Personal Statement- First Draft Forum

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FastRun

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Personal Statement- First Draft

Post by FastRun » Thu Sep 24, 2015 4:10 pm

Deleted.
Last edited by FastRun on Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Scalvert

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Re: Personal Statement- First Draft

Post by Scalvert » Thu Sep 24, 2015 5:46 pm

Change "complimentary" to "complementary."

It feels a little too long, so you might consider editing some "sciency" detail. It's unnecessary. It's apparent that you're very bright, but some might question whether or not you'd be bored studying law.

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3pianists

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Re: Personal Statement- First Draft

Post by 3pianists » Thu Sep 24, 2015 7:37 pm

I'm far from an expert on personal statements, so take this with a boulder of salt.

I heard two reasons why you want to attend law school: because you've always been interested in law, and because the research scientist's role in developing therapeutic remedies takes too much patience. I question whether you want impatience to be one of the primary personal characteristics you present to the admissions committees.

Focusing on those points can help you shorten your essay. And once it's more focused, you might develop the introduction more, painting a more vivid picture of how you chose mock trial over a more traditional spring break trip.

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