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I'm sorry to hear about your brother, man. It has potential to be a good personal statement. There's 2 things I would focus on if you are looking to tailor this into a PS:

1. Its too dark. Try to build in more how you have overcome and faced the challenges.

2. How the challenges you have overcome have led you to want to be an attorney. Maybe you want to go into a field of law that relates to the story (drugs, health care, real estate, etc) There are certainly a lot of different paths you can take.

I think you could most certainly work on this and make it into a great PS.

HTH and good luck

Barack O'Drama wrote:I'm sorry to hear about your brother, man. It has potential to be a good personal statement. There's 2 things I would focus on if you are looking to tailor this into a PS:

1. Its too dark. Try to build in more how you have overcome and faced the challenges.

2. How the challenges you have overcome have led you to want to be an attorney. Maybe you want to go into a field of law that relates to the story (drugs, health care, real estate, etc) There are certainly a lot of different paths you can take.

I think you could most certainly work on this and make it into a great PS.

HTH and good luck

I mean...he's in recovery, so it's the best one can hope for currently. It helps - I appreciate it. I definitely agree with both of your points, especially the somberness and gloom... I'll revisit later on after I give it some time to have a little less recency in my mind for lack of a better term. I'm taking a bit of a break from it all to study for the LSAT, so I think that will give me some much needed space and such to reflect on it a bit better.

Ultimately, I would probably want to go into real estate law or some form of trust/wealth planning. It'd be great to help addicts, but, as an aside, I honestly don't think I could deal with that on a day to day basis.

Anonymous User wrote:

Barack O'Drama wrote:I'm sorry to hear about your brother, man. It has potential to be a good personal statement. There's 2 things I would focus on if you are looking to tailor this into a PS:

1. Its too dark. Try to build in more how you have overcome and faced the challenges.

2. How the challenges you have overcome have led you to want to be an attorney. Maybe you want to go into a field of law that relates to the story (drugs, health care, real estate, etc) There are certainly a lot of different paths you can take.

I think you could most certainly work on this and make it into a great PS.

HTH and good luck

I mean...he's in recovery, so it's the best one can hope for currently. It helps - I appreciate it. I definitely agree with both of your points, especially the somberness and gloom... I'll revisit later on after I give it some time to have a little less recency in my mind for lack of a better term. I'm taking a bit of a break from it all to study for the LSAT, so I think that will give me some much needed space and such to reflect on it a bit better.

Ultimately, I would probably want to go into real estate law or some form of trust/wealth planning. It'd be great to help addicts, but, as an aside, I honestly don't think I could deal with that on a day to day basis.

Also, I should have mentioned, you seem like a very good writer. I appreciated the way it was framed and the power behind it. May me really empathize with you and understand where you were coming from. Very personable.

I'm glad to hear that he is at least okay and hopefully getting better. And recovery is the best one can hope for after a scare like that. Hang in there man, you're obviously a strong dude and that's what is key to persevering through it all. And you could certainly tie your story with work experience and family life into why you want to go to law school. And as much as I would like to help addicts I just don't have it in me either.

Barack O'Drama wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

Barack O'Drama wrote:I'm sorry to hear about your brother, man. It has potential to be a good personal statement. There's 2 things I would focus on if you are looking to tailor this into a PS:

1. Its too dark. Try to build in more how you have overcome and faced the challenges.

2. How the challenges you have overcome have led you to want to be an attorney. Maybe you want to go into a field of law that relates to the story (drugs, health care, real estate, etc) There are certainly a lot of different paths you can take.

I think you could most certainly work on this and make it into a great PS.

HTH and good luck

I mean...he's in recovery, so it's the best one can hope for currently. It helps - I appreciate it. I definitely agree with both of your points, especially the somberness and gloom... I'll revisit later on after I give it some time to have a little less recency in my mind for lack of a better term. I'm taking a bit of a break from it all to study for the LSAT, so I think that will give me some much needed space and such to reflect on it a bit better.

Ultimately, I would probably want to go into real estate law or some form of trust/wealth planning. It'd be great to help addicts, but, as an aside, I honestly don't think I could deal with that on a day to day basis.

Also, I should have mentioned, you seem like a very good writer. I appreciated the way it was framed and the power behind it. May me really empathize with you and understand where you were coming from. Very personable.

I'm glad to hear that he is at least okay and hopefully getting better. And recovery is the best one can hope for after a scare like that. Hang in there man, you're obviously a strong dude and that's what is key to persevering through it all. And you could certainly tie your story with work experience and family life into why you want to go to law school. And as much as I would like to help addicts I just don't have it in me either.

I appreciate the feedback [i.e. too dark] and the compliments regarding the writing. If you are interested / don't mind looking over an updated version at some point, let me know and I will PM you an updated version after I let it sit for a bit. The only other thing I'd wonder is whether prose and more creative writing is frowned upon for a personal statement. Most of the writing I do is business writing, so this obviously deviates a great deal from that but is more representative of my natural writing style.

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