Page 1 of 1
C&F Critique Needed
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 1:16 pm
by Anonymous User
---------------
Re: C&F Critique Needed
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:57 pm
by Widdle_Dumpling
The second sentence in the last paragraph (As a military...of such behavior) is a little hard to read. As it is, it suggests that you understand the necessity of detrimental effects, which is not what you meant to say, I think. I'd suggest reworking it into two separate sentences, cutting out the parenthetical (-and required...for them-) and putting it somewhere else. If you keep the last part of that sentence, remove the "of" in front of "the detrimental effects."
Good luck!
Re: C&F Critique Needed
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:21 pm
by A. Nony Mouse
I think he just needs to omit the second "of" and the sentence would be fine.
Re: C&F Critique Needed
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 12:48 pm
by CanadianWolf
"Theft of services" & "false information" violations will probably trigger a request for more detailed information. Any such requests may ask for full details about all of your reported transgressions, therefore, you may want to stop a full inquiry by addressing the most serious infractions upfront.
Re: C&F Critique Needed
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 1:40 pm
by Anonymous User
Thank you all - points well taken.
Unfortunately in 2014 my UG dumped my physical record containing details, and I'd only be guessing if I tried to remember what exactly happened. I guess I'll move that point up front to try to make it clear.