight year-old who came skipping and blinking out of the doctor’s office. The abilities to stand in a courtroom fully composed and to argue persuasively were not in the cards for me. Yet, due to a combination of grit, luck, biology, and environment, I have this chance. I appreciate this opportunity. I understand its significance. And, as a result, I am determined to succeed in law school and professionally. I owe myself nothing less.

[JustDude]

Another tourist to Afrca... Heh.......


Should we call it "thirld world exploration tours"???

i wonder when people will start writing about sex tours to Thailand in their PS's.

[onemanshow]

greetings to all of you ,

well i am a student of 23 years old from morocco and i am seeking help on how to write my personal statement because i am planning to apply for a schoolarship to get my master's degree in Art of Education so i my dream is to be a university Professor .
so i really rely on help whatever it can be this is my email yunsho@hotmail.com and i'll be very thankfull if you can help me with this thank you very very much .

[smiley26]

edit

[chelseylaurenmoore]

Hey y'all! I was wondering if you could give me a little bit of help. This is the first draft of my personal statement and I don't even know if it's a good topic. So tear it apart, be as mean as you want. I need all the criticism I can get!!


I had given tours to a Korean delegation, judges from the Czech Republic, and even one to Sandra Day O'Connor herself. But none of that could prepare me for what I was about to face. Sixty-two kindergarten and first grade students stood in the Upper Great Hall of the Supreme Court of the United States waiting for me. Waiting for me to lecture them about the law.
I started my internship with the U.S. Supreme Court by giving a thirty minute lecture to a group of seven people and now I was to finish with this. Weeks before their arrival, the Visitors Services Coordinator told me that the Curator's Office needed to develop a program directed specifically toward children and that they wanted my help. I tried to imagine what it might be like lecturing six year olds on Constitutional Law. In the midst of my daydream, I was struck with an idea. I would take the group on a “safari”. Symbolism is prevalent throughout the court and animals account for a large portion of it, specifically owls, lions, and turtles. My idea was to take the children out to the front portico, split them into groups, and tell them to find the animals. Following their adventure, I could tell them exactly what each animal stood for and how it applied to the Supreme Court and the laws. Despite my plan, I was still apprehensive. Children that age are so unpredictable. Who knew what they might ask me?
At 11:00 am on the day of the tour, my last day at the Supreme Court, I got the call from the guards in the Upper Great Hall notifying me of their arrival. Halfway up the marble steps I could hear the echo of tiny voices heatedly discussing cartoons and Barbie dolls. As soon as I reached the group and introduced myself, I was submerged in a sea of sticky fingers. They were all talking at once and I couldn’t understand any of them. When I finally got them calmed down, I herded them into the Courtroom where I began the lecture. I use the term “lecture” very loosely. They asked me what seemed like a thousand questions, my favorite of which was “So, if the judges mess up, who grades their papers,” and finally told them we would be going on an adventure.
I led them to the outside and explained the activity. When I’d broken them into their groups, they ran to their designated spots and came back a few moments later to report their findings. I began by asking the first group what they found. They correctly replied, in unison and very enthusiastically, “OWLS!” What followed was probably the only Socratic discussion about owls in which I will ever partake. I asked them if they had ever seen an owl before, what they knew about owls, and so on. Eventually this line of questioning led them to the correct conclusion. Owls are very smart and so the owls stood for the wisdom, or “smartness,” of the law. The conversation went similarly with the other two groups: lions leading to “like a king” (the majesty of the law) and turtles being “slow and easy” (the slow but steady pace of justice). When we finished discussing all the different animals and how they related to the Court, I asked them if they had any other questions. Suffice it to say, they were an incredibly inquisitive bunch. After I posed for pictures and received a million miniature hugs, the group left as noisily as they had come. This time, though, the topic of their conversations were very different: they all wanted to be “supreme judges”.
In that last respect, they were a bit more ambitious than I am, though not by much. When I was at the Court, I was told that becoming a clerk for one of the Justices is like being struck by lightening, though that sentiment never deterred my dreams. I want to clerk for a Supreme Court Justice and I believe that your school will give me the best chance of attaining my dreams. I’m obviously passionate about Constitutional law. Only an extraordinarily passionate person would have taken on the abovementioned task. I have also taken the first steps towards my goal by interning at the Court. I believe that if I combine my passion, drive, and experience with the knowledge, assistance, and stellar constitutional law program that your school offers, I will be able to achieve my goal shortly after my graduation.
As I reflect back on those children, I see a little of myself in them. They were so thirsty for knowledge, so inquisitive about every little thing. I come to you today as they came to me. Where I see only owls, lions, and turtles, I hope that you can show me the wisdom, majesty, and perseverance synonymous with the law.

[olderapplicant]

Hey y'all! I was wondering if you could give me a little bit of help. This is the first draft of my personal statement and I don't even know if it's a good topic. So tear it apart, be as mean as you want. I need all the criticism I can get!!


I had given tours to a Korean delegation, judges from the Czech Republic, and even one to Sandra Day O'Connor herself. But none of that could prepare me for what I was about to face. Sixty-two kindergarten and first grade students stood in the Upper Great Hall of the Supreme Court of the United States waiting for me. Waiting for me to lecture them about the law.
I started my internship with the U.S. Supreme Court by giving a thirty minute lecture to a group of seven people and now I was to finish with this. Weeks before their arrival, the Visitors Services Coordinator told me that the Curator's Office needed to develop a program directed specifically toward children and that they wanted my help. I tried to imagine what it might be like lecturing six year olds on Constitutional Law. In the midst of my daydream, I was struck with an idea. I would take the group on a “safari”. Symbolism is prevalent throughout the court and animals account for a large portion of it, specifically owls, lions, and turtles. My idea was to take the children out to the front portico, split them into groups, and tell them to find the animals. Following their adventure, I could tell them exactly what each animal stood for and how it applied to the Supreme Court and the laws. Despite my plan, I was still apprehensive. Children that age are so unpredictable. Who knew what they might ask me?
At 11:00 am on the day of the tour, my last day at the Supreme Court, I got the call from the guards in the Upper Great Hall notifying me of their arrival. Halfway up the marble steps I could hear the echo of tiny voices heatedly discussing cartoons and Barbie dolls. As soon as I reached the group and introduced myself, I was submerged in a sea of sticky fingers. They were all talking at once and I couldn’t understand any of them. When I finally got them calmed down, I herded them into the Courtroom where I began the lecture. I use the term “lecture” very loosely. They asked me what seemed like a thousand questions, my favorite of which was “So, if the judges mess up, who grades their papers,” and finally told them we would be going on an adventure.
I led them to the outside and explained the activity. When I’d broken them into their groups, they ran to their designated spots and came back a few moments later to report their findings. I began by asking the first group what they found. They correctly replied, in unison and very enthusiastically, “OWLS!” What followed was probably the only Socratic discussion about owls in which I will ever partake. I asked them if they had ever seen an owl before, what they knew about owls, and so on. Eventually this line of questioning led them to the correct conclusion. Owls are very smart and so the owls stood for the wisdom, or “smartness,” of the law. The conversation went similarly with the other two groups: lions leading to “like a king” (the majesty of the law) and turtles being “slow and easy” (the slow but steady pace of justice). When we finished discussing all the different animals and how they related to the Court, I asked them if they had any other questions. Suffice it to say, they were an incredibly inquisitive bunch. After I posed for pictures and received a million miniature hugs, the group left as noisily as they had come. This time, though, the topic of their conversations were very different: they all wanted to be “supreme judges”.
In that last respect, they were a bit more ambitious than I am, though not by much. When I was at the Court, I was told that becoming a clerk for one of the Justices is like being struck by lightening, though that sentiment never deterred my dreams. I want to clerk for a Supreme Court Justice and I believe that your school will give me the best chance of attaining my dreams. I’m obviously passionate about Constitutional law. Only an extraordinarily passionate person would have taken on the abovementioned task. I have also taken the first steps towards my goal by interning at the Court. I believe that if I combine my passion, drive, and experience with the knowledge, assistance, and stellar constitutional law program that your school offers, I will be able to achieve my goal shortly after my graduation.
As I reflect back on those children, I see a little of myself in them. They were so thirsty for knowledge, so inquisitive about every little thing. I come to you today as they came to me. Where I see only owls, lions, and turtles, I hope that you can show me the wisdom, majesty, and perseverance synonymous with the law.

is interning at the court a very prestigous job and hard to get? (excuse my ignorance) should you discuss that? i didn't really get the why you were an "extraordinarily passionate person" - what was so great about the "aforementioned task"? teachers do this kind of stuff every day, no? sorry to be so blunt.

[chelseylaurenmoore]

don't worry about being blunt. i need to know! but, yeah it is kind of a big deal. i was the only intern in the curators office and i made up the foundation of a childrens program. they didn't have one before i did what i did. but seriously thanks for your help! i need all the help i can get!!!

[fightin illini 25]

Hi everyone, I applied to schools last year got into almost all of them, but decided to hold out and give my first choice another try. I wrote this new personal statment after an experience with a young kid who I coached as a volunteer for the local park district by my college. Let me know what you think.

DeAndre Jordan (or D.J. as everyone called him) sat on a wooden bench outside the entrance to the Douglass Community Center greeting all of his future teammates and their parents with a bright smile and friendly hello. At the sight of me, he didn’t waste any time in running over to introduce himself and proclaim boldly that he was a “really great basketball player” and that he “really wanted to show me some plays he had drawn up”. Even after coaching for the previous two years I was a little surprised by the brashness of this particular twelve year old and I smiled and told him that I was looking forward to working with him and the rest of the team this season. With our brief introductions aside he was quickly off to join the other players on the court and prepare for the first practice.


I had coached for the Champaign Park District the previous two years and almost of all the players I had worked with in the past came from good homes and had parents who cared about their sons athletics. I had the occasional problem dealing with angry children or parents in regard to issues such as playing time, disputes with other teammates or coaching style, they were “good experiences” though, because I learned that even the most challenging of situations could be resolved through talking and making compromises. As a result I believed I could handle just about anything thrown my way; however nothing in my two years of coaching experience could have prepared me for D.J. instead it would be the lessons I had learned throughout life that would allow me to help D.J.


The earliest clue that things would be different came during our first practice. Once I was able to get the team and parents into a group in the stands, I had all of the players introduce themselves and their parents to the rest of the team. About seven players through, we came to D.J. who introduced himself, but had no parents there. Sensing D.J.’s embarrassment, I quickly moved on to the next player. Following the practice I told D.J. that I could take a look at the plays he mentioned, he declined though, saying he had a bus to catch and that he could show me the plays next week. Yet when the next practice came around D.J. was not there, and when I asked his teammates if they knew his whereabouts they shrugged their shoulders and said they did not know. The next day I phoned D.J. to remind him of our next practice but no one answered, so I left a quick message saying I hoped all was well and that we looked forward to seeing D.J. the following week. I assumed at this point that he or his parents had simply forgotten about the day and time, but as I would soon find out there were other issues that were keeping D.J. from coming to practice.


D.J. was there the subsequent week and impressed me with his considerable talent and athleticism on the court. Following the practice I offered to drive D.J. home and it was here that I had the chance to learn more about his life. D.J. explained to me that as a child of an abusive father he spent a great deal of his time on the basketball courts near his park to avoid being at home. At age seven his Dad moved away and he now lived with his mom and older sister in an apartment in Champaign. He said he was routinely home alone all day and night and was forced to take the bus to and from practices. After learning this I felt compelled to provide D.J. with a friend to talk to about his home life and school. I had always enjoyed working with young athletes in the past; however, D.J. was the first player whose life faced such enormous personal challenges. So I decided to become personally involved and help in anyway I could.


Over the course of the season, D.J. and I became close friends. He would come over to my apartment for dinner with my roommates and I before practices, and asked me for help with his homework. One night during a talk following practice D.J. asked me for advice on putting his home life behind him. I thought for a moment and told him not to dwell on things in the past that he had no control over. I explained that their was little he could do about how other people acted, but if he worked hard and stayed dedicated to himself their was nothing that could stop him from succeeding. This wisdom I gave D.J. were things I had heard myself over the years from my parents, family and mentors. I was proud and happy that I was finally able to take the things that I had learned and pass them on to someone else.


For the last few weeks of the season, I tried my best to help D.J. make the most of his talents. We would stay an extra twenty minutes after each practice to work on a different facet of his game. D.J. had a genuine desire to improve and I was more then willing to help in anyway I could. More importantly though I stressed the significance of team play and sportsmanship to D.J. throughout the season. He knew he was the best player on the court, and routinely would act like it by show boating and making snide remarks about opposing players and his teammates. I wanted him to learn that by being positive and respectful of his teammates and others, he would have a better chance of succeeding on and off the court.


As the season came to a close, D.J. knew I was moving back to Chicago to begin my job. After our last game he came up and thanked me for being a great friend to him during the season. As I felt a slight tear swell in my eye I told him that I felt the same way about him as well. Now as I have had more time sit to sit back and reflect on the season I feel inspired to take those things I told D.J. about dedication, hard work, and compassion and apply it to my own future as I continue my education.


That first night of practice, I was just attempting to have fun coaching like I had in the past, however it was on that day I had the chance to stumble on a lesson that I carry with me the rest of my life.

[olderapplicant]

don't worry about being blunt. i need to know! but, yeah it is kind of a big deal. i was the only intern in the curators office and i made up the foundation of a childrens program. they didn't have one before i did what i did. but seriously thanks for your help! i need all the help i can get!!!

if that's the case, you need to be much more descriptive about your responsibilities and why this was so important. at least to me, it didn't come through that way at all. you sounded like you came up with a lesson plan.

[MMaldonado]

Hi guys, I'm having trouble choosing a topic to the point where I literally scrapped over 15 drafts within a 3 week time span. These are the topics that I'm debating on writing about

1) The folly of the Baltimore school system. I worked last year as a Substitute Teacher (a job I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy) and I would write about my frustration as a whole with how I butted heads with school administrators because I refused to bend over backwards to give the students undeserved opportunities and that I refused to follow rules that did such. One example was a policy that I had to accept work from students before the end of the day, even if they completed it after my class.

2) A "coming of age story" of sorts. This PS would support my reason for being a person that revolves around facts in everything. I would start off with how I started off my UG as a Civil Engineering major, even though I've always sucked at science just to get rich quick and how that caused me a lot of debt from losing a scholarship. To sum it up, this PS would be about how my hubris caused me some damage and then I found that after taking doing some history classes I found that I have a knack for working with facts.


Those are all that I have for now because I'm extremely unremarkable otherwise and I didn't do anything else halfway interesting.

[olderapplicant]

Hi guys, I'm having trouble choosing a topic to the point where I literally scrapped over 15 drafts within a 3 week time span. These are the topics that I'm debating on writing about

1) The folly of the Baltimore school system. I worked last year as a Substitute Teacher (a job I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy) and I would write about my frustration as a whole with how I butted heads with school administrators because I refused to bend over backwards to give the students undeserved opportunities and that I refused to follow rules that did such. One example was a policy that I had to accept work from students before the end of the day, even if they completed it after my class.

2) A "coming of age story" of sorts. This PS would support my reason for being a person that revolves around facts in everything. I would start off with how I started off my UG as a Civil Engineering major, even though I've always sucked at science just to get rich quick and how that caused me a lot of debt from losing a scholarship. To sum it up, this PS would be about how my hubris caused me some damage and then I found that after taking doing some history classes I found that I have a knack for working with facts.


Those are all that I have for now because I'm extremely unremarkable otherwise and I didn't do anything else halfway interesting.

i don't think you should write about refusing to follow the rules, especially b/c you were just a substitute teacher and it didn't sound like you really did anything to try to change the rules. the essay doesn't sound like it would say very much about you - maybe that you work hard and expect people to work hard - but i would just write about something that was more personal.

[JustDude]

Hi guys, I'm having trouble choosing a topic to the point where I literally scrapped over 15 drafts within a 3 week time span. These are the topics that I'm debating on writing about

1) The folly of the Baltimore school system. I worked last year as a Substitute Teacher (a job I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy) and I would write about my frustration as a whole with how I butted heads with school administrators because I refused to bend over backwards to give the students undeserved opportunities and that I refused to follow rules that did such. One example was a policy that I had to accept work from students before the end of the day, even if they completed it after my class.

2) A "coming of age story" of sorts. This PS would support my reason for being a person that revolves around facts in everything. I would start off with how I started off my UG as a Civil Engineering major, even though I've always sucked at science just to get rich quick and how that caused me a lot of debt from losing a scholarship. To sum it up, this PS would be about how my hubris caused me some damage and then I found that after taking doing some history classes I found that I have a knack for working with facts.


Those are all that I have for now because I'm extremely unremarkable otherwise and I didn't do anything else halfway interesting.

Both kinda lame. #1 is lame for all the reasons previous poster expressed.

They hire you to follow their rules, not to tell them what to do. For that purpose thay would hire Mckinsey