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Deleted

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:46 pm
by Cubank
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Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 8:10 pm
by Cubank
Nothing??? Please guys....Im trying to send out apps when the October score comes out.

Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 8:15 pm
by CanadianWolf
Delete the reference to dog feces if you want folks to take you seriously.

Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 8:24 pm
by Cubank
CanadianWolf wrote:Delete the reference to dog feces if you want folks to take you seriously.
Will do, thanks. Any other suggestions?

Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 10:49 am
by CanadianWolf
Try "...stray dogs and their litter on the sidewalks."

No other suggestions because the grittiness & harsh reality comes through in a convincing fashion as written.

I suggested that you delete that reference because sometimes shock items in a communication are difficult to forget & you do not want to be remembered as the "dog waste" applicant. Otherwise, you've produced a very effective & memorable diversity statement. Good luck.

Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 9:06 pm
by Cubank
I agree that the added imagery isnt worth risking that scenario. Thanks again for the input.