2pg First Draft. Viable Topic? Any Critiques Welcome
Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:06 pm
Hello, this is a new idea/draft I threw together over the past 2 days. It's very rough. It's no where close to being refined. I just want to hear your thoughts on if this is a workable scaffolding/theme/topic to then refine and perfect. Is it too general? Should I scrap it and start from scratch? Any comments or critiques are welcomed and I'll totally critique yours too in return! Thanks in advance!
I often daydream about writing to the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica, suggesting they include a smiling picture of me next to their entry on the American Dream. Serving as a limitless reservoir of hope, the true heart and soul of the American Dream has always belonged to America’s immigrant communities. As a first generation American with immigrant backgrounds on both sides of the family tree, I’ve often thought of my existence as the physical manifestation of the Dream. Currently, the mantel of our American Dream is carried most prevalently by the Hispanic-American community. Being of Cuban-Latina decent, my father’s mother had always felt close to this narrative. We could scarcely have a family gathering without her patented toast, “I left my home and came to America 25 years ago when Arin was born…”. All of my life my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles impressed upon me the importance of attending university and earning a college degree. Despite leaving his classroom for the bazaar in the fourth grade my mother’s father, Saro, regards a person’s education as their most valuable asset. Self-educated out of necessity, he credits our shared passion for history and literature with enabling his family to rise from undereducated minority in rural Iran to become exemplars of the American Dream within two generations.
Embracing the American ethos, my parents left their families behind and immigrated to the United States as persecuted ethnic and religious minorities following the 1979 Iranian Islamic Revolution. The revolution evolved into the bloody Iran-Iraq war, my parents arrived in America not knowing the language and cut-off from their families. Despite moving here to pursue their educations, their financial situations did not allow for either of them to complete college. Instead, they were forced to pass their aspirations down to their children, just as their own parents were. As a child, I watched them do everything in their power to encourage and support my brother and myself. Fueled by regret at their own lack of opportunity, my parents left no doubt in our minds that graduating from college was the bear minimum expected of us. Their mentality was encompassed in five words, “we couldn’t, so you will”. Only upon entering college did I realize that they pushed us hard so we would not have to repeat their struggles.
The experiences of my parents and grandparents led me to value intellectual enrichment above all else. As an undergraduate, I found that I enjoyed the Socratic nature of my political science lectures as well as finding intellectual satisfaction from economics coursework. Being the first in my family to have such an opportunity, I jumped at the chance to pursue my degree in both subjects. Make no mistake; this did not come easily for me, as I also had to fund my own education with student loans and work 20-30 hours a week. I welcomed the challenge knowing I was investing in my future. The summer between my junior and senior year was especially brutal. I completed two notoriously difficult upper-division finance courses while working five-hour days as an analyst for a distressed-debt real-estate investment firm in addition to completing various projects for the Undergraduate Finance Association. Through these experiences, budgeting time and maintaining discipline quickly became two of my greatest strengths.
Finding my economics coursework particularly stimulating, I pursued a career in finance and asset management following graduation. In accordance with my life-long goal of intellectual enrichment, I prepared for and took the notoriously difficult CFA exam while working 50 to 60 hours every week. 18 months after being hired as a portfolio administrator, management took note of my diligence and drive, offering me a coveted position on the mutual funds team. I gladly accepted the opportunity to expand my knowledge and join the best and brightest amongst my peers. On the mutual fund side of the business, fund sizes were not denoted in millions, but billions of dollars. I went from monitoring modest portfolios belonging to individual clients, to being responsible for several large publicly traded mutual funds. My job expanded from spotting and solving problems between a handful of internal teams and external brokers to dealing with federal regulators, legal council, the upper management of our parent company, and the mysteriously reclusive PhD analytics teams on the top floor.
In my new role, I discovered that although I was capable of producing quality quantitative work, my greatest strength lay in my written and verbal communication skills. I was responsible for spotting trading or accounting discrepancies, finding the technical solution, then coordinating the response between multitudes of parties, many of which included upper-level management and legal council. Since my undergraduate days, I dreamt of marrying my academic experience and technical expertise to my passion for problem solving, communicating and coordinating strategy. Having gained exposure to the legal and compliance aspects of finance working closely with our in-house counsel and government regulators, I found the ideal marriage of my skills, temperament, and interests in the practice of corporate, financial and tax law.
As a corporate litigator, I will retain exposure to the financial concepts I grew to enjoy as an undergraduate, employing them to advise on legal and financial issues. It is my ideal work environment, allowing me to apply my expertise and business acumen to novel, complex legal issues. My greatest professional goal is to build myself a reputation for producing excellent work. The culmination of all my experiences: academic, professional, and familial, have taught me that above all else perseverance is the ingredient necessary to reach my goals. Passion, discipline and dedication are the qualities that have allowed me to become the first person in my family to graduate from university. They have carried me this far, and they are the core traits I will rely on to carry me through the rigors of law school.
I often daydream about writing to the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica, suggesting they include a smiling picture of me next to their entry on the American Dream. Serving as a limitless reservoir of hope, the true heart and soul of the American Dream has always belonged to America’s immigrant communities. As a first generation American with immigrant backgrounds on both sides of the family tree, I’ve often thought of my existence as the physical manifestation of the Dream. Currently, the mantel of our American Dream is carried most prevalently by the Hispanic-American community. Being of Cuban-Latina decent, my father’s mother had always felt close to this narrative. We could scarcely have a family gathering without her patented toast, “I left my home and came to America 25 years ago when Arin was born…”. All of my life my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles impressed upon me the importance of attending university and earning a college degree. Despite leaving his classroom for the bazaar in the fourth grade my mother’s father, Saro, regards a person’s education as their most valuable asset. Self-educated out of necessity, he credits our shared passion for history and literature with enabling his family to rise from undereducated minority in rural Iran to become exemplars of the American Dream within two generations.
Embracing the American ethos, my parents left their families behind and immigrated to the United States as persecuted ethnic and religious minorities following the 1979 Iranian Islamic Revolution. The revolution evolved into the bloody Iran-Iraq war, my parents arrived in America not knowing the language and cut-off from their families. Despite moving here to pursue their educations, their financial situations did not allow for either of them to complete college. Instead, they were forced to pass their aspirations down to their children, just as their own parents were. As a child, I watched them do everything in their power to encourage and support my brother and myself. Fueled by regret at their own lack of opportunity, my parents left no doubt in our minds that graduating from college was the bear minimum expected of us. Their mentality was encompassed in five words, “we couldn’t, so you will”. Only upon entering college did I realize that they pushed us hard so we would not have to repeat their struggles.
The experiences of my parents and grandparents led me to value intellectual enrichment above all else. As an undergraduate, I found that I enjoyed the Socratic nature of my political science lectures as well as finding intellectual satisfaction from economics coursework. Being the first in my family to have such an opportunity, I jumped at the chance to pursue my degree in both subjects. Make no mistake; this did not come easily for me, as I also had to fund my own education with student loans and work 20-30 hours a week. I welcomed the challenge knowing I was investing in my future. The summer between my junior and senior year was especially brutal. I completed two notoriously difficult upper-division finance courses while working five-hour days as an analyst for a distressed-debt real-estate investment firm in addition to completing various projects for the Undergraduate Finance Association. Through these experiences, budgeting time and maintaining discipline quickly became two of my greatest strengths.
Finding my economics coursework particularly stimulating, I pursued a career in finance and asset management following graduation. In accordance with my life-long goal of intellectual enrichment, I prepared for and took the notoriously difficult CFA exam while working 50 to 60 hours every week. 18 months after being hired as a portfolio administrator, management took note of my diligence and drive, offering me a coveted position on the mutual funds team. I gladly accepted the opportunity to expand my knowledge and join the best and brightest amongst my peers. On the mutual fund side of the business, fund sizes were not denoted in millions, but billions of dollars. I went from monitoring modest portfolios belonging to individual clients, to being responsible for several large publicly traded mutual funds. My job expanded from spotting and solving problems between a handful of internal teams and external brokers to dealing with federal regulators, legal council, the upper management of our parent company, and the mysteriously reclusive PhD analytics teams on the top floor.
In my new role, I discovered that although I was capable of producing quality quantitative work, my greatest strength lay in my written and verbal communication skills. I was responsible for spotting trading or accounting discrepancies, finding the technical solution, then coordinating the response between multitudes of parties, many of which included upper-level management and legal council. Since my undergraduate days, I dreamt of marrying my academic experience and technical expertise to my passion for problem solving, communicating and coordinating strategy. Having gained exposure to the legal and compliance aspects of finance working closely with our in-house counsel and government regulators, I found the ideal marriage of my skills, temperament, and interests in the practice of corporate, financial and tax law.
As a corporate litigator, I will retain exposure to the financial concepts I grew to enjoy as an undergraduate, employing them to advise on legal and financial issues. It is my ideal work environment, allowing me to apply my expertise and business acumen to novel, complex legal issues. My greatest professional goal is to build myself a reputation for producing excellent work. The culmination of all my experiences: academic, professional, and familial, have taught me that above all else perseverance is the ingredient necessary to reach my goals. Passion, discipline and dedication are the qualities that have allowed me to become the first person in my family to graduate from university. They have carried me this far, and they are the core traits I will rely on to carry me through the rigors of law school.