Revisions following the first critique.
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:45 am
I previously posted the rough draft and used the critiques to create this. Please point out any grammar errors, spelling errors, things to omit, things to possibly add, etc.
It was September of 2011, I was a Paralegal Specialist in the Army and stationed in Germany. The current manager of the regional claims office had disrespected a highly ranked officer and was going to be removed from the position. I overheard my supervisor receive a phone call in his office and then shut the door. Shortly after the call ended he walked down to Captain (Name)’s office. Captain (Name) was the head lawyer and responsible for personnel and assigning us to jobs. I didn’t know it at the time, but the conversation they had would be about me taking on the position.
I had worked in my position as the administrative law paralegal for about 7 months. At first I enjoyed the position very much, but I eventually outgrew it. It was very repetitive and the tasks had become mundane. The daily responsibilities were meant for lower ranked soldiers to complete while a supervisor ensured and double checked it was done correctly. It’s a great system for a newly enlisted paralegal to gain knowledge, but I was experienced and eager for more of a challenge.
My supervisor returned just a short time later and told me that Captain (Name) needed someone to become the manager of the claims office. He said that he gave his recommendation that I would be able handle the responsibility and was qualified for the position. My supervisor told me that even though the position was two pay grades above mine, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that I could do it. It felt good to know that my superiors felt so highly of me and had recognized my hard work, it was also empowering to know that they trusted me with running an office as important as claims. There were 6 other paralegals that could have filled the position, but I was their first choice. There wasn’t a singular emotion to describe the way I felt. I was thrilled and anxious, but also overcome with joy and felt a sense of gratitude for the opportunity. I had been in the Army for 3 years at this point, I had deployed to Iraq and worked in different areas of the JAG Corps, but never had my own office to run. I was ready to take on this responsibility and progress to the next stage of my career.
“Specialist (Name), come on in and have a seat.” Captain (Name) said. “There was an incident over at the claims office and I need someone to take on the position. I had a talk with Sergeant First Class (Name) and he informed me that you are more than ready for the job.” As he is talking I sat anxiously on the edge of my seat. “I wouldn’t even consider you for the position if I didn’t agree with him. You’ve done a great job thus far and you’re ready for the next step. The person being removed is a rank above you and the position is a couple of ranks higher as well, so let that be an indication of how much confidence I have in your abilities. You are the stand out option and can handle it. Before I place you there, I want to you to confirm that this is what you want. Would you like the position?” he asked.
I quickly replied, “Most definitely, Sir.”
This was going to be the first time that I had exclusive responsibility within the JAG Corps. I had worked in military justice assisting attorneys with prosecuting cases. I had worked in legal assistance, which also entailed assisting attorneys so they could successfully help clients. Before this position as claims manager, my jobs and tasks were supplementary for the person over me who would ultimately be responsible for the finished product. I didn’t have a problem with assisting, but there was only so much I could do before it had to be handed off and finally finished by someone else. There was no feeling of accomplishment or triumph. This regional claims office was going to rest directly on my shoulders for any good or bad that happened, and there was a great sense of challenge there. I was responsible for fully investigating claims, documenting my findings, ensuring the paper work was submitted properly, and finally paying out the appropriate amount on behalf of the U.S. government. I had to be the face of the Army when people would come in distraught and upset. I had to deal in very hasty situations while conducting myself using the best approach. Quick and logical thinking were essential to being successful. I helped a lot of people in very chaotic times, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being able to add relief to their situations. The position wasn’t just ensuring that clients would be paid back, but also effectively communicating with them. I had to be able to read their body language, tone, and behavior; and based on that customize the way I conducted myself to properly do my job. This was my first position that I was able to feel like I was making a difference in the lives of others. Using my intellect and abilities of problem solving was rewarding. While I always did my best, there were still a few times that I made mistakes – and I came to learn that this was okay. I learned that not everyone is perfect, no matter how hard you try. Mistakes are made and solutions are found. It wasn’t the mistakes that ultimately mattered, it was how they were resolved that would resonate with people to define the type of person you were. Having the modesty to admit to mistakes is indispensable to success.
After working in the position for 6 months I was invited to attend the United States Army Europe Command Claims conference. Claims conferences were annual and typically for newly appointed lawyers within claims offices all over Europe to meet and train with more experienced claims personnel. Usually the speakers were Officers ranked from Captain to Colonel and had worked in claims for at least 5 years. As a Specialist, which is low ranked in comparison, I was invited to speak about my experience and tell my story of working in claims to encourage new personnel.
Taking the position was a choice I have never regret. There wasn’t a week that went by that two situations were one in the same, and that is what kept the job stimulating. I gained valuable people skills and worked in a different field of JAG that I hadn’t before. I was humbled and learned valuable lessons that I still use and apply. I found that being a dedicated student, not just in academia, but in life is necessary to thrive. Looking for the lesson in every situation and adding it to my repertoire is what creates value, not just in the situation but in me as a person. It took a balance of perseverance and dedication with some added humility to be successful. Being devoted and always willing to learn is what makes things worthwhile. I’m ready to apply this formula to thrive in law school.
It was September of 2011, I was a Paralegal Specialist in the Army and stationed in Germany. The current manager of the regional claims office had disrespected a highly ranked officer and was going to be removed from the position. I overheard my supervisor receive a phone call in his office and then shut the door. Shortly after the call ended he walked down to Captain (Name)’s office. Captain (Name) was the head lawyer and responsible for personnel and assigning us to jobs. I didn’t know it at the time, but the conversation they had would be about me taking on the position.
I had worked in my position as the administrative law paralegal for about 7 months. At first I enjoyed the position very much, but I eventually outgrew it. It was very repetitive and the tasks had become mundane. The daily responsibilities were meant for lower ranked soldiers to complete while a supervisor ensured and double checked it was done correctly. It’s a great system for a newly enlisted paralegal to gain knowledge, but I was experienced and eager for more of a challenge.
My supervisor returned just a short time later and told me that Captain (Name) needed someone to become the manager of the claims office. He said that he gave his recommendation that I would be able handle the responsibility and was qualified for the position. My supervisor told me that even though the position was two pay grades above mine, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that I could do it. It felt good to know that my superiors felt so highly of me and had recognized my hard work, it was also empowering to know that they trusted me with running an office as important as claims. There were 6 other paralegals that could have filled the position, but I was their first choice. There wasn’t a singular emotion to describe the way I felt. I was thrilled and anxious, but also overcome with joy and felt a sense of gratitude for the opportunity. I had been in the Army for 3 years at this point, I had deployed to Iraq and worked in different areas of the JAG Corps, but never had my own office to run. I was ready to take on this responsibility and progress to the next stage of my career.
“Specialist (Name), come on in and have a seat.” Captain (Name) said. “There was an incident over at the claims office and I need someone to take on the position. I had a talk with Sergeant First Class (Name) and he informed me that you are more than ready for the job.” As he is talking I sat anxiously on the edge of my seat. “I wouldn’t even consider you for the position if I didn’t agree with him. You’ve done a great job thus far and you’re ready for the next step. The person being removed is a rank above you and the position is a couple of ranks higher as well, so let that be an indication of how much confidence I have in your abilities. You are the stand out option and can handle it. Before I place you there, I want to you to confirm that this is what you want. Would you like the position?” he asked.
I quickly replied, “Most definitely, Sir.”
This was going to be the first time that I had exclusive responsibility within the JAG Corps. I had worked in military justice assisting attorneys with prosecuting cases. I had worked in legal assistance, which also entailed assisting attorneys so they could successfully help clients. Before this position as claims manager, my jobs and tasks were supplementary for the person over me who would ultimately be responsible for the finished product. I didn’t have a problem with assisting, but there was only so much I could do before it had to be handed off and finally finished by someone else. There was no feeling of accomplishment or triumph. This regional claims office was going to rest directly on my shoulders for any good or bad that happened, and there was a great sense of challenge there. I was responsible for fully investigating claims, documenting my findings, ensuring the paper work was submitted properly, and finally paying out the appropriate amount on behalf of the U.S. government. I had to be the face of the Army when people would come in distraught and upset. I had to deal in very hasty situations while conducting myself using the best approach. Quick and logical thinking were essential to being successful. I helped a lot of people in very chaotic times, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being able to add relief to their situations. The position wasn’t just ensuring that clients would be paid back, but also effectively communicating with them. I had to be able to read their body language, tone, and behavior; and based on that customize the way I conducted myself to properly do my job. This was my first position that I was able to feel like I was making a difference in the lives of others. Using my intellect and abilities of problem solving was rewarding. While I always did my best, there were still a few times that I made mistakes – and I came to learn that this was okay. I learned that not everyone is perfect, no matter how hard you try. Mistakes are made and solutions are found. It wasn’t the mistakes that ultimately mattered, it was how they were resolved that would resonate with people to define the type of person you were. Having the modesty to admit to mistakes is indispensable to success.
After working in the position for 6 months I was invited to attend the United States Army Europe Command Claims conference. Claims conferences were annual and typically for newly appointed lawyers within claims offices all over Europe to meet and train with more experienced claims personnel. Usually the speakers were Officers ranked from Captain to Colonel and had worked in claims for at least 5 years. As a Specialist, which is low ranked in comparison, I was invited to speak about my experience and tell my story of working in claims to encourage new personnel.
Taking the position was a choice I have never regret. There wasn’t a week that went by that two situations were one in the same, and that is what kept the job stimulating. I gained valuable people skills and worked in a different field of JAG that I hadn’t before. I was humbled and learned valuable lessons that I still use and apply. I found that being a dedicated student, not just in academia, but in life is necessary to thrive. Looking for the lesson in every situation and adding it to my repertoire is what creates value, not just in the situation but in me as a person. It took a balance of perseverance and dedication with some added humility to be successful. Being devoted and always willing to learn is what makes things worthwhile. I’m ready to apply this formula to thrive in law school.