PS Review - Rough Draft
Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 11:52 pm
Hey everyone - I've finished a rough draft of my personal statement. Chime in if you think I'm on the right track or should scrap it, but I'm also specifically curious:
a) if there are sections that I should expand upon and/or trim
b) if/to what extent I need to go about fixing transitions and coherence - are the transitions too awkward/forced? Is the whole thing too disjointed?
Finally, what I'm really trying to do with this PS is to take an anecdote and expand it to how my work experience has reinforced my desire to go to law school. Am I doing a good job of that? Are there ways to improve. My PS is below - happy to read anybody else's (by PM as well, if you'd prefer that).
“Oh yeah, I guess you’re right – click.” That was a representative from Alberta’s Ministry of Finance hanging up on me, both confirming that I had properly read an Alberta regulatory document and that the information I had received from the past three or four people at the Ministry had been wrong. [MENTION THE HANGING-UP?] The question centered on whether our firm had to file certain documentation from previous years as we worked on reviving our company’s registration to be a broker in Alberta.
In February, I began working at a firm that runs an online platform in the relatively new space of equity crowdfunding. I was initially taken on to perform financial analysis, serve as a liaison between potential investors and the companies we listed, and to handle some marketing initiatives. Being only one of seven people at [COMPANY], it wasn’t long before handling work that covered the spectrum of running our business.
Over time, whenever a question came up that required researching OSC regulations or grappling with ambiguous portions of tax codes, I would be tasked with finding an answer. No one else at the office wanted to deal with it, so such work would somehow always be delegated to me. This arrangement worked out quite well – I personally loved reading through dense documents to answer questions like “We’re going to do X, do we need to file that with the Ontario Securities Commission?”
In fact, the compliance/regulatory work has been my favorite part about my job every time it comes up. This has reinforced my decision to attend law school. Although I’ve had a strong interest in law school and working in the legal field for several years now, that interest was conditioned by a desire to be sure I was choosing law school for the right reasons. The fact that I truly enjoy reading through a 134-page legal document to answer a specific question or understand general regulations that apply to my firm has only made me more certain about law school.
I’ve also come to appreciate the counseling role played by so many working in the legal field. Working at a financial technology startup, I have firsthand experience with how nerve-wracking it can be to ensure that your company is satisfying regulations and working within the confines of the law. Although my episode with Finance Alberta has humorous elements, it also has a serious side: if we had followed the advice given us by the Ministry, we would have violated their rules and possibly been slapped with a fine. It might have resulted in me being fired somewhere down the line.
I have gained a deeper understanding for legal education and the legal profession through my work with [COMPANY]. I’ve always had a fascination with the law, but my job gave me the opportunity to actually interact with it in practical ways. Even further, I can now see the positive impact that lawyers can have – not just in a broad sense like helping expand civil rights, but also in a much narrower sense, like in guiding a tiny company that may have to contend with as many rules as a multinational enterprise. My passion for the law, combined with my desire to be genuinely helpful to others, has convinced me that law school is the right choice.
a) if there are sections that I should expand upon and/or trim
b) if/to what extent I need to go about fixing transitions and coherence - are the transitions too awkward/forced? Is the whole thing too disjointed?
Finally, what I'm really trying to do with this PS is to take an anecdote and expand it to how my work experience has reinforced my desire to go to law school. Am I doing a good job of that? Are there ways to improve. My PS is below - happy to read anybody else's (by PM as well, if you'd prefer that).
“Oh yeah, I guess you’re right – click.” That was a representative from Alberta’s Ministry of Finance hanging up on me, both confirming that I had properly read an Alberta regulatory document and that the information I had received from the past three or four people at the Ministry had been wrong. [MENTION THE HANGING-UP?] The question centered on whether our firm had to file certain documentation from previous years as we worked on reviving our company’s registration to be a broker in Alberta.
In February, I began working at a firm that runs an online platform in the relatively new space of equity crowdfunding. I was initially taken on to perform financial analysis, serve as a liaison between potential investors and the companies we listed, and to handle some marketing initiatives. Being only one of seven people at [COMPANY], it wasn’t long before handling work that covered the spectrum of running our business.
Over time, whenever a question came up that required researching OSC regulations or grappling with ambiguous portions of tax codes, I would be tasked with finding an answer. No one else at the office wanted to deal with it, so such work would somehow always be delegated to me. This arrangement worked out quite well – I personally loved reading through dense documents to answer questions like “We’re going to do X, do we need to file that with the Ontario Securities Commission?”
In fact, the compliance/regulatory work has been my favorite part about my job every time it comes up. This has reinforced my decision to attend law school. Although I’ve had a strong interest in law school and working in the legal field for several years now, that interest was conditioned by a desire to be sure I was choosing law school for the right reasons. The fact that I truly enjoy reading through a 134-page legal document to answer a specific question or understand general regulations that apply to my firm has only made me more certain about law school.
I’ve also come to appreciate the counseling role played by so many working in the legal field. Working at a financial technology startup, I have firsthand experience with how nerve-wracking it can be to ensure that your company is satisfying regulations and working within the confines of the law. Although my episode with Finance Alberta has humorous elements, it also has a serious side: if we had followed the advice given us by the Ministry, we would have violated their rules and possibly been slapped with a fine. It might have resulted in me being fired somewhere down the line.
I have gained a deeper understanding for legal education and the legal profession through my work with [COMPANY]. I’ve always had a fascination with the law, but my job gave me the opportunity to actually interact with it in practical ways. Even further, I can now see the positive impact that lawyers can have – not just in a broad sense like helping expand civil rights, but also in a much narrower sense, like in guiding a tiny company that may have to contend with as many rules as a multinational enterprise. My passion for the law, combined with my desire to be genuinely helpful to others, has convinced me that law school is the right choice.