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Thanks all

Bump

I found it inspiring and convincing. Good luck!

Show, not tell. I would take out much of the first paragraph.

mynameismyname wrote:I found it inspiring and convincing. Good luck!

Great to hear! Thanks!

LawSchoolApp123321 wrote:Show, not tell. I would take out much of the first paragraph.

I've been thinking about this actually, but struggling to think of an alternate introduction. I don't think the current intro is bad, but I wrote a DS so I do t wanna come off as redundant.

I sent you a PM with some more detail.

The only thing missing for me, is why this all matters. I like the statement as it shows some great personal strength, but my personal preference is to put at least a paragraph in there explaining what this means for the study of law/the study of law at a particular institution.

Hope that makes sense.

hbaker712 wrote:I sent you a PM with some more detail.

The only thing missing for me, is why this all matters. I like the statement as it shows some great personal strength, but my personal preference is to put at least a paragraph in there explaining what this means for the study of law/the study of law at a particular institution.

Hope that makes sense.

Thanks again, hbaker . PM sent!

Made it through "somewhat deviated from" and stopped. No one says that. Don't use weird words / phrasing to try to sound smart.

kcdc1 wrote:Made it through "somewhat deviated from" and stopped. No one says that. Don't use weird words / phrasing to try to sound smart.

+1
Also, use more active voice.

Good advice regarding active voice, thanks