personal statement! please critique! interesting read
Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:18 pm
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I think this needs to be rewritten. Remove all reference to Avatar the Last Airbender. There's almost no chance that the person reading your essay will have any clue what that is referring to--I do and it is still tough to follow. The reader also wont have to look it up. The entire focus of the essay should be on you, and the Avatar reference distracts from the main point.
I think the subject matter is fine, but you need more detail. There are a number of vague references to choices you made in your life, but the essay needs more. How did your father push you into pursuing medical school? What made you realize that path was not for you? Why law school? What was it like when you changed focus to law school? Why is graduating from law school your aspiration? What do you want to do with your law degree? These are all questions that I wanted answered as I read.
That said, I don't know how much weight the personal statement carries at law schools these days. Former deans and teachers have told me that 9/10 times they're meaningless; all most schools care about are how your GPA and LSAT is going to affect their ranking. Good luck!