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my PS draft...need help

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:47 am
by hannahv246
hhh

Re: my PS draft...need help

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:26 am
by CanadianWolf
After a very quick read:

"patience", not "patients"

The second sentence of the fourth paragraph needs work. Probably best to just delete this sentence.

The final paragraph needs to be condensed.

Re: my PS draft...need help

Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:41 pm
by Scalvert
Hannah, I sent some edits your way in a PM so I could avoid quoting.