Deleted
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:48 am
Thank you!
For example:
would better be written as:At first we thought we might not have promoted our activities properly or that our topics had grown too old fashioned.
(Alternatively, you could use "old" instead of "stale". "Old fashioned" implies that your topics are decades, if not centuries out of date)At first we thought we might have promoted our activities improperly or that our topics had grown too stale.
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Another example:
would be better written as:As soon as I found these changes in the debating circle
As written, it is somewhat ambiguous.As soon as I came across these changes that were being implemented in the debating community
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You can use the well known term "double-elimination" to describe this arrangement. I don't think it's necessary to call it "double-elimination," but I would immediately understand what you were doing if you used the term.I drafted all possible arrangements and came up with a complicated system where losers were given a second opportunity to compete and move into the later rounds.
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I think you need more information at the end of the second paragraph. You have described the changes you observed, and then you talk about implementing them. There was an intermediate step that you don't discuss where you analyzed the changes and decided whether or not they were worth implementing in the Academic Center. Talk about that decision at the end of paragraph 2.
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I think you need more information after the first sentence of your closing paragraph. It's an abrupt transition from Academic Center to JD in America. I would add a sentence or two that discusses the skills that you developed in leading the Academic Center, and then tie those skills to your pursuit of a JD in America.
Overall, I think this is a strong PS, and you're just a few tweaks and additions away from having a great PS.
