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1st rough draft. Any help would be appreciated

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:36 pm
by Anonymous User
Removed

Re: 1st rough draft. Any help would be appreciated

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:44 am
by hillz
I think your topic is good and has the potential to be powerful. That said, it seems a little generic and doesn't make any connection between your experience and why you want to go to law school.

Re: 1st rough draft. Any help would be appreciated

Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:25 pm
by HRomanus
Topic is generic and the writing is boring. The experience is fertile ground for a great personal statement, but you need a more compelling hook and stronger, more emphatic writing. Unlike above poster said, you don't need to connect it to "Why Law;" in fact, doing so would probably harm this topic. You're writing to demonstrate your best character traits through a compelling experience - just do that well and you're perfect.