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Really appreciate all of the feedback. I've been editing this draft and taking your comments into consideration. I've stripped away the unnecessary and provided more clarity.

This is really well-written and has a nice choice of vocabulary. I would make the conclusion more detailed with regards to how you can contribute to the diversity of the law school you are applying to.

"Nail dystrophy on the other hand, refers to an infection of an individual’s fingernails, causing the nail to deteriorate over a period of time."

I don't like this sentence. You could write more simply, like: 'Nail dystrophy is an infection that causes one's fingernails to deteriorate over time.'

"My peak moment of self-discomfort came when a boy of my age refused to shake my hand in church as a result of my outward appearance. At that point I felt like an outsider in my own country. However, I found comfort in the words of my parents and my dermatologist who, oddly enough doubled as my therapist so to speak. They explained and crystallized the concept that when judging the character of an individual, one must look towards the inner qualities. To date, I continue to find this ideology consistently fruitful. "

This whole paragraph sounds a little weird. Your dermatologist, but not your parents, functioned as a therapist? And "therapist, so to speak"? Just use a more appropriate word here, like advisor, mentor, teacher, confidant, etc. Also, why should an admissions person care about your feelings about inner qualities? What does this have to do with you being a successful lawyer, or your contribution to diversity?

"Through my admission to (…..) I will improve the learning environment by assisting in the understanding of the fact that unequal opportunity many times arises from prejudice unbeknownst to the individual. I believe that through this improvement of understanding, we as a legal community will be able to improve upon the relations between the U.S. and other countries."

This is the first time you mention international relations, and it's a bit out of left field. Maybe this makes more sense with the personal statement.

^Got it!! Thank you. I have actually re-written the last two paragraphs so that it is more tailored to my main point of expressing diversity.