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This person punched well above their numbers too. A PS alone doesn't do that, but I certainly can help.

http://blog.spiveyconsulting.com/anothe ... t-example/

Well, thanks, now I'm traumatized about Jazzy too.

Yeah, real downer of an ending.

Npret wrote:Well, thanks, now I'm traumatized about Jazzy too.

SRSLY.

A. Nony Mouse wrote:

Npret wrote:Well, thanks, now I'm traumatized about Jazzy too.

SRSLY.

Only way to make it better is to ADMIT!

Mike, your a busy man who gets paid to give this advice, but what do you think makes this a particularly strong PS? I see on your blog you mention the importance of writing a differentiated statement about yourself instead of writing what you think the admissions committee wants to read, but what's the line where it goes too far? I enjoyed the PS, but I'm not entirely certainly I understand her motivations for attending law school, or even more broadly, how this story really differentiates the applicant. Am I totally missing your point here? Is the point that a strong PS doesn't necessarily need to cater to these things? Is a strongly written, humanizing story that makes you seem like a person and not a number enough?

Platopus wrote:Mike, your a busy man who gets paid to give this advice, but what do you think makes this a particularly strong PS? I see on your blog you mention the importance of writing a differentiated statement about yourself instead of writing what you think the admissions committee wants to read, but what's the line where it goes too far? I enjoyed the PS, but I'm not entirely certainly I understand her motivations for attending law school, or even more broadly, how this story really differentiates the applicant. Am I totally missing your point here? Is the point that a strong PS doesn't necessarily need to cater to these things? Is a strongly written, humanizing story that makes you seem like a person and not a number enough?

Hey Platypus, you answered your own question. Think about it not from your perspective -- someone writing their one and only personal statement -- but from that of an admissions officer, reading these during travel season for the 15th straight year on an airplane as they jet from one forum to another. And all they see, time after time, page after page, is "why I want to go to law school"..."why I am so great" in the most overwrought, bloviating and bumptious terms (words people use in THEIR personal statements).

This was such a breath of fresh air for someone who has read all of the above so many applications in a row. It showed confidence in the ability to write such a story, let the reader make their own conclusions versus having them shoved down their throat, etc. I could go on. At the end of the day the vast majority of applicants write their PS for the wrong audience. If you write it for yourself and stop trying to overly impress good things happen.

I get that not mentioning Why Law or talking about your pet cat at 12 years old is a nuanced endeavor. But I'm kinda glad it is I hope that helps!

Platopus wrote:Is a strongly written, humanizing story that makes you seem like a person and not a number enough?

Obviously not an expert but it seems way harder than enough.

MikeSpivey wrote:

A. Nony Mouse wrote:

Npret wrote:Well, thanks, now I'm traumatized about Jazzy too.

SRSLY.

Only way to make it better is to ADMIT!

But we aren't admission officers. So no way to make it better.

Now here are 5. I got the sense some people wanted more gravitas in a few samples, that's here too:

http://blog.spiveyconsulting.com/all-sa ... tatements/

I hope this helps in any small way. -Mike