Nearly Final Draft--Comments Appreciated
Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2014 12:48 pm
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If you're trying to communicate the simplicity of the Cabin and the quiet ways in which your experiences there have nudged you toward the pursuit of a legal education, your language should mirror that simplicity. Unnecessarily big words mar the otherwise good writing. Write more simply. Communicate your intelligence through the quality of your reflection (which needs to improved) and the perfection of your phrasing, pacing, and grammar (which can always be improved).
That said, if you're going to stake your whole personal statement around the Cabin, reflect more deeply, understand more, and communicate that understanding more clearly.