Please help my personal statement
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:27 pm
Like most young guys growing up in the Balkans, I took more than a passing interest in Rod Stewart. My loins throbbed for him, throbbingly, as only loins can do. But that's not the point, really.
It all started with oil. But then I realized that staring at posters of Rod Stewart all day and mentally answering his inquiries about whether I think he's sexy or whether I should leave Virginia alone because she's not like you and me got old, so I dropped out of my Soviet-style cinder-block high school and joined a band of Gypsies which took to the road and peddled wares through all of Eastern Europe. During my time with the Travelers, I learned a lot about the world, like who you can trust, who might buy you a bottle of hooch if you give them the right kind of wink, where people keep their wallets, and why centaurs are so oddly erotic. It was a formative part of my life. It was cold. It was Bratislava at its finest and truest.
But then a time came when I knew I had to make a change. What happened specifically was that during a pocket-picking trip near Vienna I separated from the troop to go get some air in a nearby field when I saw a shape passing through the trees. A large, hairy shape, one not at all like my boyhood idol, the American pop icon Rod Stewart. I hadn't seen him before, but I knew it was him nonetheless: Bigfoot. The Yeti. The Abominable Snowman. I'd heard stories of him in my boyhood, but in my boyhood I'd heard stories about a lot of things (including, mainly, what happened in Turkish washrooms of ill repute.) But there he was in the flesh (and fur). I told my friends and family in the Gypsy troupe but they didn't believe me, they said that Bigfoot was fake or else confined entirely to certain parts of the North American continent, and furthermore that I should focus on important things, like krokodil.
So I knew after I finished my bachelor's degree that I had to go to law school in the U.S. so that I could see Sasquatches where they live in their natural habitat, which is why I belong at Gonzaga. Furthermore, I have participated in many extracurricular activities, like a fraternity.
It all started with oil. But then I realized that staring at posters of Rod Stewart all day and mentally answering his inquiries about whether I think he's sexy or whether I should leave Virginia alone because she's not like you and me got old, so I dropped out of my Soviet-style cinder-block high school and joined a band of Gypsies which took to the road and peddled wares through all of Eastern Europe. During my time with the Travelers, I learned a lot about the world, like who you can trust, who might buy you a bottle of hooch if you give them the right kind of wink, where people keep their wallets, and why centaurs are so oddly erotic. It was a formative part of my life. It was cold. It was Bratislava at its finest and truest.
But then a time came when I knew I had to make a change. What happened specifically was that during a pocket-picking trip near Vienna I separated from the troop to go get some air in a nearby field when I saw a shape passing through the trees. A large, hairy shape, one not at all like my boyhood idol, the American pop icon Rod Stewart. I hadn't seen him before, but I knew it was him nonetheless: Bigfoot. The Yeti. The Abominable Snowman. I'd heard stories of him in my boyhood, but in my boyhood I'd heard stories about a lot of things (including, mainly, what happened in Turkish washrooms of ill repute.) But there he was in the flesh (and fur). I told my friends and family in the Gypsy troupe but they didn't believe me, they said that Bigfoot was fake or else confined entirely to certain parts of the North American continent, and furthermore that I should focus on important things, like krokodil.
So I knew after I finished my bachelor's degree that I had to go to law school in the U.S. so that I could see Sasquatches where they live in their natural habitat, which is why I belong at Gonzaga. Furthermore, I have participated in many extracurricular activities, like a fraternity.