Diversity Statement style question
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2015 10:19 pm
My diversity statement is written in the third person and, while I think the style is more appealing, I am not sure if it might be too much. In addition if anyone would like to critique the piece in its entirety that would be amazing, but the most important thing is whether or not this is alright. Thank you in advance!!!
Having come home from school a young boy and his two siblings sat down on the living room couch at the request of their parents. Not understanding the reason, the three children sat quietly and waited for an explanation. “We wanted to let you know that things just aren’t working out between us anymore,” said their mother, “and we’re getting a divorce,” completed the father. “It’s not any of your faults. We just can’t seem to get along anymore,” they said. The shock to the three children was palpable. Mom and dad had never fought before. How could this possibly be? Is that why dad was sleeping downstairs these days? Was there someone else?
Soon after the children learned that there was, in fact, another party involved. Her name was Aristocrat and it soon became apparent that the relationship between this new woman and the father had not only gone on for a while, but would continue to do so for even longer still. The father soon moved in with his parents, where the affair continued as his kids grew older. For 9 years the father grew closer to his new love as he alienated himself from wife, friends, and children.
In that time he has lost his family, home, ability to walk, and at times his will to live. Meanwhile the children, once ignorant and innocent, now grew up with the help of one another. Their mother with whom they lived could never hold down a job but somehow was also seldom home. Eventually they moved in with other family, the oldest at one aunts and the others another.
The oldest child, Jefferey Phillips, graduates from Alabama in May. The youngest will graduate high school and the middle child is in his sophomore year of college. Jeff hopes to afford an apartment for the summers where the siblings can live together when they are all back home.
Having come home from school a young boy and his two siblings sat down on the living room couch at the request of their parents. Not understanding the reason, the three children sat quietly and waited for an explanation. “We wanted to let you know that things just aren’t working out between us anymore,” said their mother, “and we’re getting a divorce,” completed the father. “It’s not any of your faults. We just can’t seem to get along anymore,” they said. The shock to the three children was palpable. Mom and dad had never fought before. How could this possibly be? Is that why dad was sleeping downstairs these days? Was there someone else?
Soon after the children learned that there was, in fact, another party involved. Her name was Aristocrat and it soon became apparent that the relationship between this new woman and the father had not only gone on for a while, but would continue to do so for even longer still. The father soon moved in with his parents, where the affair continued as his kids grew older. For 9 years the father grew closer to his new love as he alienated himself from wife, friends, and children.
In that time he has lost his family, home, ability to walk, and at times his will to live. Meanwhile the children, once ignorant and innocent, now grew up with the help of one another. Their mother with whom they lived could never hold down a job but somehow was also seldom home. Eventually they moved in with other family, the oldest at one aunts and the others another.
The oldest child, Jefferey Phillips, graduates from Alabama in May. The youngest will graduate high school and the middle child is in his sophomore year of college. Jeff hopes to afford an apartment for the summers where the siblings can live together when they are all back home.