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Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:29 pm
by luuma
Thanks all.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:32 pm
by arklaw13
Nope.

You're trying to convince them to admit you. Focus on your strengths. You don't need to remind them of all the reasons they might not admit you. Also don't restate your resume. This is a personal statement. Make it personal.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:36 pm
by luuma
arklaw13 wrote:Nope.

You're trying to convince them to admit you. Focus on your strengths. You don't need to remind them of all the reasons they might not admit you. Also don't restate your resume. This is a personal statement. Make it personal.
Wait - this isn't my personal statement, it's my addendum.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:53 pm
by Godric32
What's your personal statement about? This seems like a little long for a diversity statement.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:54 pm
by arklaw13
luuma wrote:
arklaw13 wrote:Nope.

You're trying to convince them to admit you. Focus on your strengths. You don't need to remind them of all the reasons they might not admit you. Also don't restate your resume. This is a personal statement. Make it personal.
Wait - this isn't my personal statement, it's my addendum.
oops

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:56 pm
by luuma
Godric32 wrote:What's your personal statement about? This seems like a little long for a diversity statement.

This isn't a diversity or personal statement.

It's an addendum to address my academic record. Usually an addendum is used to address any issues on your application or anything that might cause doubt for the admissions committee.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:57 pm
by ChemEng1642
I am confused. Is is this a diversity statement or an addendum.

If it is a diversity statement, you really want to focus less on "I had inadequate understanding of standardized tests/education because of my upbringing" and more on "this is how I overcame my lack of education on standardized tests, etc. and these experiences will give me a unique perspective at your law school". I don't think this much negativity and honestly - excuse making - sounds good in DS. It doesn't paint a clear picture of what you learnt and why your background would make you a good candidate.

If this is an addendum it is way too long. LSAT/GPA addendum should be succinct and without fluff. Since you have an upward trend in your GPA I'm not even sure that you really need the addendum.

If I were you I would get rid of the addendum sounding explanations and focus more on the experience of your socioeconomic background and how that made you the person you are today. You want try to put yourself as much in a positive light as possible and here it just sounds like you are trying to explain away your initial lower grades.

Edit: Posted this before I saw your post. See addendum notes.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:00 pm
by luuma
ChemEng1642 wrote:I am confused. Is is this a diversity statement or an addendum.

If it is a diversity statement, you really want to focus less on "I had inadequate understanding of standardized tests/education because of my upbringing" and more on "this is how I overcame my lack of education on standardized tests, etc. and these experiences will give me a unique perspective at your law school". I don't think this much negativity and honestly - excuse making - sounds good in DS. It doesn't paint a clear picture of what you learnt and why your background would make you a good candidate.

If this is an addendum it is way too long. LSAT/GPA addendum should be succinct and without fluff. Since you have an upward trend in your GPA I'm not even sure that you really need the addendum.

If I were you I would get rid of the addendum sounding explanations and focus more on the experience of your socioeconomic background and how that made you the person you are today. You want try to put yourself as much in a positive light as possible and here it just sounds like you are trying to explain away your initial lower grades.

Edit: Posted this before I saw your post. See addendum notes.
Thanks, but even during the end I had gaps between semesters. I'm feeling conflicted on whether addressing them will help or just remind them of my application flaws.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:07 pm
by havemercylorde
luuma wrote:
ChemEng1642 wrote:I am confused. Is is this a diversity statement or an addendum.

If it is a diversity statement, you really want to focus less on "I had inadequate understanding of standardized tests/education because of my upbringing" and more on "this is how I overcame my lack of education on standardized tests, etc. and these experiences will give me a unique perspective at your law school". I don't think this much negativity and honestly - excuse making - sounds good in DS. It doesn't paint a clear picture of what you learnt and why your background would make you a good candidate.

If this is an addendum it is way too long. LSAT/GPA addendum should be succinct and without fluff. Since you have an upward trend in your GPA I'm not even sure that you really need the addendum.

If I were you I would get rid of the addendum sounding explanations and focus more on the experience of your socioeconomic background and how that made you the person you are today. You want try to put yourself as much in a positive light as possible and here it just sounds like you are trying to explain away your initial lower grades.

Edit: Posted this before I saw your post. See addendum notes.
Thanks, but even during the end I had gaps between semesters. I'm feeling conflicted on whether addressing them will help or just remind them of my application flaws.
I think this is dece and you start to make a good argument toward the end when you discuss how you corrected this, but it would be better if it were shorter, sweeter and more to the point, and save the fluffier stuff for a diversity statement.

Basically:

* Here's what I did wrong
* Here's why
* Not excusing myself
* Here are the steps I took to correct it

You have this structure in general just need to tighten it up a lot and get an edit-happy friend to look at it (saw some grammatical stuff in here that could use cleaning up).

(Edited for grammar lol)

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:10 pm
by Godric32
If you have that many "bumps and dents" on your record you might briefly address them, but since they seem to have occurred so long ago, I am not sure it's even worth addressing. I think this might end up hurting you more.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:12 pm
by luuma
havemercylorde wrote:
luuma wrote:
ChemEng1642 wrote:I am confused. Is is this a diversity statement or an addendum.

If it is a diversity statement, you really want to focus less on "I had inadequate understanding of standardized tests/education because of my upbringing" and more on "this is how I overcame my lack of education on standardized tests, etc. and these experiences will give me a unique perspective at your law school". I don't think this much negativity and honestly - excuse making - sounds good in DS. It doesn't paint a clear picture of what you learnt and why your background would make you a good candidate.

If this is an addendum it is way too long. LSAT/GPA addendum should be succinct and without fluff. Since you have an upward trend in your GPA I'm not even sure that you really need the addendum.

If I were you I would get rid of the addendum sounding explanations and focus more on the experience of your socioeconomic background and how that made you the person you are today. You want try to put yourself as much in a positive light as possible and here it just sounds like you are trying to explain away your initial lower grades.

Edit: Posted this before I saw your post. See addendum notes.
Thanks, but even during the end I had gaps between semesters. I'm feeling conflicted on whether addressing them will help or just remind them of my application flaws.
I think this is dece and you start to make a good argument toward the end when you discuss how you corrected this, but it would be better if it were shorter, sweeter and more to the point, and save the fluffier stuff for a diversity statement.

Basically:

* Here's what I did wrong
* Here's why
* Not excusing myself
* Here are the steps I took to correct it

You have this structure in general just need to tighten it up a lot and get an edit-happy friend to look at it (saw some grammatical stuff in here that could use cleaning up).

(Edited for grammar lol)
Hey, thanks so much! I will take your advice to make it shorter and sweeter. Would you believe when I first started it was 4 pages?

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:13 pm
by luuma
Godric32 wrote:If you have that many "bumps and dents" on your record you might briefly address them, but since they seem to have occurred so long ago, I am not sure it's even worth addressing. I think this might end up hurting you more.
That is a dilemma I am facing with this... Whether it will hurt if I submit an addendum or not.

Re: Super rough draft... Addendum - Too much?

Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:21 pm
by ChemEng1642
luuma wrote:
ChemEng1642 wrote:I am confused. Is is this a diversity statement or an addendum.

If it is a diversity statement, you really want to focus less on "I had inadequate understanding of standardized tests/education because of my upbringing" and more on "this is how I overcame my lack of education on standardized tests, etc. and these experiences will give me a unique perspective at your law school". I don't think this much negativity and honestly - excuse making - sounds good in DS. It doesn't paint a clear picture of what you learnt and why your background would make you a good candidate.

If this is an addendum it is way too long. LSAT/GPA addendum should be succinct and without fluff. Since you have an upward trend in your GPA I'm not even sure that you really need the addendum.

If I were you I would get rid of the addendum sounding explanations and focus more on the experience of your socioeconomic background and how that made you the person you are today. You want try to put yourself as much in a positive light as possible and here it just sounds like you are trying to explain away your initial lower grades.

Edit: Posted this before I saw your post. See addendum notes.
Thanks, but even during the end I had gaps between semesters. I'm feeling conflicted on whether addressing them will help or just remind them of my application flaws.
Between semesters? As in you took a semester off? I don't remember that being addressed in your statement but maybe I missed it. Also I am concerned that your "I had poor grades to start with because I didn't know how the financial aid rules worked" is not going to sound good to adcoms. I don't think a lack of knowledge about the rules is a sufficient reason for an addendum, or even a good one for that matter.

I would honestly just consider writing an addendum for the things you really have to explain (semesters off, etc.) and write a diversity statement focusing on your socioeconomic status and how you overcame it in a positive light. Adcoms will make the connection between that and your "volatile" grades without you overtly saying it