Top Law Schools

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There's nothing risky about it. Needs a lot of work though.

First paragraph: Every top law school places well into firms. It's not awful to talk about this if you have nothing else to say, but it's not a reason to go to M over other top schools. The summer start is unique, but if you think it's good then say so, and say you would like to start then. Indecision is not attractive.

Second paragraph: It's great to briefly mention you're a wolverine fan towards the end, but leave out the Harbaugh part, and there is no need for you to point out that you're not making a rational decision. Not going to help you. Present yourself as a mature, informed, rational adult. Likewise, a friendly admissions staff is a bad reason to pick a law school.

Third paragraph: If you can't picture yourself being happier anywhere else, then why is it only "among" your top choices?

This isn't risky, but it is bad. Going to a school because of the impression the admissions office (a tiny tiny part of the school) left you while dinging you last year is absurd. It reads as really pandering and insincere and would leave a really weak impression on me.

like I'd be actively put off by this.

Lol I appreciate the honesty