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Is this any good? Please feel free to offer suggestions

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:13 pm
by Anonymous User
As a former foster child, I feel extremely fortunate for the opportunities I’ve had. Some of the opportunities have been earned solely by me, but the majority of them have been earned with the help and guidance of my adoptive parents. Without them I would not be the person I am today. I didn’t realize until I was older how much I truly took for granted. I also realize that I’m in a position to help those less fortunate than me, who may not have had the same support or nurturing environment that I was adopted into at the age of eleven. It’s due to this realization that one of my strongest ambitions as an attorney is to participate in pro-bono work.

As an attorney, I will conduct pro-bono work for those who can’t financially afford an attorney. The two specific groups of people I would like to help are adoptive parents and juveniles. I’d like to represent parents who want to adopt a child, but can’t afford the attorney and court fees. I believe this would help find more adoptive homes for foster children, which may lead to higher graduation rates for former foster children (currently only two percent of former foster children have graduated college). The second group I would like to represent through pro-bono is underprivileged juveniles who have been charged with a crime. In 2007, a judge in my local area was charged with sending juveniles to Camp Adams for financial reimbursements. I remember going to the court cases as a senior in high school, and seeing the children being found guilty within ten minutes of their court hearing. I believe that the juveniles would have had a better chance of being found not guilty if they had more adequate representation, and an attorney who challenged the decision of a judge, through an appeal or motion for a recusal, who had a reputation of sending a majority of juvenile’s who came before him to Camp Adams whether or not there was strong evidence against the defendant.

Other than pro-bono legal work, I would like to have a career in a large or medium sized law firm that specializes in business law. If accepted to Tulane University Law School, I’m planning to take the majority of my courses in finance and corporate law during my second and third years. After reviewing the Selecting Courses booklet on Tulane University’s Law School website, the courses that most interest me are corporate tax, accounting and auditing, securities and regulations, mergers and acquisitions, and corporate finance. I believe the knowledge that I would gain in these classes, along with my financial and risk management work experience, would help me to earn internships while attending law school and full-time employment once I graduate. Eventually, I would like to start my own law practice and work towards a career in politics. These two ambitions coming later in life once I’ve gained experience practicing and interpreting the law.

I know that Tulane University Law School has a lot to offer me: A world class education that places its students in the largest legal employment cities in the country. It also has a strong alumni base, a beautiful campus, a state of the art law school facility, and experienced professors who I can learn from. In return, I believe that I have much to offer Tulane University Law School and the Tulane University community as a whole. If accepted, I’m going to work towards earning a position on law review, join nonprofit organizations on campus, conduct legal research, achieve high grades, and utilize my post graduate work experience to add to the dialogue in the classroom. In all, Tulane University Law School will help me to achieve my career goals and ambitions.

Re: Is this any good? Please feel free to offer suggestions

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 10:24 pm
by rinkrat19
Anonymous User wrote:As a former foster child, I feel extremely fortunate for the opportunities I’ve had. Some of the opportunities have been earned solely by me, but the majority of them have been earned with the help and guidance of my adoptive parents. Without them I would not be the person I am today. I didn’t realize until I was older how much I truly took for granted. I also realize that I’m in a position to help those less fortunate than me, who may not have had the same support or nurturing environment that I was adopted into at the age of eleven. It’s due to this realization that one of my strongest ambitions as an attorney is to participate in pro-bono work.

As an attorney, I will conduct pro-bono work for those who can’t financially afford an attorney. The two specific groups of people I would like to help are adoptive parents and juveniles. I’d like to represent parents who want to adopt a child, but can’t afford the attorney and court fees. I believe this would help find more adoptive homes for foster children, which may lead to higher graduation rates for former foster children (currently only two percent of former foster children have graduated college). The second group I would like to represent through pro-bono is underprivileged juveniles who have been charged with a crime. In 2007, a judge in my local area was charged with sending juveniles to Camp Adams for financial reimbursements. I remember going to the court cases as a senior in high school, and seeing the children being found guilty within ten minutes of their court hearing. I believe that the juveniles would have had a better chance of being found not guilty if they had more adequate representation, and an attorney who challenged the decision of a judge, through an appeal or motion for a recusal, who had a reputation of sending a majority of juvenile’s who came before him to Camp Adams whether or not there was strong evidence against the defendant.

Other than pro-bono legal work, I would like to have a career in a large or medium sized law firm that specializes in business law. If accepted to Tulane University Law School, I’m planning to take the majority of my courses in finance and corporate law during my second and third years. After reviewing the Selecting Courses booklet on Tulane University’s Law School website, the courses that most interest me are corporate tax, accounting and auditing, securities and regulations, mergers and acquisitions, and corporate finance. I believe the knowledge that I would gain in these classes, along with my financial and risk management work experience, would help me to earn internships while attending law school and full-time employment once I graduate. Eventually, I would like to start my own law practice and work towards a career in politics. These two ambitions coming later in life once I’ve gained experience practicing and interpreting the law.

I know that Tulane University Law School has a lot to offer me: A world class education that places its students in the largest legal employment cities in the country. It also has a strong alumni base, a beautiful campus, a state of the art law school facility, and experienced professors who I can learn from. In return, I believe that I have much to offer Tulane University Law School and the Tulane University community as a whole. If accepted, I’m going to work towards earning a position on law review, join nonprofit organizations on campus, conduct legal research, achieve high grades, and utilize my post graduate work experience to add to the dialogue in the classroom. In all, Tulane University Law School will help me to achieve my career goals and ambitions.
This is the answer to the question "please describe the type of law you would like to practice." It is not a personal statement. I don't learn anything about you except literally the very first sentence saying you are a foster child. There are probably dozens of fantastic topics for personal statements in your past as a foster kid; I can't even imagine. This essay is not one of them.

A personal statement should tell the reader:
1. This is who I am/what I am like/something I've learned/how I became the person I am.
2. This is a story about me, which implicitly shows me to have these fine qualities/characteristics/experiences that would be useful to me in law school/as a lawyer.
3. I am a good writer.
4. I can follow the school's instructions (follow page requirements, topic, etc.)
5. (Optional, unless specified in the prompt) This why I want to go to law school.

Re: Is this any good? Please feel free to offer suggestions

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 11:56 am
by HRomanus
rinkrat19 wrote: A personal statement should tell the reader:
1. This is who I am/what I am like/something I've learned/how I became the person I am.
2. This is a story about me, which implicitly shows me to have these fine qualities/characteristics/experiences that would be useful to me in law school/as a lawyer.
3. I am a good writer.
4. I can follow the school's instructions (follow page requirements, topic, etc.)
5. (Optional, unless specified in the prompt) This why I want to go to law school.
This is an incredible way to describe it.