A Chinese girl need your help for PS
Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:23 pm
Hello dear friends, this is my PS.As a ESL student, there might be some mistakes in grammar and misuse of expression.And hope you can give me some advice about the logic and structure of the PS.Thank you very very much!!!!!
What influenced me most during my undergraduate work in law was not legal theory or ideology, but my 400 hours of volunteer work in a legal aid center and a pro bono case in my clinic class I handled. The experience thrilled me with the sense of achievement of helping others and inspired me to persist in the pursuit of social justice, no matter the obstacles.
The pro bono case in my clinic class I handled was about recovering the surgery fee for a injured migrant worker.His boss didn’t brought him insurance and denied him pay. The fee from hospital drained him and he had no additional money to pay a lawyer. It was my first case, and every time I sat down to work on it, I was haunted by the desperation I saw in his eyes. My friend and I worked diligently to collect every evidence and cite the law, including three sleepless days and nights before the trail. The boss’ lawyer disregarded us and even didn’t look us in the eyes because of our youth. But we astonished him with counterarguments for every point he made, plunged him into an atmosphere in which he even choked and spluttered.the case ended up with a complete victory and a howling cry of the worker.Two images remain in my mind: one, the unbelievable and shameful look on the lawyer’s face and another, our client limping toward us with his family, tears in their eyes. This was the first time during our month-long contact that his eyes expressed something other than pain, perhaps even hope. Judged both in complexity and amount of money, it was just a small case;but it provided a poor family with the urgent money for surgery to save the only labor, who is both a father, son and husband; and it inspired a young girl in her first exposure to law to be even more determined to practice law in her whole life.［how to express the ending in a more powerful way?}
Another formative experience for me was also in the legal aid center. A man with the weary look that all of our clients have, came to ask for our help. Unfortunately, as I researched how we could help him, I discover a vacuum in the system that meant we could not help him. The man was significantly distraught and yelled angrily, “Aren’t you here to help me?” Though the security guard led him out of the office immediately, I could not stop hearing his words. It inspired to me think about how to address these loopholes, vacuum and fix the system. I decided I need to study a successful system—i.e., in the United States, and specifically at [XX]university—for a model that works.［then, write about merits of each school]
What influenced me most during my undergraduate work in law was not legal theory or ideology, but my 400 hours of volunteer work in a legal aid center and a pro bono case in my clinic class I handled. The experience thrilled me with the sense of achievement of helping others and inspired me to persist in the pursuit of social justice, no matter the obstacles.
The pro bono case in my clinic class I handled was about recovering the surgery fee for a injured migrant worker.His boss didn’t brought him insurance and denied him pay. The fee from hospital drained him and he had no additional money to pay a lawyer. It was my first case, and every time I sat down to work on it, I was haunted by the desperation I saw in his eyes. My friend and I worked diligently to collect every evidence and cite the law, including three sleepless days and nights before the trail. The boss’ lawyer disregarded us and even didn’t look us in the eyes because of our youth. But we astonished him with counterarguments for every point he made, plunged him into an atmosphere in which he even choked and spluttered.the case ended up with a complete victory and a howling cry of the worker.Two images remain in my mind: one, the unbelievable and shameful look on the lawyer’s face and another, our client limping toward us with his family, tears in their eyes. This was the first time during our month-long contact that his eyes expressed something other than pain, perhaps even hope. Judged both in complexity and amount of money, it was just a small case;but it provided a poor family with the urgent money for surgery to save the only labor, who is both a father, son and husband; and it inspired a young girl in her first exposure to law to be even more determined to practice law in her whole life.［how to express the ending in a more powerful way?}
Another formative experience for me was also in the legal aid center. A man with the weary look that all of our clients have, came to ask for our help. Unfortunately, as I researched how we could help him, I discover a vacuum in the system that meant we could not help him. The man was significantly distraught and yelled angrily, “Aren’t you here to help me?” Though the security guard led him out of the office immediately, I could not stop hearing his words. It inspired to me think about how to address these loopholes, vacuum and fix the system. I decided I need to study a successful system—i.e., in the United States, and specifically at [XX]university—for a model that works.［then, write about merits of each school]
