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Deleted. Fixing up some things.

I really like this essay! But it reads as more of an undergrad PS than a law school PS, to me. I think your writing is well-constructed, and it flows nicely, especially for a first draft, but I kept waiting to hear some connection of why you want to go to law school. That said, I think some admissions officers and law school advice gurus out there say they don't mind if a personal statement doesn't directly relate to what moved you to want to practice law. But my hunch is that most law school admissions officers want to see your story tied in some way to why you want to go to law school. Would you be able to do that with this essay? If not, I think this could make a wonderful DS.

Another idea: from this sentence "What is customary is not always the way that things should be." you could branch off into an essay that could align well with wanting to create change within the legal system (if that is indeed what you want to do)...

Thanks so much for your feedback. Eventually it will tie into the type of law I want to practice (public interest) but not actually why I want to practice law. I just didn't want to get that far, if it is not a good idea. I'm not completely sold on this idea, but I think I want a combined ps and ds... Is that a bad idea? I know some schools tell you to do that anyway.

Two sentences too long. Delete the two final sentences & you have a solid PS.

You write well. This, with a bit of editing, could be a Yale 250.

P.S. "wear", not "where my hair silky straight"

You're lost because you are trying too hard to add to a well written metaphor. Just delete the final two sentences & muster up the courage to be different by sending in this clever & enjoyable work as your law school PS.

Thank you so much for your advice! I am really surprised that my topic seems to be interesting. I am still trying to decide if I should let this serve as my PS and DS or write a separate DS.

In my opinion, this is an effective law school PS that could also be a DS. As to whether or not it should be submitted as both is up to you, but, based on what you have shared so far, I would like to read more of your work.