n/a Forum

[sparklepickle]

n/a

[bmathers]

I would honestly look into option #2.

[FayRays]

[quote="sparklepickle"]So I plan on writing about one of these, or potentially both:

To be honest you are both
you can't choose one story of the other one, I mean that what made you who you are..

the first story and the way you tell it, make anyone feel sad and bad.. I mean your way of describing your dreams is so heartbreaking.
but can't you find a way to incorporate both stories in one personal statement. the second one is definitely a good story, I guess if I am being practical I want to read the second story, but if I am being emotional I want the first story..

It would be great if you choose to incorporate both stories, start with your life with your mother, then your dreams of babies and then the shock of knowing you can't have kids of your own.. readers need the shock, that would make it reaction more intense and then if someone felt bad, your work with other mental kids will uplift his or her soul and make him/her think oh you did it, you found another purpose, another dream, you are unstoppable.

[benwyatt]

If the first one actually happened 10 days ago, you've got a problem because it seems like you're grasping at straws and looking for a way to throw a pity party for the admissions committee. The fact that you say this is all tied up in your identity and happened within a fortnight doesn't inspire confidence. I don't mean to be rude as I'm sure it's a very emotional thing, but that is one very negative interpretation they could get from that. I would also make sure that everything you include in the writing actually helps to advance the greater point you're trying to make. You're very descriptive and you clearly have information you want to convey, but I have no idea from the writing where that sample is going and you've already more than 200 words.

Your second option has more potential I think but you'd need to make sure it's not just restating your resume.

The advice I always give people is to think about what the admissions committee is already going to know about you from your transcripts, your LOR, your resume, etc. and decide what one thing you'd really like them to know isn't being shown, then write your PS about that.

Good luck.