PLEASE Critique My Personal Statement! Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Stephgflores

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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2020 4:17 pm

Re: PLEASE Critique My Personal Statement!

Post by Stephgflores » Thu Sep 17, 2020 5:52 pm

Hi,
I think this is a good first draft of your personal statement. My advice would be to perhaps have a different eye catching opening. I think the first paragraph didn't necessarily flow well with the second. I read former U Chicago's former law admission officer, Anna Ivey's guide to Law School Admissions book and I def recommend her books. One of her advice on writing the personal statement is to have an eye catching opening and to make your personal statement descriptive throughout. Maybe you could begin describing a painting/art piece that demonstrates the concepts you mention and subtly refer to your accomplishements/passions. I hope this advice helps. Good luck.

CanadianWolf

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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: PLEASE Critique My Personal Statement!

Post by CanadianWolf » Thu Sep 24, 2020 10:52 am

Terrible. Really bad essay due to a lack of a meaningful central theme. It seems clear to me that you are trying to force a reason to attend law school. Based on this writing, I suggest that you consider pursuing a masters degree is public policy or in environmental science.

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