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Personal Statement Draft
Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 5:04 pm
by Anonymous User
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Thanks everyone!
Re: Personal Statement Draft
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:30 pm
by Anonymous User
Bump.
Re: Personal Statement Draft
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:41 pm
by RCSOB657
Sorry not sure how to help here. It can play I suppose, sounds genuine. Nothing I can see stands out as anything I've heard adcoms advise against saying. YMMW
Re: Personal Statement Draft
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:45 pm
by swampman
Personally I like the story, but it's definitely on the riskier end of personal statements. If you're okay with that, then the suggestion I would make is to strengthen the last two paragraphs. A big weakness is that the story doesn't lead to a big "aha, that's why he wants to be a lawyer" moment. It's not my story, so I can't give you much advice on how to make that leap. A starting point might be expanding on what you mean by the "I might protect the rights of some family" sentence. Envision yourself as a lawyer - what exactly do you want to be doing?