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I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 6:14 pm
by Anonymous User
Deleted.
Re: I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:11 am
by CanadianWolf
This is written in the style used by many for a first or second draft. Too many details, too few significant insights. Much more like an essay on a college application than one for an advanced degree at a professional school.
Consider deleting the final paragraph.
OP: You should post your first version--which was excellent & clever in a subtle fashion--alongside this disaster & seek opinions.
After reading your first version, my opinion of you was very different than after reading this version.
Re: I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:29 am
by Anonymous User
CanadianWolf wrote:This is written in the style used by many for a first or second draft. Too many details, too few significant insights. Much more like an essay on a college application than one for an advanced degree at a professional school.
Consider deleting the final paragraph.
OP: You should post your first version--which was excellent & clever in a subtle fashion--alongside this disaster & seek opinions.
After reading your first version, my opinion of you was very different than after reading this version. (With respect to maturity & intellgence.)
Could you point out where I give too much detail please? It's just so many conflicting views on what should be in a ps and what should not. I like my original better too (it's really short though). I think the third paragraph can be gathered from my story. However, I have had suggestions to hit it directly on the head and to point out it's relation to why I want to practice law.
Re: I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:31 am
by CanadianWolf
I'll be brief, please do not submit this writing as your law school personal statement. Either use your first version which reflected the level of intelligence (& maturity) often found in Yale 250s, or pick a new topic.
Re: I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:46 am
by CanadianWolf
Your first version could, and should, be used as a diversity statement. Consider picking a new topic for your law school PS.
Re: I'm ready to apply already! Final draft help please!
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 3:12 pm
by Anonymous User
CanadianWolf wrote:Your first version could, and should, be used as a diversity statement. Consider picking a new topic for your law school PS.
Thanks for your help!!! I have a diversity statement, so I am just going to stick with this topic.