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Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:05 am
by CatherineZetaScarn1
So I'm at that point where I'm overthinking pretty much everything. I already sent my applications in but have been reading examples of "amazing personal statements" and mine is starting to seem like it was just too much. I'm possibly going to send it some more apps this month so I need to know if I should change it now.

Would anyone be willing to take a look at it for me? I would be happy to read/critique yours in return!

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:18 am
by Future Ex-Engineer
Post it and let us crush your dreams!

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:36 pm
by CatherineZetaScarn1
.

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:43 pm
by sethnoorzad
I actually think it's a great story. Really engaging... At the very end you make it clear that you want to become a lawyer because you want people to be brought to justice. That's good because you left me hanging in the middle when you kept saying that your dad got away with breaking the law because he had a great lawyer. Maybe put something in right away to make it clear that that inspired you to do the opposite.

Anyway, I thought it was great. The intensity of your story is a good thing, imo. Not boring.

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:01 pm
by mjb447
Yeah, I really like this as well. No comments from me. (Except that your 'tar is great. Watch out for Goldenface!)

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:14 pm
by Future Ex-Engineer
Read through it cursorily (aka not with a fine-toothed comb for grammar/usage), and I honestly really liked it. I think it does a great job of explaining your interest in law as well as some background on who you are.

Definitely don't think it was 'too much'.

Re: Already submitted--was it too much??

Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 6:03 pm
by CanadianWolf
I thought that it was written by a professional until I read "to affect as much change as possible". Otherwise it is an engaging & effective read.