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CanadianWolf wrote:Don't delete a single word.

LSATclincher wrote:If you need to cut, I'd take out the domestic violence stuff. Whatever edits you decide to make to it will be correct. Seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to convene and some great stories to tell.

Anonymous User wrote:."

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:If you need to cut, I'd take out the domestic violence stuff. Whatever edits you decide to make to it will be correct. Seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to convene and some great stories to tell.

I see. But due to the fact it was the catalyst for my decision to pursue law, is it possible that cutting that out may hurt my overall message?

LSATclincher wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:If you need to cut, I'd take out the domestic violence stuff. Whatever edits you decide to make to it will be correct. Seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to convene and some great stories to tell.

I see. But due to the fact it was the catalyst for my decision to pursue law, is it possible that cutting that out may hurt my overall message?

I think the medical stuff is better. It's a great overall statement, but DO NOT go over the page/word limit. If you have to cut, I'd rather cut the domestic stuff.

AReasonableMan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Actually, "trimmed" would be putting it rather mildly. It actually needs to be cut down by about half, as it is approximately twice as long as the limit allows. The issue I'm having is that I have had many experiences and periods of personal growth that I feel are very relevant in describing who I am today, what has inspired me to pursue law, etc.

As cliche as it sounds, I essentially just sat down and "wrote from the heart" until I didn't have much else to write. So, along with the much needed trim down, I need to polish my "transitions" from different time periods/topics, and I need a well-rounded conclusion.

Thank you in advance to those who offer advice, critique, etc.

"

I think it's superbly written, and follows a linear and logical line such that your reader will forgive you for disregarding the page limit.

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:If you need to cut, I'd take out the domestic violence stuff. Whatever edits you decide to make to it will be correct. Seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to convene and some great stories to tell.

I see. But due to the fact it was the catalyst for my decision to pursue law, is it possible that cutting that out may hurt my overall message?

I think the medical stuff is better. It's a great overall statement, but DO NOT go over the page/word limit. If you have to cut, I'd rather cut the domestic stuff.

Cut it out entirely, or just the bulk of it?

LSATclincher wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

LSATclincher wrote:If you need to cut, I'd take out the domestic violence stuff. Whatever edits you decide to make to it will be correct. Seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to convene and some great stories to tell.

I see. But due to the fact it was the catalyst for my decision to pursue law, is it possible that cutting that out may hurt my overall message?

I think the medical stuff is better. It's a great overall statement, but DO NOT go over the page/word limit. If you have to cut, I'd rather cut the domestic stuff.

Cut it out entirely, or just the bulk of it?

If you need to cut, i'd rather cut that than the early stuff. Honestly, I'm the wrong person to speak on the domestic violence stuff. You might want to ask a few female attorneys. I think it's a risky/touchy subject. You're early stuff is going to be more compelling than most PS's so that's all you may need to really focus on.

AReasonableMan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:

AReasonableMan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Actually, "trimmed" would be putting it rather mildly. It actually needs to be cut down by about half, as it is approximately twice as long as the limit allows. The issue I'm having is that I have had many experiences and periods of personal growth that I feel are very relevant in describing who I am today, what has inspired me to pursue law, etc.


Wow, thank you.

I think you can end it here:

Through my difficult experience, I have become deeply committed to one day being someone with the necessary influence and knowledge to help others in a similar way.

You don't need the cliff notes of your resume, and that stuff isn't as vivid or as personal.

I'd also change "through my difficult experience" to "Through my life experience, I have..." to wrap it up better, and show what it reads like you're trying to show - you've been wronged many times, and want to help others in a similar position instead of pigeonholing yourself into domestic violence pro bono.

CanadianWolf wrote:Don't delete a single word.

lawdawg18 wrote:I deleted my original post because I was looking at the join date and thought this was an old post....I need sleep, clearly, lol. I had a similar issue. My statement was over two pages and I was too attached to everything to let any of it go. At the suggestion of a friend who had a good experience, I worked with an editor on Fivver and was surprised with the results. She edited my statement down to a page and it ended up concisely reflecting exactly what I was trying to communicate. I dont remember her username but I think her tagline is something like the Personal Statement Jedi. That might be helpful.

AReasonableMan wrote:

Anonymous User wrote:Actually, "trimmed" would be putting it rather mildly. It actually needs to be cut down by about half, as it is approximately twice as long as the limit allows. The issue I'm having is that I have had many experiences and periods of personal growth that I feel are very relevant in describing who I am today, what has inspired me to pursue law, etc.

As cliche as it sounds, I essentially just sat down and "wrote from the heart" until I didn't have much else to write. So, along with the much needed trim down, I need to polish my "transitions" from different time periods/topics, and I need a well-rounded conclusion.

Thank you in advance to those who offer advice, critique, etc.

violence."

I think it's superbly written, and follows a linear and logical line such that your reader will forgive you for disregarding the page limit.